Arabic States scientists develop "Gay Test" to "Detect & Ban" homosexuals !

meemeemee

Gotta love these guys. They are the gift that keeps on giving. Better than Sepp Blatter or Prince Phillip, just when you think you have heard it all, they manage to come out with one to top the last one !

Last week the Saudis discovered that women who drive cars damage their pelvis and give birth to deformed children, so luckily that ban on women drivers is still in place.

Today, the Gulf Cooperation Countries (Bahrain, Kuwait, Oman, Qatar, Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates States) have announced they have developed a "Gay Test" which will detect homosexuals and prevent them from entering their countries.

http://gulfnews.com/news/gulf/kuwait/homosexuals-to-be-barred-from-entering-kuwait-1.1240199

Well, I can tell you, on reading this on my limited edition pink Kath Kidson iPad, I practically spat my Latte Macchiatto (skinny with unsweetened soya milk) all over my coffee table, narrowly missing my Tom Of Finland artbook and my Best Of Donna Summer CD.

I wonder what the test is ?

Recite the track listing of a Village People album, or maybe the Arabic Homo Hunters will take a cheeky squeeze and see what the reaction is ? (As Monty Python said " want to come back to my place ? ")

Timmyctc

I bet the Nigerian fella sold them the magnets idea.

Insect Overlord

kneemos

Hope it doesn't involve an anal inspection.

wp_rathead

Question 1 of Gay Test:
Spell YMCA*

*If individual spells it with choreographed dance move, they fail the test

Gee Bag

Question 2 of Gay Test (to be asked by a male model)

"would you like a blow job?"

Timmyctc

Question 3 of gay test.
*female enters room*
"Does this Hijab go with these sandals?"

Cookie_Monster

About time, they'll run out of oil soon and can licence these tests to the west to keep the income coming in.
The car one too sounds useful, though will probably require more delicate marketing to ease us into the notion that we'll have to stop women driving.

clairefontaine

I wonder if the same loons who boycotted Barilla are also going to boycott the pertrol they put in their car.

hansfrei

What are they gonna do with all the rejects?

brimal

hansfrei wrote: »

What are they gonna do with all the rejects?

They can come to Tel Aviv, gay capital of the Middle East, if not the world.

Nodin

hansfrei wrote: »

What are they gonna do with all the rejects?

....get their details. Maybe give them a call.

They've given no description of this "test", funny enough.

freedominacup

Nodin wrote: »

....get their details. Maybe give them a call.

They've given no description of this "test", funny enough.

They're afraid some bright spark wil start giving grinds in how to pass it.

who the fug

this could be a problem in Oman

jill_valentine

Teehee. "Grinds."

bizmark

Is it a gaydar ? or is it a multiple choice test?
"A man tells you your looking wonderful today do you
A.Mutter incoherently
B.stare blankly at the man
C.Punch him in the face
D.tell him oh behave and discus the latest fashion from Paris"

suicide_circus

according to an Omani chap I know, it's generally known that their Sultan is a gay.

Howard Juneau

Detecting & banning gays from entering the country.
They don't have any gays in their villages as it is?

biko

Question 4: Do you like bacha bazi? If so you might be gay.

who the fug

suicide_circus wrote: »

according to an Omani chap I know, it's generally known that their Sultan is a gay.

Are you suggesting that young english chappie is more than just a friend

shruikan2553

There will be a written test, a practical test and an oral test. The written test will include "given your understanding of celine dione, was is she amazing" and "my favourite place in the world". The practical test will have choosing between a beer or cocktail and you're reaction to being cavity searched. They will assess the quality of your oral, of it is the best blow job they have ever had you're out. They may also use magnet but I think CERN and MIT are still trying to find out just how they have a connection to homosexuality

sbsquarepants

meemeemee wrote: »

Well, I can tell you, on reading this on my limited edition pink Kath Kidson iPad, I practically spat my Latte Macchiatto (skinny with unsweetened soya milk) all over my coffee table, narrowly missing my Tom Of Finland artbook and my Best Of Donna Summer CD.

