Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Help Keep Boards Alive. Support us by going ad free today. See here: https://subscriptions.boards.ie/

Interfering in a row

  • 04-10-2013 02:00AM
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,800 ✭✭✭✭


    Out walking the dog tonight in the pissing rain I came across a couple, early 20's late teens maybe having a row. I could see them from where I was but they couldn't see me, I saw the chap snatch the girls phone and proceed to smash it. I stayed put, at that stage I wasn't going to interfere, fair enough he smashed the phone but no point in me getting involved.

    Next thing he grabbed her by the hair and started slapping, at that point I ran down and let a roar. The girl was crying, I asked if she was ok and she wouldn't stop thanking me. I turned my attention back to him and invited him to pull my hair and slap me to see where that would get him but he declined. After that he left, I made sure the girl was ok and left her to it too. Few minutes later I'm finishing up with the dog and yer man is back rowing with the girl again and she's taking his ****. Then they walked off together. How emotionally drained or how little confidence must a late teen girl have to put up with that ****? I will add she was a stunner too, don't mean that in a weird way just she wasn't a girl that should be lacking in confidence.

    Was I wrong to interfere? Should I have left them to it? I think 100 times out of 100 I'd do the same thing but was I wrong? My Mother thinks I should have just walked because she was in a similar situation years ago and the couple turned on her when she interfered


«134

Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 31,152 ✭✭✭✭KERSPLAT!


    The problem starts when he knocks lumps outta ya, pulls a knife or they both start on you. I'm not sure what I'd do. Don't want to see a girl getting slapped around but don't want to die either. That might be a bit dramatic but who knows these days


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,541 ✭✭✭Smidge


    Happens all too often OP
    Friend of mine saw a couple rowing, the fella gives her an unmerciful slap that nearly knocked her head off her shoulders.

    My mate intervenes and tries to restrain the guy who looks like he is going to kick the hell out of her at this stage.
    While my mate is holding this guy back he's not watching the girl who jumps up and while roaring "Get your fukcing hands off him" kicks my mate from behind, underneath his legs and into his groin area bringing him to his knees. At which point the boyfriend gave him a right solid into the jaw while he was on the ground. They then walked off together.

    Lovers tiff eh?

    But fair play for trying to do the right thing!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 317 ✭✭kellxor.1337


    To be quite honest I would have done the same, if I see two lads fighting one on one, I don't get involved, if I see somebody outnumbered and I think I can help I would, but if I see a guy raise his hand to a girl I loose the plot, I've gotten into trouble with friends/ex's over it but it's unacceptable, I'd be commending you for what you did but the end of the story is all too familiar, girl goes back to the d**k that treats her like crap,


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,320 ✭✭✭Ace Attorney


    Tbh if it was getting physical i think you were right to get involved


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,063 ✭✭✭Greenmachine


    Tbh if it was getting physical i think you were right to get involved

    Some of these couples. Misery keeps company. Both bf and gf knocking **** out of each other in some case. Pretty sure most fellas here would not intervene if they saw a fella getting slapped by a girl. They would assume he done something to deserve it. Doesn't work the other way. I hate violence who ever is dishing it.


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 567 ✭✭✭.Henry Sellers.


    Myself and a friend witnessed a nearly identical incident like that except it didn't have any slapping, just yer man shouting and he smashed the girls phone off the ground too. She was after getting caught with another fella, the boyfriend was telling us this and crying, calling her all sorts.
    I don't think I'd be running in like a White Knight straight away, it can backfire badly but it's an on the spot decision, people react differently.

    I know a guy who spent a few weeks in hospital for intervening during a couples argument, he had swelling on his brain from being beaten. The couple strolled off together after the assault.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,248 ✭✭✭✭B.A._Baracus


    Morally you could say you did the right thing, op :) However, the smart thing to do is just walk past. It really is commentary on society. That you could do the right thing and help a girl but for them both to attack you. It's nothing new, in fact it's most likely to happen.

    But to post a personal experience. I was with my girlfriend 6 months ago and we were walking down a road here in Blanchardstown and some couple were going at it. The guy was giving her such verbal abuse and when we walked past them the girl said "help me" in a soft tone - ..... But I just kept walking on with my girl.

