****ting standing up

StrugglingSoul

Am I the only one who does this??? How could you sit on a public toilet?? I'll admit it's a bit awkward, but I don't have much of a choice! I use the walls for support to lower myself a little and basically do the whole act standing up. It's probably good exercise for my quads too. I don't know about ye guys, but when I fanacise about licking a girl's ass cheeks, it's on the assumption that they haven't been seated on a public toilet(for some reason)!! I'd love to know how others deal with this dilemma so get cracking my friends

Ciara GaGa

Using the walls as support is probably just as bad as sitting on the seat...

lukesmom

I cover the toilet seat with toilet paper.

WilyCoyote

This could be as a result of you being a non smoking TT

The Master

Just adopt the downhill skier's approach and you'll be fine

iMac_Hunt

I put toilet paper on the seat. Taking a shit is one of the few times in the day I get to relax, there is no way I'm standing up while I'm doing it.

Gummy Panda

Get one of those paleo things that let you squat above your toilet

wilson10

StrugglingSoul wrote: »

Am I the only one who does this??? How could you sit on a public toilet?? I'll admit it's a bit awkward, but I don't have much of a choice! I use the walls for support to lower myself a little and basically do the whole act standing up. It's probably good exercise for my quads too. I don't know about ye guys, but when I fanacise about licking a girl's ass cheeks, it's on the assumption that they haven't been seated on a public toilet(for some reason)!! I'd love to know how others deal with this dilemma so get cracking my friends

What dilemna is that?, finding yourself fanticising about licking girls butts.

jimgoose

Ye city-slickers and ye're meaningless little self-inflicted traumas. Where I grew up it was considered fashionable to run along the boreen with your mickey out, piddling away like a stallion.

StrugglingSoul

Ciara GaGa wrote: »

Using the walls as support is probably just as bad as sitting on the seat...

What? I'd presume people don't rub their ass's all over the walls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jimgoose

iMac_Hunt wrote: »

I put toilet paper on the seat. Taking a shit is one of the few times in the day I get to relax, there is no way I'm standing up while I'm doing it.

Poll: Nest-Builder vs. Hovercraft FTW! :cool:

ColeTrain

StrugglingSoul wrote: »

I don't know about ye guys, but when I fanacise about licking a girl's ass cheeks, it's on the assumption that they haven't been seated on a public toilet(for some reason)!!

A terrible beauty is born

shanered

We should stand up for our rights to sit down more often!

Ciara GaGa

Ya never know!!, it's a public toilet like..

Wabbit Ears

Wipe seat, take cr@p sitting down.

Irony is that its because of people like the OP that the OP does what (s)he does!!

The Backwards Man

Thanks to the swear filter, I have no idea what this thread is about.

StrugglingSoul

Ciara GaGa wrote: »

Ya never know!!, it's a public toilet like..

like you must be a cork man like

Too Tough To Die

I don't sh*t in public toilets.

meemeemee

Crapping standing up is quite common in other parts of the world. And nearer to home than you think !

On visiting quite a few places in France I was shocked to find they still had the old slab of concrete with a hole in it.

Worse, in East London, I went to a Middle Eastern restaurant. After the meal, I went to the gents. The toilets were cubicles with no doors, with a slab of concrete on the floor with a hole in it, and chrome shower leads without a shower head attached to an outdoors style cold tap. Urgh !

StrugglingSoul

iMac_Hunt wrote: »

I put toilet paper on the seat. Taking a shit is one of the few times in the day I get to relax, there is no way I'm standing up while I'm doing it.

I never tried that. I just assumed it would take too long to make sure that the entire seat is covered. It would also stick to your bum when you'd stand up afterwards.. wouldn't it??????????????

darragh16

I don't like to shíte in public toilets but if its unavoidable I just go skiing

Pilsbury Doughboy

Why did I even click on this thread!!! I dunno!

seamus

You see that weird stretchy, hairy substance your body is covered with? It's called skin. Incredibly impenetrable, it prevents other people's germs from getting into your body. Just wipe down the toilet seat with paper and put your arse on it. You pick up more germs wiping your own arse than wiping the seat it's sitting on.

Aglomerado

What if you had a dodgy pint and it sprays everywhere?

Ciara GaGa

StrugglingSoul wrote: »

like you must be a cork man like

Good one..

Pilsbury Doughboy

Ciara GaGa wrote: »

Good one..

Yea with a name like Ciara, you must be a cork man!:rolleyes:

jester77

Liquid diet, just need to spread the cheeks and aim. Takes a bit of target practice, but once mastered you'll never go back to solids... plus you have the added bonus of no clingons.

BeerWolf

This is what the OP really wants...

