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Does my boyfriend actually like me?

  • 03-10-2013 11:15pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm 18, he's 22, we have the same interests, we met through working in the same industry, only it feels like he never wants to spend time with me.

    He asked me out, he made the first move, and I fell pretty quickly. I haven't really been in many relationships per se, I've had fleeting and casual flings moreso than anything else, so this has been pretty new and exciting for me. We've been dating for two months and I just love spending time in his company; even last night his two best mates said they're so happy I fit in to their group of friends so well.

    The last few weeks though it seems like an impossible feat to see him; last night was the first time we saw eachother in a week and a half, and though he was very apologetic, he said nothing to suggest we see one another more. He rarely texts or calls, but after we're together he'll always send a text saying how great it was to see me etc.
    We live in the same county but about an hour away, and both live with our parents so it can be hard to find any proper time alone to stop and have a proper chat as we almost always have to go out/to the cinema etc.

    One particular example was last week, we were both out one night and he made no attempt to see me, but we ended up in the same place and though he seemed delighted I was there, he soon floated away to talk to the rest of his mates.

    I make a concerted, yet not 'obessive' point of wanting to see him more, but he'll be working or I'll be at college so for now it seems like a losing battle...

    I'm also somewhat worried that we haven't slept together yet. I realise of course that it's obviously not the be all and end all, but surely after two months it would have been a natural progression in our relationship?

    I'm not sure what to think; am I being paranoid or is he just not that interested?


Comments

  • #2
    blatantrereg
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,743 ✭✭✭blatantrereg


    Does he refer to you as his girlfriend? It sounds like he might see you as someone he's dating, and not someone he is in a proper relationship with. [I wouldn't infer from that that he's open to meeting other people - just that he's not rushing into commitment.]

    The fact he hasn't slept with you might support that notion. He might only do this if/when he is sure he wants to be bf/gf. He is probably aware how much you like him, and it would not be gallant to sleep with you unless he was buying into a relationship with you. The age difference is not that big, but 18 year-olds do seem young to 22 year-olds - not "too young", but rather necessitating more gentle consideration with things like that. It's also possible that he has not slept with many people himself and is naturally reserved about doing so.

    Also; not rushing into things is not the same thing as not being interested. If he's delighted to see you then he does like you. It sounds to me more like he's gentlemanly and laid back, rather than not interested.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Yes that's the thing! He asked me a little while ago if I'd like to be his girlfriend and since then has been referring to me as such...

    We had a lovely few hours this evening with him and his mates and I feel so much better but I just know it'll probably be a good few days before I see him next. Maybe my heart is in it more than his...


  • #4
    Dellnum
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 262 ✭✭Dellnum


    You should be seeing him at least once a week and you should know what day/night that is going to be and not be just left dangling wondering. If he cannot commit to a certain day/night a week then forget him. Looks like he likes you alright but he is not that bothered about having a relationship at this stage. He will just see you when he feels like it.


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