    Reality was that he was not attacking her or even being rough with her. Just shouting at her for something she did I guess. But she wanted me to be her 'white knight' - aint gonna happen tho. We all have our own battles to fight. Wonder if she would help me in mine (we all know the answer to that)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 954 ✭✭✭lahalane


    I'd never interfere in other people's problems because I know that I won't be able to fix them. Fair play to you for trying to save that girl and luckily it didn't backfire on you but I wouldn't be arsed worrying about other people anymore. It would rarely end positively I reckon.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,892 ✭✭✭bizmark


    Your white knighting put you in potential danger and likely got him some make up sex wast of your time she didn't deserve your protection imho

    Personaly wouldnt involve myself beyond phoning the garda let them sort it out


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 767 ✭✭✭SimonQuinlank


    I'd just ring 999.

    Only way I'd get physically involved in crap like that would be if I was a Garda and was actually getting paid to endanger myself.


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,129 ✭✭✭✭Oranage2


    Done the Same few months back stopped a guy beatin his girl friend then we ended up having a fight, I was bigger than the guy , not sure I'd be as brave if he was of equal size.

    I wouldn't look down on someone not doing anything, if he's beating her in public then it's likely it has happened before and will again causing potential harm to yourself.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,134 ✭✭✭Lux23


    I'd just ring 999.

    Only way I'd get physically involved in crap like that would be if I was a Garda and was actually getting paid to endanger myself.

    I did that myself once, the cop get the smack instead!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 906 ✭✭✭Eight Ball


    Seen this same thing years ago in Nutgrove in Dublin, the bloke is giving the girl slaps and lad driving out of the car park pulls up walks over and decks the bloke flat on his back with a single punch. He then calmly gets back in his car and drives off all the while the girl hurling abuse at him for hurting her boyfriend/husband.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,073 ✭✭✭laoisman11


    Morally you could say you did the right thing, op :) However, the smart thing to do is just walk past. It really is commentary on society. That you could do the right thing and help a girl but for them both to attack you. It's nothing new, in fact it's most likely to happen.

    But to post a personal experience. I was with my girlfriend 6 months ago and we were walking down a road here in Blanchardstown and some couple were going at it. The guy was giving her such verbal abuse and when we walked past them the girl said "help me" in a soft tone - ..... But I just kept walking on with my girl.

    Reality was that he was not attacking her or even being rough with her. Just shouting at her for something she did I guess. But she wanted me to be her 'white knight' - aint gonna happen tho. We all have our own battles to fight. Wonder if she would help me in mine (we all know the answer to that)


    And the last section of your post is another "commentary on society". The irony.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,346 ✭✭✭No Pants


    the girl said "help me" in a soft tone - ..... But I just kept walking on with my girl.

    But she wanted me to be her 'white knight' - aint gonna happen tho.
    B.A. You've changed man.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,925 ✭✭✭✭anncoates


    Only unless she was getting beaten up or something.

    My friend spotted a couple arguing before in the city centre and the guy started throttling her so my mate went over and punched him. The guy then ran off and the girl then started on my friend for hitting her fella.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,925 ✭✭✭✭anncoates



    But to post a personal experience. I was with my girlfriend 6 months ago and we were walking down a road here in Blanchardstown and some couple were going at it. The guy was giving her such verbal abuse and when we walked past them the girl said "help me" in a soft tone - ..... But I just kept walking on with my girl.

    You mean, you didn't pity the fool? :confused:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,235 ✭✭✭returnNull


    anncoates wrote: »
    You mean, you didn't pity the fool? :confused:

    hey less of your jibber jabber:cool:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,468 ✭✭✭✭OldNotWIse


    I'd walk away. He could have pulled a knife or worse. I would only risk my life for someone I know and love, and there aren't many of those.

    One thing I notice about people who like to make their spats public is that they are usually confused as to whose side they're on, often ending up siding with the d1ckhead who slapped them thirty seconds ago, and turning on the "knight in shining armour". They'll be at it again in a few hours.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,835 ✭✭✭Tombo2001


    I was walking through Phibsboro once on a matchday, when there were heaps of people standing outside The Hut pub drinking.

    Anyways, one middle aged couple were quite drunk, and having an argument. So yer man pushes her not too hard, and then she throttles him and pushes him right back, and he lost his balance and fell against the window of Abrakebabra. Knocked 3lbs of grease of it probably.

    So he gets up, and has 'the look' in his eyes, arm raised ready to whack her.

