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Forging a mass card. Have I crossed the line?

  • 28-09-2013 12:23AM
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,266 ✭✭✭3rdDegree


    So, I was going to a funeral today and the wife said I should bring a mass card. I said, "Do people still actually believe in all that crap?". But she then discovered that although she had a mass card, it wasn't signed by a priest. I said, no bother, and proceeded to use my left hand to write something like "Fr. Tom Kennedy" into the priest's signature bit (didn't want it to look like my own handwriting).

    My wife was absolutely horrified!

    Now, she no more believes in God and the Amazing Adventures of Jesus, than I do. I mean she knows as well as I even if a priest said a mass for someone, it makes no difference to anything. And anyway, who's to say a priest wouldn't just sign it, take the money and never think of that poor dead person again, let a alone actually say a mass for them!

    So I forged the name took the card to the funeral, left it in the basket beside the condolence book and no one is the wiser. My wife thinks what I did was terrible and isn't really talking to me, so I offered to drop a fiver into the poor box next time I'm passing the church (it wasn't the money issue for me, just that there is never a priest around when you want one), but she is still not happy. She just thinks I have deceived the folks I gave the card to and that it is terrible that there will never be a mass said for the dead guy. And no matter how many times I remind her that she doesn't believe on any of that stuff, she said that isn't the point.

    I just don't get it. Have I really crossed the line here?

    Edit: That's a bit long!
    Summary: I forged a fictional priest's signature on a mass card and my wife thinks I'm evil. Is she right?


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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,971 ✭✭✭Sh1tbag OToole


    What purpose is a mass card supposed to serve and why would you forge one?

    Sorry not too well up on the whole Catholic thing


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,516 ✭✭✭wazky


    As long as you weren't at Fr. Tom Kennedy's funeral I don't see a problem.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,179 ✭✭✭hfallada


    I honestly dont see the point of them. I seriously doubt the Father Murphy gives a sh1t about the dozen cards he signs every week. But I think its funny the reasons why people send them.I know a person who got a mass cards because their husband cheated on them and left them for another woman. WTF is a mass card going to do for a failed marriage?

    Jack Sh1t, but they are in Fathers "prayers" and thats all that matters.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,284 ✭✭✭StewartGriffin


    3rdDegree wrote: »
    So, I was going to a funeral today and the wife said I should bring a mass card. I said, "Do people still actually believe in all that crap?". But she then discovered that although she had a mass card, it wasn't signed by a priest. I said, no bother, and proceeded to use my left hand to write something like "Fr. Tom Kennedy" into the priest's signature bit (didn't want it to look like my own handwriting).

    My wife was absolutely horrified!

    Now, she no more believes in God and the Amazing Adventures of Jesus, than I do. I mean she knows as well as I even if a priest said a mass for someone, it makes no difference to anything. And anyway, who's to say a priest wouldn't just sign it, take the money and never think of that poor dead person again, let a alone actually say a mass for them!

    So I forged the name took the card to the funeral, left it in the basket beside the condolence book and no one is the wiser. My wife thinks what I did was terrible and isn't really talking to me, so I offered to drop a fiver into the poor box next time I'm passing the church (it wasn't the money issue for me, just that there is never a priest around when you want one), but she is still not happy. She just thinks I have deceived the folks I gave the card to and that it is terrible that there will never be a mass said for the dead guy. And no matter how many times I remind her that she doesn't believe on any of that stuff, she said that isn't the point.

    I just don't get it. Have I really crossed the line here?

    Edit: That's a bit long!
    Summary: I forged a fictional priest's signature on a mass card and my wife thinks I'm evil. Is she right?

    I would doff my hat to you. (If I had a hat, and if it was about a century ago). I nominate you for the status of Legend.
    It gives me a warm fuzzy glow to see there are people like you walking among us.
    Well done Sir.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 954 ✭✭✭lahalane


    I like how you tried to disguise your handwriting in an attempt to prevent it from being tracked back to you :D

    I'd say that if you want to send a mass card then you may as well do it right...but it hardly matters either. As long as Fr. Tom doesn't sue you for forgery :o


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,915 ✭✭✭✭Eeden


    3rdDegree wrote: »
    My wife thinks what I did was terrible and isn't really talking to me

    If you don't believe in it, just send a sympathy card. They're not that hard to find and I don't think anyone would be offended. Why would you bother forging a priest's signature?