LINK (Wiki) :pac:

StrugglingSoul

Too Tough To Die wrote: »

I don't sh*t in public toilets.

Do you just hold it for hours until you get home?

jimgoose

Aglomerado wrote: »

What if you had a dodgy pint and it sprays everywhere?

You get the hang of controlling those via the rectal muscles, like changing the choke on a shotgun.

SEPT 23 1989

they sh1te standing up in the middle of the street in Egypt

DeanAustin

Ah ffs. Has anyone ever caught anything from a toilet from sitting on it? Quick wipe of the seat and sh!te away. Load of paranoid bollix to be worried about it.

Another one I don't understand is girls who say "Eww he didn't wash his hands after having a pee, how disgusting" but stick a dick into their mouth whenever they have sex.

Aglomerado

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

they sh1te standing up in the middle of the street in Egypt

And they used up all their toilet roll on the mummies.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

what the hell are you expecting to catch on your ass cheeks from a toilet seat

--edit

should read thread more carefully being being snarky, I love you seamus.

StrugglingSoul

jester77 wrote: »

Liquid diet, just need to spread the cheeks and aim. Takes a bit of target practice, but once mastered you'll never go back to solids... plus you have the added bonus of no clingons.

What are clingons?

Ciara GaGa

StrugglingSoul wrote: »

What are clingons?

Do we really need to go there?...

BeerWolf

StrugglingSoul wrote: »

What are clingons?

This

Aglomerado

BeerWolf wrote: »

THIS

Jesus! I'd hate to have him hanging off my butt! What's next, the Captain's Log??

xXxkorixXx

is that you Finch?

StrugglingSoul

DeanAustin wrote: »

Another one I don't understand is girls who say "Eww he didn't wash his hands after having a pee, how disgusting" but stick a dick into their mouth whenever they have sex.

I think I should have another thread about that in due course

StrugglingSoul

Ciara GaGa wrote: »

Do we really need to go there?...

ah go on, tell me

StrugglingSoul

xXxkorixXx wrote: »

is that you Finch?

yep

Pilsbury Doughboy

Ciara GaGa wrote: »

Do we really need to go there?...

Excuse my nosiness Ciara but you're a member here 4 years with only 17 posts to your name and you decide to get active in this thread of all threads, what gives!?!

Ciara GaGa

Pilsbury Doughboy wrote: »

Excuse my nosiness Ciara but you're a member here 4 years with only 17 posts to your name and you decide to get active in this thread of all threads, what gives!?!

I was only thinking that myself! haha, the *** in the title caught my eye I guess, honestly!!

StrugglingSoul

Ciara GaGa wrote: »

I was only thinking that myself! haha, the *** in the title caught my eye I guess, honestly!!

Admit it Ciara like. You like this sort of thing.. dont ya like?? You naughty gal

Ciara GaGa

StrugglingSoul wrote: »

Admit it Ciara like. You like this sort of thing.. dont ya like?? You naughty gal

"Like"

Naturally humans are supposed to squat when doing a two. Western toilets have been designed totally wrong. You're not supposed to need to force it. It's suggested you should squat over the toilet rather than sitting and that sitting is part of the reason for irritable bowel syndrome. I feel like such a dry sh*te for knowing this.

In public toilets I'm not sitting on or cleaning some other mans p*ss from the seat.

StrugglingSoul

Ciara GaGa wrote: »

"Like"

I think we should find a cubicle already like

Big C

darragh16 wrote: »

I don't like to shíte in public toilets but if its unavoidable I just go skiing

wow you wear skis and goggles just have a dump

Ush1

Reminds me of the worst dump I ever took....

I was in Mexico and because Mexicans are small their toilets seem to block with large dumps, which happened every morning I was there as I was hungover. I had to go one morning and because it was totally blocked I made my way down to the pools public toilets.

There were Mexican kids running around like mental as kids do and I skipped by clutching my sides ready to explode, making it to the toilets.

First problem, no toilet paper to be seen but by now it was too late. Then, the toilet actually had no seat and the rim was covered in p*ss. Okay , hover job. Next problem, again as Mexicans are so short the toilet is very, very low so hovering was difficult, especially in 40 plus degrees. Next thing was the doors to the toilet, were like saloon type doors with a large gap in the middle? Also, they had slits through them which were completely visible and they wouldn't stay closed.

So I had to hover, holding the sides with my hands to balance and one leg extended trying to hold the doors shut, with my head sticking out over the top of the saloon doors as all these Mexicans kids were screaming and running in and out. Worst dump ever.

kneemos

Plastic bag over the seat and poke a hole in the middle (with your finger).
Safety Shoite.