    At this point, having watched proceedings, I stepped in front of him and tried to reason with him "come on pal, you cant be doing that"......

    And he was quite reasonable about it......he said "but you saw what she did to me".....so we got into a discussion about it and I thought that was that because he had calmed down.

    Next thing yer woman starts shouting at me to f*ck off, its none of my business and so on, and the guy starts defending me saying I was only trying to help out.....

    I left them at that.


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 232 ✭✭Angeles


    Why is it everyone on boards seems to live in the fear that every guy who's ever in a fight in Ireland runs around with a knife?
    Did i miss the memo?
    Maybe i should strap a machete to my thigh just so i can go around saying "You call that a knife? This is a knife" Then claim its just kids having some fun.



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,073 ✭✭✭gobnaitolunacy


    Leave them at it, fcuk them, don't know them and don't want to know them.

    If she hasn't the sense to walk out of bad company like that, well, what can you do? You're not a social worker.
    Such is life.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,836 ✭✭✭Sir Gallagher


    Morally you could say you did the right thing, op :) However, the smart thing to do is just walk past. It really is commentary on society. That you could do the right thing and help a girl but for them both to attack you. It's nothing new, in fact it's most likely to happen.

    But to post a personal experience. I was with my girlfriend 6 months ago and we were walking down a road here in Blanchardstown and some couple were going at it. The guy was giving her such verbal abuse and when we walked past them the girl said "help me" in a soft tone - ..... But I just kept walking on with my girl.

    Reality was that he was not attacking her or even being rough with her. Just shouting at her for something she did I guess. But she wanted me to be her 'white knight' - aint gonna happen tho. We all have our own battles to fight. Wonder if she would help me in mine (we all know the answer to that)

    I dont know whats more disturbing, the girl asking for help or you sounding almost happy to have ignored her.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,958 ✭✭✭LionelNashe


    I was walking down the street one time and there was this couple who weren't hitting each other or shouting and nobody was even arguing. Needless to say I just kept walking. That's all.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,949 ✭✭✭✭IvyTheTerrible


    OldNotWIse wrote: »
    I'd walk away. He could have pulled a knife or worse. I would only risk my life for someone I know and love, and there aren't many of those.

    One thing I notice about people who like to make their spats public is that they are usually confused as to whose side they're on, often ending up siding with the d1ckhead who slapped them thirty seconds ago, and turning on the "knight in shining armour". They'll be at it again in a few hours.
    One of the reasons women who are domestically abused "side" with their attackers against someone helping them is to try deflect some of the "punishment" they feel they will get later for the incident.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    I wouldn't, that has the potential to turn nasty real quick. People of that sort, who don't mind fighting in public, are generally birds of a feather, and would just as likely turn on you together and leave you broken up.

    If you're overly concerned, call the guards


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,468 ✭✭✭✭OldNotWIse


    Angeles wrote: »
    Why is it everyone on boards seems to live in the fear that every guy who's ever in a fight in Ireland runs around with a knife?
    Did i miss the memo?
    Maybe i should strap a machete to my thigh just so i can go around saying "You call that a knife? This is a knife" Then claim its just kids having some fun.



    I wouldnt be worried about every guy having a knife....but I would be worried about the one I pick on having one. It only takes one...after all. Nobody claiming its a certainty or even a probability...when it comes to your life...a possibility is enough!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 193 ✭✭mirekb


    I am starting to understand how domestic violence and sexual abuse has run rampant in this country.

    Not a commentary on the op's incident - just in some of the responses. Particularly the one about if she can't walk away it's her fault but also all the 'not my problem' ones.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,630 ✭✭✭Zen65


    Angeles wrote: »
    Why is it everyone on boards seems to live in the fear that every guy who's ever in a fight in Ireland runs around with a knife?
    Did i miss the memo?

    Perhaps there was no memo, but plenty of evidence that it is becoming more prevalent. In the UK the statistic for assault now show that knives or other sharp objects are used in almost 50% of recorded assaults on men.

    Never turn your back on either of them, that's the key lesson if you must get involved.


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 81,060 ✭✭✭✭biko


    Fair play for stepping in OP.
    Too many people do nothing.

    Yes, they probably have some sort of abusive relationship but it's good when normal people step in to say it isn't ok to fight in the street.
    If no-one does nothing it will not end well.


Advertisement