Reserved

LegacyUser

A friend made a comment recently how reserved I can be towards people. Another friend also said how secretive & shrewd I can be. Obviously all this got me thinking and has now made me paranoid and sensitive possibly because they could be right. I guess I'm slow to trust people and believe like me and accept for me. I'm hopeless with small talk so instead I can be quiet meeting people I reasonably know, whilst coming across reserved.

Has anyone advice on how to overcome this? Or just any help with it..
Thanks

TwoGallants

Is being reserved a bad thing? People are different. Some people are gregarious and can flow a conversation along naturally. Other people only really open up to close friends. I don't see it as a huge problem if you are one or the other. Do you want to be gregarious? Because, to be honest, all you need to do is make more of an effort with small talk and watch as it grows in to a conversation. The real question you need to ask is whether you care enough to actually do this.

December2012

It's not necessarily a bad quality.

How do you feel about it?

Plenty of private people are still warm and loving.

Do you know why you don't trust people?

LegacyUser

I'm not sure is it really about trusting people, more cautious I think.
Slow to feel comfortable around certain people and be myself. I'm very open with those close to me.

HalloweenJack

I wouldn't worry about it.

I'm the same around people I don't know that well. It takes me a while to relax and be myself. I'm just not terribly comfortable around people I don't know. Same as you, people have commented on my behaviour. However, that's the way I am and, for the most part, I don't feel like I'm missing out because of it.

At the end of the day, if you are comfortable with your beahviour, that's the most important thing.

listen_lady

As long as you're behaving in a way that feels natural to you and isn't hostile, I wouldn't worry about what people think.

Trying to change your personality and behaviour to accommodate other people's wishes never ends well. Believe me!

LegacyUser

Thank for your replies. I agree with your comments. It's who I am...but yes, I need to work on accepting that and not let others such as close friends highlight it as a negative thing...which they have, but my own fault for being sensitive to their comments.