Forging a mass card. Have I crossed the line?

3rdDegree

So, I was going to a funeral today and the wife said I should bring a mass card. I said, "Do people still actually believe in all that crap?". But she then discovered that although she had a mass card, it wasn't signed by a priest. I said, no bother, and proceeded to use my left hand to write something like "Fr. Tom Kennedy" into the priest's signature bit (didn't want it to look like my own handwriting).

My wife was absolutely horrified!

Now, she no more believes in God and the Amazing Adventures of Jesus, than I do. I mean she knows as well as I even if a priest said a mass for someone, it makes no difference to anything. And anyway, who's to say a priest wouldn't just sign it, take the money and never think of that poor dead person again, let a alone actually say a mass for them!

So I forged the name took the card to the funeral, left it in the basket beside the condolence book and no one is the wiser. My wife thinks what I did was terrible and isn't really talking to me, so I offered to drop a fiver into the poor box next time I'm passing the church (it wasn't the money issue for me, just that there is never a priest around when you want one), but she is still not happy. She just thinks I have deceived the folks I gave the card to and that it is terrible that there will never be a mass said for the dead guy. And no matter how many times I remind her that she doesn't believe on any of that stuff, she said that isn't the point.

I just don't get it. Have I really crossed the line here?

Edit: That's a bit long!
Summary: I forged a fictional priest's signature on a mass card and my wife thinks I'm evil. Is she right?

Sh1tbag OToole

What purpose is a mass card supposed to serve and why would you forge one?

Sorry not too well up on the whole Catholic thing

wazky

As long as you weren't at Fr. Tom Kennedy's funeral I don't see a problem.

hfallada

I honestly dont see the point of them. I seriously doubt the Father Murphy gives a sh1t about the dozen cards he signs every week. But I think its funny the reasons why people send them.I know a person who got a mass cards because their husband cheated on them and left them for another woman. WTF is a mass card going to do for a failed marriage?

Jack Sh1t, but they are in Fathers "prayers" and thats all that matters.

StewartGriffin

3rdDegree wrote: »

So, I was going to a funeral today and the wife said I should bring a mass card. I said, "Do people still actually believe in all that crap?". But she then discovered that although she had a mass card, it wasn't signed by a priest. I said, no bother, and proceeded to use my left hand to write something like "Fr. Tom Kennedy" into the priest's signature bit (didn't want it to look like my own handwriting).

My wife was absolutely horrified!

Now, she no more believes in God and the Amazing Adventures of Jesus, than I do. I mean she knows as well as I even if a priest said a mass for someone, it makes no difference to anything. And anyway, who's to say a priest wouldn't just sign it, take the money and never think of that poor dead person again, let a alone actually say a mass for them!

So I forged the name took the card to the funeral, left it in the basket beside the condolence book and no one is the wiser. My wife thinks what I did was terrible and isn't really talking to me, so I offered to drop a fiver into the poor box next time I'm passing the church (it wasn't the money issue for me, just that there is never a priest around when you want one), but she is still not happy. She just thinks I have deceived the folks I gave the card to and that it is terrible that there will never be a mass said for the dead guy. And no matter how many times I remind her that she doesn't believe on any of that stuff, she said that isn't the point.

I just don't get it. Have I really crossed the line here?

Edit: That's a bit long!
Summary: I forged a fictional priest's signature on a mass card and my wife thinks I'm evil. Is she right?

I would doff my hat to you. (If I had a hat, and if it was about a century ago). I nominate you for the status of Legend.
It gives me a warm fuzzy glow to see there are people like you walking among us.
Well done Sir.

lahalane

I like how you tried to disguise your handwriting in an attempt to prevent it from being tracked back to you

I'd say that if you want to send a mass card then you may as well do it right...but it hardly matters either. As long as Fr. Tom doesn't sue you for forgery

Eeden

3rdDegree wrote: »

My wife thinks what I did was terrible and isn't really talking to me

If you don't believe in it, just send a sympathy card. They're not that hard to find and I don't think anyone would be offended. Why would you bother forging a priest's signature?

Amirani

The magic won't work properly if you do that.

Dr Turk Turkelton

Six Hail Mary's and a Confeitior and all will be forgiven my son.

fro9etb8j5qsl2

Or you could end up in the slammer :O
http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/man-held-in-mass-card-forgery-case-25900074.html

Nabber

Don't care about your beliefs. Regardless of how right you think you are.


Once the signature looked ok, then there is no worries.

You should have signed it FR T Crilly

shruikan2553

I find them to be completely pointless. Paying to say a mass to a dead person is as much use as sacrificing a goat to the immortal god emperor.

Karl Stein

Organised religion is a racket.

War is a racket.

NuckingFacker

I don't care if you rot in hell for it, but I laughed at the thread title anyway.

Sunglasses Ron

Sh1tbag OToole wrote: »

What purpose is a mass card supposed to serve and why would you forge one?