Congratulations sir, you have passed the test and are free to enter Saudi Arabia, Allah be praised.:D

El Weirdo

suicide_circus wrote: »

according to an Omani chap I know, it's generally known that their Sultan is a gay.

So it would seem...

...and the Sultan is particularly enthusiastic about the pipe organ

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qaboos_bin_Said_al_Said#Personal_life

Gummy Panda

Can they.not do the bum test?

o = straight
O = likes a díck
( ) = Likes many in the bum

Is this like those gay test images, where you're shown a woman with huge breasts and if you notice anything in the background, it means you're gay?

gobnaitolunacy

If Mick The Bull Daly taught us anything, quaaaares are quite easily detected...they wear pink clothing, berets and neckerchiefs.

Oh yes and they have hooks for hands.

anncoates

suicide_circus wrote: »

according to an Omani chap I know, it's generally known that their Sultan is a gay.

So he'll be getting the pick of the test failures, having them clad in hot pants and shipped to his palace

speedboatchase

I'm a proud heterosexual living in the Gulf and I'm very intrigued by any test that dares question my passion for bewbs. BRING IT ON :mad:

Doc Ruby

Deleted User wrote: »

Is this like those gay test images, where you're shown a woman with huge breasts and if you notice anything in the background, it means you're gay?

I bet it's like that scene from Aliens where the aliens are closing in on them, lots of pink blips sashaying stylishly across a greenscreen monitor.

Zebra3

meemeemee wrote: »

Last week the Saudis discovered that women who drive cars damage their pelvis and give birth to deformed children, so luckily that ban on women drivers is still in place.

They discovered it or one clown claimed it?

brimal wrote: »

They can come to Tel Aviv, gay capital of the Middle East, if not the world.

But best staying away from Jerusalem, eh?

brimal

Zebra3 wrote: »

They discovered it or one clown claimed it?



But best staying away from Jerusalem, eh?

Actually there is a pretty good scene in Jerusalem too, small but good.

It's the usual provocative comment from you, I have no idea what my location has to do with it. Was anything I said in my post untrue? God forbid I say anything positive about Israel :rolleyes:

Zebra3

brimal wrote: »

Actually there is a pretty good scene in Jerusalem too, small but good.

It's the usual provocative comment from you, I have no idea what my location has to do with it. Was anything I said in my post untrue? God forbid I say anything positive about Israel :rolleyes:

Your location has nothing to do with it.

Jerusalem has plenty of jewish extremists who don't even like hetrosexuals flaunting their hetrosexuality never mind homosexuals.

Add in sex-segregated ares and public transport, it's not quite the image of the place you like to give, is it?

(And that's without even mentioning the low level ethnic cleansing of Palestinians in the illegally occupied east of the city).

CrazyRabbit

biko wrote: »

Question 4: Do you like bacha bazi? If so you might be gay.

I don't see what being gay has to do with something that is basically child prostitution/slavery.

Timmyctc

Can we make up a new Godin's law RE: Israeli/Palestinian conflict. And everytime someone violates Timmyctc's law on a relatively upbeat and comedic thread they get an instant kick in the nads/va-jay-jay followed by a three week ban from posting on the funnier threads.

tosspot15

What a sad insecure little nation of people.

keithclancy

Question: What is Kylie Minogue.

Answer: A pop singer - Pass

Answer: Fabulous - Fail.

brimal

Zebra3 wrote: »

Your location has nothing to do with it.

Jerusalem has plenty of jewish extremists who don't even like hetrosexuals flaunting their hetrosexuality never mind homosexuals.

And? Please tell me what that has got to do with anything in this thread? I'm genuinely curious as to why you need to mention this? i mean it's not untrue, but very odd you have to bring this in. Also let's not single out Jews, there are plenty of Arabs in Jerusalem too with that mindset.

Zebra3 wrote: »

Add in sex-segregated ares and public transport, it's not quite the image of the place you like to give, is it?