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 12,563 Mod ✭✭✭✭Amirani


    The magic won't work properly if you do that.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,079 ✭✭✭Dr Turk Turkelton


    Six Hail Mary's and a Confeitior and all will be forgiven my son.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,391 ✭✭✭fro9etb8j5qsl2




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,855 ✭✭✭Nabber


    Don't care about your beliefs. Regardless of how right you think you are.


    Once the signature looked ok, then there is no worries.

    You should have signed it FR T Crilly


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,113 ✭✭✭shruikan2553


    I find them to be completely pointless. Paying to say a mass to a dead person is as much use as sacrificing a goat to the immortal god emperor.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,687 ✭✭✭Karl Stein


    Organised religion is a racket.

    War is a racket.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,221 ✭✭✭NuckingFacker


    I don't care if you rot in hell for it, but I laughed at the thread title anyway. :D


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,180 ✭✭✭Sunglasses Ron


    What purpose is a mass card supposed to serve and why would you forge one?

    Sorry not too well up on the whole Catholic thing

    I can't recall either. Isn't a memorial mass organised by the family on the anniversary of one of them (at which other members are also mentioned)? Used to ****ing hate them, I always got nominated to do the reading every year.

    Not to mention every year without fail the hard drinkin* but jolly old parish priest of 30 odd year standing would consistently pronounce my late aunt Mara's name as "Mariah". Annoyed the family to no end!

    *: being forced to go to his mass wasn't all that bad. He used to be already half cut for some of the Saturday evening ones blathering off nonsense in the sermons, was great craic!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,753 ✭✭✭Vito Corleone


    This is the best thing ever. :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,432 ✭✭✭✭RobbingBandit


    You should be ashamed of yourself OP...

    My uncle is a Father Tom Kennedy, I will forgive your grave oversight if you make a sizeable donation to his parish in Lagos Nigeria.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,198 ✭✭✭✭drunkmonkey


    How about we all take a minutes reflection for the poor dead guy and wish him well on the other side, surely 10 little prayers from us is worth one from Fr Tom.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 349 ✭✭apollo8


    OP that was a rotten thing to do


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,407 ✭✭✭lkionm


    I'd say **** over a photo of Jesus to show him how much you really love him.


    That should bring you back over the line.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 901 ✭✭✭ChunkyLover_53


    I find them to be completely pointless. Paying to say a mass to a dead person is as much use as sacrificing a goat to the immortal god emperor.


    Heretic! The Emperor Protects!


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,892 ✭✭✭DuckSlice


    i laughed at this. i hope an old lady doesnt see it for your sake because as Fr. Ted said "they have a direct line" and they will know :O


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,900 ✭✭✭General General


    How much for 50 of these things?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 271 ✭✭calanus


    Until 1 minute ago, i had no idea what a mass card was! I don't get it......


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 12,563 Mod ✭✭✭✭Amirani


    I know a guy (who is since retired) that used to be a fairly prominent member of the Garda drug squad. He told me a story of this one incident where his unit spend an hour or so tracking some dodgy looking character who was taking money from people and they suspected was selling drugs. Eventually they went in and arrested him, and it turned out he was just selling mass cards.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 296 ✭✭LOTD


    Your just feeling a bit of Catholic guilt, that's all :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,113 ✭✭✭shruikan2553


    Heretic! The Emperor Protects!

    Not if your xeno/mass card forging scum.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,468 ✭✭✭fatherted1969


    Send a mass card to your wife by way of an apology


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,234 ✭✭✭✭Cee-Jay-Cee


    Oh your so going to hell for that. Some poor soul is wandering around the inbetween/purgatory waitin on an aul mass that'll get them into heaven and it's not going to happen now. Your an evil bastard!


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,180 ✭✭✭Sunglasses Ron


    LOTD wrote: »
    Your just feeling a bit of Catholic guilt, that's all :D

    I thought that was only something Irish Americans in films and TV seem to suffer from :)


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 774 ✭✭✭debabyjesus


    The second coming is nigh, I shall leave my seat at the right hand of the Lord and come again in glory, to judge the living and the dead. (and the op)


This discussion has been closed.
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