Sorry not too well up on the whole Catholic thing

I can't recall either. Isn't a memorial mass organised by the family on the anniversary of one of them (at which other members are also mentioned)? Used to ****ing hate them, I always got nominated to do the reading every year.

Not to mention every year without fail the hard drinkin* but jolly old parish priest of 30 odd year standing would consistently pronounce my late aunt Mara's name as "Mariah". Annoyed the family to no end!

*: being forced to go to his mass wasn't all that bad. He used to be already half cut for some of the Saturday evening ones blathering off nonsense in the sermons, was great craic!

Vito Corleone

This is the best thing ever.

RobbingBandit

You should be ashamed of yourself OP...

My uncle is a Father Tom Kennedy, I will forgive your grave oversight if you make a sizeable donation to his parish in Lagos Nigeria.

drunkmonkey

How about we all take a minutes reflection for the poor dead guy and wish him well on the other side, surely 10 little prayers from us is worth one from Fr Tom.

apollo8

OP that was a rotten thing to do

lkionm

I'd say **** over a photo of Jesus to show him how much you really love him.


That should bring you back over the line.

ChunkyLover_53

shruikan2553 wrote: »

I find them to be completely pointless. Paying to say a mass to a dead person is as much use as sacrificing a goat to the immortal god emperor.

Heretic! The Emperor Protects!

DuckSlice

i laughed at this. i hope an old lady doesnt see it for your sake because as Fr. Ted said "they have a direct line" and they will know :O

General General

How much for 50 of these things?

calanus

Until 1 minute ago, i had no idea what a mass card was! I don't get it......

Amirani

I know a guy (who is since retired) that used to be a fairly prominent member of the Garda drug squad. He told me a story of this one incident where his unit spend an hour or so tracking some dodgy looking character who was taking money from people and they suspected was selling drugs. Eventually they went in and arrested him, and it turned out he was just selling mass cards.

LOTD

Your just feeling a bit of Catholic guilt, that's all

shruikan2553

ChunkyLover_53 wrote: »

Heretic! The Emperor Protects!

Not if your xeno/mass card forging scum.

fatherted1969

Send a mass card to your wife by way of an apology

Cee-Jay-Cee

Oh your so going to hell for that. Some poor soul is wandering around the inbetween/purgatory waitin on an aul mass that'll get them into heaven and it's not going to happen now. Your an evil bastard!

Sunglasses Ron

LOTD wrote: »

Your just feeling a bit of Catholic guilt, that's all

I thought that was only something Irish Americans in films and TV seem to suffer from

debabyjesus

The second coming is nigh, I shall leave my seat at the right hand of the Lord and come again in glory, to judge the living and the dead. (and the op)

mikom

3rdDegree wrote: »

Summary: I forged a fictional priest's signature on a mass card

"Second best priest".

ardle1

3rdDegree wrote: »

So, I was going to a funeral today and the wife said I should bring a mass card. I said, "Do people still actually believe in all that crap?". But she then discovered that although she had a mass card, it wasn't signed by a priest. I said, no bother, and proceeded to use my left hand to write something like "Fr. Tom Kennedy" into the priest's signature bit (didn't want it to look like my own handwriting).

My wife was absolutely horrified!

Now, she no more believes in God and the Amazing Adventures of Jesus, than I do. I mean she knows as well as I even if a priest said a mass for someone, it makes no difference to anything. And anyway, who's to say a priest wouldn't just sign it, take the money and never think of that poor dead person again, let a alone actually say a mass for them!

So I forged the name took the card to the funeral, left it in the basket beside the condolence book and no one is the wiser. My wife thinks what I did was terrible and isn't really talking to me, so I offered to drop a fiver into the poor box next time I'm passing the church (it wasn't the money issue for me, just that there is never a priest around when you want one), but she is still not happy. She just thinks I have deceived the folks I gave the card to and that it is terrible that there will never be a mass said for the dead guy. And no matter how many times I remind her that she doesn't believe on any of that stuff, she said that isn't the point.

I just don't get it. Have I really crossed the line here?

Edit: That's a bit long!
Summary: I forged a fictional priest's signature on a mass card and my wife thinks I'm evil. Is she right?

The more I think of it,the funnier it seems, when you said you forged a Mass Card, I thought you some how altered a Birthday card to look like a mass card. Now that would be funny:D In fact the more and more I think off it, your Missus is just getting mad because every time she thinks about it she laughs inside,and she's feeling really guilty lol

Sunglasses Ron

3rdDegree wrote: »

Summary: I forged a fictional priest's signature on a mass card and my wife thinks I'm evil. Is she right?

It wasn't Fr Michael O'Flatley at least

Vicxas

I don't see a problem.

Unless the family corner you and scream that this isn't a genuine 'FR Kennedy' card.

ardle1

lkionm wrote: »

I'd say **** over a photo of Jesus to show him how much you really love him.


That should bring you back over the line.

W T F

Caonima

Mass cards...

