Friend suddenly ignoring me

LegacyUser

Hey there,

I am really distressed at the moment. My best pal (I'm 16 and so is he, been best buds since we were 2, literally!), has just decided to ignore me completely.

It started when I was texting him and as being, my network went suddenly down. He kept responding hello? heloo? and so did I but he wasn't getting my texts.

After a couple of helloo?'s he said "Fine so".

Kinda didn't bother me as it wasnt the end of the world. However when trying to reach him on Facebook while he was online, I got no response no matter what I said.

I asked others was he replying to them and they said yeah, he was also liking stuff on facebook etc.. So that finally led me to believe he's definately ignoring me.

Tried ringing him, just ring's out. Tried texting him, no reply.

I honestly don't know what I did wrong, I didn't say anything, do anything that I'm aware of over the last couple of days so I am generally confused.

Should I go and try talk to him in person? Or is that a bad idea? Should I leave him off for a few days?

I just really can't understand why, like we have had our ups and downs but thats normal for a friendship and he has never, in the last 14 years (including baby years ) ignored me like this. I am just completely stressed out atm.

Thanks boards!

maria34

If thats what happened after few hellos and he got fed up then its really childish.

But now u care so i would talk with him and if he keeps his childish way, i would just let it be.

ABajaninCork

Oh, ignore him. He'll put the dummy back in eventually...

Stavro Mueller

Maybe he was looking for a reason to fall out with you?

Anyway the best thing to do here is to leave him be. He knows you're trying to get in touch so the ball is in his court now.

kylith

Send him one last text that just says something like 'Call me if you want to meet up', and then leave it at that. You've put the ball in his court and it's up to him to make contact. Don't be running after him, and don't be too available if he does call you.

December2012

Talk to him. This is the kind of thing that can be sorted out face to face.

Dellnum

I would send him an e-mail explaining what happened. It is then up to him to see sense.

amtc

I'm having something similar - I've been really good friends with this guy for 20 years. I bailed him out of jail in the 90s, drove to Donegal to pick him up when some girl dumped him, forgave him when he hit me once, and went to his wedding and the christening of his son.

Since he got married, he's never been the best at being in touch. He wasn't working for a while and other friends needed their garden dug, so I recommended him for 800 euros work. I'm also friends with a girl I met through him, and coincidentally we had birthdays all in the same week. I bought them small gifts and he got her one but not me. I didn't mind as I reckoned he'd something planned. We'd have been much better friends than he or she would have been.

That was April. Not a word since. I know (unless I completely lost my mind) that I did nothing wrong. Emailed, called, texted, nothing. Not much more I can do....

The other girl - who is a friend of his as well, as mentioned, reckons it's his wife's influence. He would be someone who's easily led, and I must say the last time I was in their house she commented on the fact I'd lost weight and looked good, and cancelled a pre-arranged night he had with me on the grounds that she had a headache...I was already in the restaurant. Believe me, I have no romantic interest in this guy. However, he has tried it on with me since he's got married and had now three children, I just swat him away.

I miss him, I do. But what can I do?

December2012

amtc wrote: »

I'm having something similar - I've been really good friends with this guy for 20 years. I bailed him out of jail in the 90s, drove to Donegal to pick him up when some girl dumped him, forgave him when he hit me once, and went to his wedding and the christening of his son.

Since he got married, he's never been the best at being in touch. He wasn't working for a while and other friends needed their garden dug, so I recommended him for 800 euros work. I'm also friends with a girl I met through him, and coincidentally we had birthdays all in the same week. I bought them small gifts and he got her one but not me. I didn't mind as I reckoned he'd something planned. W'd have been much better friends than he or he would have been.

That was April. Not a word since. I know (unless I completely lost my mind) that I did nothing wrong. Emailed, called, texted, nothing. Not much more I can do....

The other girl - who is a friend of his as well, as mentioned, reckons it's his wife's influence. He would be someone who's easily led, and I must say the last time I was in their house she commented on the fact I'd lost weight and looked good, and cancelled a pre-arranged night he had with me on the grounds that she had a headache...I was already in the restaurant. Believe me, I have no romantic interest in this guy. However, he has tried it on with me since he's got married and had now three children, I just swat him away.

I miss him, I do. But what can I do?

Let him leave you alone. He's married.

amtc

So believe me, I get that! I know his wife and children come first as it should! I'd never interfere with that - this guy is someone who is as close to a brother as anyone - I drop into his mum, he drops into mine....it's just the suddenness and lack of contact, and lack of recognising my birthday, whist recognising a more distant friend's one. There is and never has been (on my side) any romantic issue, and I'm fairly well convinced that when he's had a few, any girl'd do, so I don't think he means anything said in that state. I know he loves his wife and family.

Oh and he's been married since 2003 - so it's only since the wife saw me having lost 2 stone.

ABajaninCork

Yeah. Leg it, girl!

amtc

sorry - didn't mean to turn this into me. The boyfriend's snoring his head off on the sofa wondering why I won't go to bed. Might leave him there as he sounds like a stuck pig and didn't wash up.

Listen, back to the OP. At 16, these things seem desperately dramatic and important. If you are such good friends, it'll all blow over. Best advice I can give is to let it be. Whether it's a romantic relationship or a friendship, there is NOTHING worse than the whiff of desperation. Been there, done it, never works.