Stuck in car - divorce possible.

Elbaston

Please help me AH.

Earlier today I took a loan of my wifes car. We've been going through a very bad patch lately, and are on the absolute edge of a divorce. I took the car without permission to go visit a female friend since herself is gone out for a coffee with her own friends (I think she went out about 2-ish). Somethings gone wrong with the central locking and electrics, nothing will open including the doors. If I smash the window and return home with her car damaged after taking it without her permission that will be it for our marriage. If I call her and explain she'll equally freak out since I took it without asking. Also if I drive home and lie she'll probably find out where I went (the low fuel light is on) and get ever madder.
Its Sunday and theres no way I'll get someone to fix the window.
Im just off the M50 near the red cow roundabout.

Howard Juneau

Afternoon nookie with a female "friend"?
You're deep in the brown stuff methinks!

wexfordman2

Elbaston wrote: »

Please help me AH.

Earlier today I took a loan of my wifes car. We've been going through a very bad patch lately, and are on the absolute edge of a divorce. I took the car without permission to go visit a female friend since herself is gone out for a coffee with her own friends (I think she went out about 2-ish). Somethings gone wrong with the central locking and electrics, nothing will open including the doors. If I smash the window and return home with her car damaged after taking it without her permission that will be it for our marriage. If I call her and explain she'll equally freak out since I took it without asking. Also if I drive home and lie she'll probably find out where I went (the low fuel light is on) and get ever madder.
Its Sunday and theres no way I'll get someone to fix the window.
Im just off the M50 near the red cow roundabout.

If that's gonna cause a divorce then don't bother hiding it, you've both got bigger issues than driving your wife's car without her knowing.

Doc Ruby

Sad state of affairs when you have to steal a car from your life partner just to visit friends. Shouldn't have got married in the first place my friend.

Renegade Mechanic

Elbaston wrote: »

Please help me AH.

Earlier today I took a loan of my wifes car. We've been going through a very bad patch lately, and are on the absolute edge of a divorce. I took the car without permission to go visit a female friend since herself is gone out for a coffee with her own friends (I think she went out about 2-ish). Somethings gone wrong with the central locking and electrics, nothing will open including the doors. If I smash the window and return home with her car damaged after taking it without her permission that will be it for our marriage. If I call her and explain she'll equally freak out since I took it without asking. Also if I drive home and lie she'll probably find out where I went (the low fuel light is on) and get ever madder.
Its Sunday and theres no way I'll get someone to fix the window.
Im just off the M50 near the red cow roundabout.

What car, op? Pm if discretion is the order of the day here.

galwayrush

Whatever you do, don't post details on the net...:pac:

Cork selfbuild

If its a keyless entry can you open boot with key and get into car that way, open bonnet and disconnect battery for 15min might reset, not sure but worth a go?

mackeire

Maybe put some petrol back in??

Did you get the feek off your female friend?

Cork selfbuild

Actually your stuck in the car? Sounds like double locks have activated... Are the back windows roll down down ones?

Elbaston

Oh god she's just texted me - she's on her way back to the house, says she'll be about 40 minutes.

Renegade Mechanic

Aye, car might have a flat battery. If It is operated via a key card there should be a tab on it you can pull out to unlock one of the doors with. Usually the passenger side.

Gummy Panda

Howard Juneau wrote: »

Afternoon nookie with a female "friend"?
You're deep in the brown stuff methinks!

Ah he had anal sex.

Renegade Mechanic

Elbaston wrote: »

Oh god she's just texted me - she's on her way back to the house, says she'll be about 40 minutes.

Not gonna slag you off as you havent explicitly stated why you went over. Besides which youll get plenty anyway. Is the car keyless entry?

EDIT: Wait.... are you stuck inside the car?

Seriously? I thought you were just drunk last night with the crap you were posting but what exactly are you hoping for here OP?

Fukuyama

See if you can pull down the back seat to get into the boot. There's normally a little button you have to press next to the head rest to release the catch to pull them down.

In most new cars, there's a handle or cord you can pull to open the boot (in case anyone ever gets lock into the boot....)

Then you're out!

Also, divorce her. If there's no kids involved you should get 50%

If there's a kid...well, enjoy the homeless life.

Ps. Grow a pair. You sound like you're afraid or intimidated by your wife ffs.

Stroll back into the gaff, toss her the keys and leave the toilet seat up.

galwayrush

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Ah he had anal sex.

At least OP's got 40 mins to wash the **** off:D

le la rat

.Is there anyway you could get into the boot and tie yourself up? Pretend you were hijacked

galwayrush

le la rat wrote: »

.Is there anyway you could get into the boot and tie yourself up? Pretend you were hijacked

and don't forget the misspelt tattoo on your forehead.

Elbaston

Im going to text her and tell her to stop off at dunnes.
I need to find ways to buy time.

Also Im starving.

And need a p1ss...theres no bottles or anything in the car.

Deleted User

Deleted User wrote: »

Seriously? I thought you were just drunk last night with the crap you were posting but what exactly are you hoping for here OP?

Elbaston wrote: »

Im going to text her and tell her to stop off at dunnes.
I need to find ways to buy time.

Also Im starving.

I think you should answer that post you thanked.

Fr_Dougal

Elbaston wrote: »

Please help me AH.

Earlier today I took a loan of my wifes car. We've been going through a very bad patch lately, and are on the absolute edge of a divorce. I took the car without permission to go visit a female friend since herself is gone out for a coffee with her own friends (I think she went out about 2-ish). Somethings gone wrong with the central locking and electrics, nothing will open including the doors. If I smash the window and return home with her car damaged after taking it without her permission that will be it for our marriage. If I call her and explain she'll equally freak out since I took it without asking. Also if I drive home and lie she'll probably find out where I went (the low fuel light is on) and get ever madder.
Its Sunday and theres no way I'll get someone to fix the window.
Im just off the M50 near the red cow roundabout.

Thinly veiled 'how do I steal a car' post...

Elbaston

Deleted User wrote: »

I think you should answer that post you thanked.

Dont you dare torment me at this time.
Ill lose the house and the kids - everything.



Sent from my iPhone 5

Cork selfbuild

Elbaston wrote: »

Im going to text her and tell her to stop off at dunnes.
I need to find ways to buy time.

Also Im starving.
.

Tell her to get some jocks, by the sound of it you'll need them...

TouchingVirus

Am I the only one thinking this is a pisstake?

Id say if you are that worried, then respond to Renegade mechanics questions FFS, seems he was trying to help you.... bit of effort on your part now..

Elbaston

Elbaston wrote: »

Dont you dare torment me at this time.
Ill lose the house and the kids - everything.


Sent from my iPhone 5

Honest to god it's getting ridiculous at this stage the little effort trolls put in.