:rolleyes:

Redhenrun

I am assuming, when you signed the card, you signed on behalf of your wife also? In which case she is probably also as mad as all hell for having her name drawn in to your deceit.

Because,at the heart of the matter, regardless of any of our beliefs, lies deceit.

You set out to deceive the family of the deceased person.

In this case google is not your friend, for, should the family already know you, they might suspect that this is exactly the kind of stunt you might pull and wonder who Fr Tom is and why on earth you`d be up in his neck of the woods.

If you don`t believe in Mass cards, don`t send one. They are not required for attendance at Catholic funerals.

up for anything

In my opinion Martin Luther should have written his 95 Theses on a mass card and nailed that to the church door.

However, mass cards give comfort to some bereaved and are a way for the someone offering their condolences to show their genuine sympathy. I can understand on two levels why your wife is angry with you.

Firstly, you made a mockery of the whole thing - regardless of whether it deserves it or not.

Secondly, as someone mentioned is the deceit. For some people there is a line they would not like their partner to cross and when they cross that line it shows them in a new light and usually not a flattering one. Also, if you can cheat on something that means something to her and nothing to you, there may be other things that you will cheat on. For her it may have less to do with the religious and more to do with the moral aspect.

I'm a Liverpool fan and my cousin used to send me mass cards when Everton beat them.

There was no priest signature though, just a load of haha's

kfk

lkionm wrote: »

I'd say **** over a photo of Jesus to show him how much you really love him.


That should bring you back over the line.

Is that what you do to show your love for someone? Photos of your brothers and sisters must be wrecked! I hope you dont have children!

caustic 1

I'm sure your card was not the only mass card given, therefore there will be mass said for him anyhow, Unless they are all forged. :eek:

Slutmonkey57b

If the wife was so keen on mass cards, why didn't she get one and go to the funeral?

Nagging lazy bitch.

Kidchameleon

OP forget about the card, if your so against the whole Catholic thing, why did you go to the funeral?

Meangadh

I dunno why you or your wife felt you had to give a card in the first place. And even if you did, why you didn't just give a sympathy card, all card shops have them.

I never give cards to people unless I couldn't go to the funeral for whatever reason. I find it odd though that some people here are saying they never heard of mass cards.

Splendour

3rdDegree wrote: »

So, I was going to a funeral today and the wife said I should bring a mass card. I said, "Do people still actually believe in all that crap?". But she then discovered that although she had a mass card, it wasn't signed by a priest. I said, no bother, and proceeded to use my left hand to write something like "Fr. Tom Kennedy" into the priest's signature bit (didn't want it to look like my own handwriting).

My wife was absolutely horrified!

Now, she no more believes in God and the Amazing Adventures of Jesus, than I do. I mean she knows as well as I even if a priest said a mass for someone, it makes no difference to anything. And anyway, who's to say a priest wouldn't just sign it, take the money and never think of that poor dead person again, let a alone actually say a mass for them!



Edit:

Why would you bother sending a mass card (be it signed by a genuine priest or not) if you don't believe? I have more respect for people who ''believe in all that crap'' and go along with it than those who ''don't believe in all that crap'' and still go along with it.

JustAThought

I suppose it shows to your wife that you are prepared to cheat & lie to a family in their time of terrible distress & don't see that this is an issue.

It would make me wonder what kind of a man you really were & if you could do something like this & not see it as an issue, what else would you be prepared to do & lie about because " it didn't really matter". Moral values &how you treat people. Even if they don't know, you still did it to them. And don't have an issue with the lie & doing it .

nosedive

Yes you have crossed a line.........by starting yet another boring and pointless church bashing thread. You don't believe in Gd....you rebel! You da man!

I find it quite interesting that athesits have such a need to always broadcast their views and bash the church. You don't want anything to do with it so why not just leave it be? And more importantly respect the views of others.

Your forging a mass card to me, isn't a religious crime but an insult to the deceased whose funeral you attended. It all comes back to respect. You clearly went through the motions beacause that's what was expected and it meant nothing to you.

Go Atheists!

Absolutely disgraceful thing to do. Total and utter lack of respect.

CruelCoin

nosedive wrote: »

Your forging a mass card to me, isn't a religious crime but an insult to the deceased whose funeral you attended. It all comes back to respect. You clearly went through the motions because that's what was expected and it meant nothing to you.

Go Atheists!

Giving a mass card when you don't believe in it is akin to the bored looking customer service rep saying "sorry, sorry sorry" all day while not really giving a crap. It's hollow and meaningless.

I actually believe it to be disrespectful if you give a card and you don't care about it, as i appreciate genuine emotion.

OP, more respectful in my mind would have been to give nothing, rather than something fake.

Slutmonkey57b

nosedive wrote: »

I find it quite interesting that athesits have such a need to always broadcast their views and bash the church. You don't want anything to do with it so why not just leave it be? And more importantly respect the views of others.

This statement will make a lot more sense when the angelus isn't broadcast before the news.