Am I weird for not caring about engagement ring?

blackraspberry

Himself and I are sure to get engaged soon. We'd just do it, only he wants to be very traditional about it. We've had a financially tough few years and aren't stable enough to be saving every month yet, so our budget is quite (very) low. I have a couple of ideas about the ring I'd like - a bit sparkly, not gold, maybe with my birthstone in it etc. But reading this forum, I've seen so much thought going into rings, not to mention cost! People are talking about cut, colour, clarity etc. I don't care about any of that kind of stuff. My birthstone isn't a precious stone like a ruby or sapphire, but I love it so i'd really be happy with my birthstone to be the main focus, maybe with a couple of very small diamonds set in the band.

I guess my question is, will I regret not caring?! I've seen dress rings that I think are perfect for me, but I can't shake the idea that I'm missing something by not wanting a huge diamond that costs 1000s. Like will people judge me or think my fiancé is cheap because the ring cost less than E1000 . Are there others out there that don't care about the ring? Or is it just a bad decision to get a cheap ring - more likely to fall apart/get damaged etc?

I know I probably soumd really stupid for being concerned what others think, so please don't be too harsh with replies . It's more than I want to be sure that I'm not making a silly mistake because I don't have enough information.

coats

Get what you are happy with, my engagement ring cost €60 and I adore it and don't care what anyone thinks, I have mine for 13 years now and still love it as much as the day I picked it out

Moonbeam

Get what you like:)
I would have been happy with any purple stone or a garnet and silver esp if he had picked it himself.
It is not what other people thing that matters but that you love it!

looksee

I am totally weird in that I have no interest in diamonds at all. I would much prefer semi-precious, or indeed not precious at all stones provided I like the look of them! and while silver is a bit annoying in that it needs to be cleaned so often, I prefer it to gold. Go with what you want, don't worry about anyone else, no-one who matters really gives a damn anyway!

Bobsammy

Get whatever you want! After all you're the one who'll be wearing it. We spent very little on my engagement ring and even though I really like it now I generally just wear my wedding ring. I only put the engagement ring on when I'm dressed up. My sister in law was adamant she didn't want an engagement ring at all and never bothered with one.

blackraspberry

I feel much better now, thank you!

I have rings that I wear every day that are silver and cost very little, but mean a lot. I've never had any real interest in diamonds (except like "ooh shiny!") so I don't know why I'm getting hung up on this engagement ring thing! Moonbeam, snap, my birthstone is amethyst and that's the stone I want in my ring. As long as the band isn't yellow gold, I don't care.

I've seen one in a local jewellers for less than E500 that looks perfect. I'd obviously need to try it on but I think I'll point him in that direction .

Watch now and he'll produce some family heirloom that I never knew about and all my fretting will have been in vain!

Dolbert

My engagement ring cost hundreds, not thousands, and I adore it! I was never fussed about diamonds, but ended up falling in love with a white gold solitaire in a local jewelers (for half the price of the same ring in a more upmarket area!) We went local again for our wedding rings and I got a sapphire studded band, as it's the birthstone for both of us. Both were cheap by engagement standards and I couldn't be happier with them. I certainly can't imagine regretting not spending stupid money on them

seosamh1980

There's a boardsie who has an amazing unusual engagement ring that was designed for her/them and includes coloured stones. If you'd like I can ask her if it's ok for you to pm her for more info of who made it?

pwurple

blackraspberry wrote: »

Like will people judge me or think my fiancé is cheap because the ring cost less than E1000 .

I've never seen anyone ask the price of a ring, so i don't think you will be asked at all. No-one can tell the value of a ring with the naked eye, so don't worry one bit about it.

Of my friends, it's about half and half on diamonds vs other stones. People have all sorts. Even with that uk royal wedding two years ago, i think that engagement ring was a blue stone? I think getting a stone which has meaning for you is a lovely personal touch.

Get what feels comfortable to you, hopefully you will be wearing it a long time. And congratulations!

Gatica

Get a ring you're happy with. I advise against "costume jewellery" though as the metals can be quite unreliable, could react badly with your skin over time, get damaged, fade, etc... At least go with Silver, or Titanium or one of those non-reactive metals...
If you like one that's circa 500E, I'm guessing it's not a 20 quid ring from Monsoon or the like though. No one is going to judge you for the type of ring you have. It's hard to tell cost of rings unless you're a specialist, some antique rings with semi-precious stones can cost as much as diamond rings.
Originally I didn't want an engagement ring at all because I wanted a rather fancy looking eternity wedding ring and a second ring would've looked out of place with it. Himself insisted on one as he said people would be expecting to see a ring if we announced an engagement.

lazygal

I think you're over thinking this. Just get what you like and remember no one else really cares all that much.

I find sometimes people have to point out that they can't see the sense in spending thousands on 'insert whatever it is they don't want to spend that amount on' and have to let others know they think its a waste. I don't spend thousands on other things people are happy to drop the cash on, but I don't really care. As long as I'm not paying for it.

I don't have a diamond engagement ring. Not because I've labelled myself as 'weird' but because I don't particularly like diamonds. I also have a wedding band to match my ring and an eternity ring with the same stones. They cost a fair bit but we could afford it and I wanted something special to mark the big life events they represent.

Again, just get what you want. Other people don't care as much as we like to think they might.

NewMrs2b

My original engagement ring was a 50e ring that I loved. Was different and himself picked it out as a token. I loved it.. As it turned when he asked my father for permission and when went to see them mam had her ring polished for me. I always loved it and would have styled mine on this. They had spoke with OH and hewas delighted as was I. I think the ring should mean something tya so what if its 10/100/1000 euro!

Ever2010

We just decided to get married (he didn't ask me) and didn't bother with an engagement ring - I've never wanted one and hate diamonds. My wedding ring has a black onyx stone - it's a vintage ring and cost just over €100 - I love it - and I'm not into rings at all - so I chose something that I liked and wanted to wear.

I think once you like the ring you won't regret anything. Keep this is mind when organising your wedding as well - whatever the two of you want!

Neyite

My engagement ring cost hundreds, not thousands. And I was nearly going to get a dress ring for €150 because I liked the design, but happened to spot one that I fell in love with but happened to have diamonds.

If anyone is cheeky enough to ask you the price, I recommend you do my stock reply:

*stare*
"thats a very personal thing to ask, isnt it?"
*stare some more*

Its the one I used for when I was being nagged for babies, then about my ring, and now about a sibling. :P