Here is what I said:

brimal wrote: »

They can come to Tel Aviv, gay capital of the Middle East, if not the world.

Is this not true? What 'image' am I giving? I'm stating a fact about Tel Aviv. Your response is very strange considering I never mentioned Jerusalem (although as stated they have a pretty good scene too).

Zebra3 wrote: »

(And that's without even mentioning the low level ethnic cleansing of Palestinians in the illegally occupied east of the city).

Ah here we go. Your bitter hatred of Israel consumes you. The slightest hint of anything positive about the country and you jump in to counter it a negative, even if it's unrelated to the topic. Snore.

brimal

Timmyctc wrote: »

Can we make up a new Godin's law RE: Israeli/Palestinian conflict. And everytime someone violates Timmyctc's law on a relatively upbeat and comedic thread they get an instant kick in the nads/va-jay-jay followed by a three week ban from posting on the funnier threads.

I agree, it's a pity I can't make one simple post without the usual posters jumping down my throat.

I'm bowing out of the conversation with Zebra3 now, for the sake of my nads :pac:

Timmyctc

brimal wrote: »

I agree, it's a pity I can't make one simple post without the usual posters jumping down my throat.

I'm bowing out of the conversation with Zebra3 now, for the sake of my nads :pac:

A wise choice good sir/ma'am :P

EDIT: SIR. I realised you just said nads :pac:

old hippy

Thinly veiled anti-Muslim/semite/gay thread :mad:

Paramite Pie

^^ Their veils aren't that thin in the Middle East. Too much temptation. Why not put the gays in Burqa's too... that'll learn 'em.

speedboatchase

It's kinda hilarious what happened to the word 'fabulous'. Even if I told my girlfriend that she looks "fabulous" I would feel like a camp reality TV judge almost instantly.

Zebra3

brimal wrote: »

And? Please tell me what that has got to do with anything in this thread? I'm genuinely curious as to why you need to mention this? i mean it's not untrue, but very odd you have to bring this in. Also let's not single out Jews, there are plenty of Arabs in Jerusalem too with that mindset.

Here is what I said:

Is this not true? What 'image' am I giving? I'm stating a fact about Tel Aviv. Your response is very strange considering I never mentioned Jerusalem (although as stated they have a pretty good scene too).

Ah here we go. Your bitter hatred of Israel consumes you. The slightest hint of anything positive about the country and you jump in to counter it a negative, even if it's unrelated to the topic. Snore.

You were the one that brought Tel Aviv into the thread that had nothing to with Israel and then want to know why I brought Jerusalem into the thread? Ffs... :rolleyes:

Your claims of my "bitter hatred of Israel" is a nice attempt from avoiding the facts that I posted.

Mr. CooL ICE

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Can they.not do the bum test?

o = straight
O = likes a díck
( ) = Likes many in the bum

( ) looks like somebody has eaten too much PF Changs

old hippy

speedboatchase wrote: »

It's kinda hilarious what happened to the word 'fabulous'. Even if I told my girlfriend that she looks "fabulous" I would feel like a camp reality TV judge almost instantly.

And what happened to the word "fabulous", exactly?

snubbleste

old hippy wrote: »

And what happened to the word "fabulous", exactly?

It was used repeatedly in Kildare Village promotions. Fab-u-lous

old hippy

snubbleste wrote: »

It was used repeatedly in Kildare Village promotions. Fab-u-lous

I have no idea what that is but cheers.

anncoates

old hippy wrote: »

I have no idea what that is but cheers.

In other words, you know exactly what it is but in to deliver a devastating riposte to mainstream mores, you have to feign ignorance about it.

Gummy Panda

LordChessington wrote: »

( ) looks like somebody has eaten too much PF Changs

More like they've taken too many wangs

_Redzer_

So far I've managed to fly through these tests, even with the notable handicap of actually being gay

Gummy Panda

_Redzer_ wrote: »

So far I've managed to fly through these tests, even with the notable handicap of actually being gay

What about this question?

What is hotter on a man?

a) shaved
b) beard