Should I go out or stay in? Need adcive fast.

cokeand12

I am a lad in my twenties and I live at home at the moment due to family issues. I have no problem with this but my social life has suffered a little because I rarely get to go out with my friends.
I am gay and came out a couple of years ago and I am happy. Before I came out I used always go to a pub for a few pints before heading to a club with my friends mainly from school. This was the ideal night out for me.
I made a lot of female friends in college due to the course I was doing. I was popular because their was only a few guys. I used often go out with these people to but it was mainly straight to a night club but I still had a good enough time.
I came out a bout 2 years ago and most people took it okay.
My school friends took it well. We had the odd joke about it and that was it. Nothing changed and nights out were still the same.
When I came out to my college friends they sort of changed and made me their gay best friend. For instance if we went on a night out they insist on going to a gay bar to get me the ride/shift. I went along with this the first time but I told them it wasn't for me. This however continues in straight club there always telling every lad that they think might be gay that I am and will he shift me. I have asked to stop this on loads of occasions. They will always make big deal of me when they are drunk and they will get to carry their handbags because I am gay.
It came to a point where I did my best to avoid going on a night out with them.
Due to a few reasons I haven't being on a night out since last November. However both groups of friends have often asked me out. I had to declined because of issues at home.
My school friends are after asking me out to our local city for Arthur's day and I want to go. We will probably head to one of the main club in the city. I know that I will probably run into my college friends here and they will act the same. I am not ashamed of being gay but I hate people making me out to be less of a man.
If I go and don't tell my college friends I am going out. I will run into them and they will make a big deal of me and I will have an awful night.
If I go and tell them they will just make the entire night a misery for me.
Is there anything I can do?
I know people will say cut out the college friends but this is kind of a hard thing to do because the people can't see that there bothering me no matter how many times I ask them to stop.

I know this is after hours and I will get some unhelpful answers but I need to make my mind up by tomorrow afternoon.

Kylo Ren

Yes.

username_x

Blast them with p1ss. That'll learn em.

username_x

No but really, go out. Stand up for yourself. Tell them they have bad taste in blokes and half the ones they pick out for you you wouldn't ride if they had pedals. Then make a smart comment about the munters they've found themselves with on nights out. As for the handbag thing, just tell them that you're not gay enough to carry a handbag of your own so they can get fcuked if they think you're gonna carry theres.

If that fails though, most definitely blast them with p1ss.

KwackerJack

Tell them out straight to stop or piss off!

Sounds harsh but well that's life and its your life so for your own mental state set them straight!

Itwasntme.

Dude, you are going to get shafted in the butt in AH (sorry, I tried to stop myself but the evil (being that I am a woman and we are evil) came rushing out of me). Personal issues is under the soc. Good luck.

Thoie

Go to bed, sleep on it, then tomorrow (before anyone starts drinking), tell your friends that you're thrilled they're not homophobic, but that as you're not 14 they need to stop walking up to strangers asking "will you shift my friend". Ask them if they're doing it because secretly they're lonely, and would like you to try hook them up with random strangers.

Go out with your school friends, and if you run into the college crowd and aren't in the mood for them, just make some small talk then suggest coffee in a few days time and head back to the first bunch. But go to bed now anyway.

Jimoslimos

cokeand12 wrote: »

For instance if we went on a night out they insist on going to a gay bar to get me the ride/shift. I went along with this the first time but I told them it wasn't for me. This however continues in straight club there always telling every lad that they think might be gay that I am and will he shift me. I have asked to stop this on loads of occasions. They will always make big deal of me when they are drunk and they will get to carry their handbags because I am gay.

cokeand12. Is 12 your age? I don't think I've heard anyone older using "shift" in this context.

lkionm

Oh great. I have a gay friend.


Ye should shift

efb

Tell them this isn't SATC and you'll get your own guys. Don't be a trophy for them. Check out gay social sites online where you can make gay friends if you want to socialise on the gay scene without feeling like a novelty

Amirani

Jimoslimos wrote: »

cokeand12. Is 12 your age? I don't think I've heard anyone older using "shift" in this context.

It's unfortunately more common than you realise. All the country folk are infesting our great city of Dublin with their lingo. Snogging is dying out. Long live osculation!

dodderangler

NiallSparky wrote: »

. Snogging is dying out. Long live osculation!

It was never snogging in Dublin well not were I am
It was always Meeting

Amirani

dodderangler wrote: »

It was never snogging in Dublin well not were I am
It was always Meeting

I'd almost forgotten about that. Nobody says that anymore, it used to be everywhere.

"Heer yu, wil yu meet hur? "

Splendour

Why don't? you ask your friends to go here http://www.thegeorge.ie/whatson/thursday to celebrate Arthurs day.
Failing that, stay at home as it's a pile of s***e anyway...

pharmaton

go out, get drunk, wallow in the drama.

Tangatagamadda Chaddabinga Bonga Bungo

NiallSparky wrote: »

It's unfortunately more common than you realise. All the country folk are infesting our great city of Dublin with their lingo. Snogging is dying out. Long live osculation!

Snogging is an English (West Brit?:o) way of saying it my Dublin friend. I only ever hear people say mawl, shift, score or meet.

Someday I hope to be able to boast about getting an actual kiss.

loubeelou

Not to patronise here but you sound quite young OP . If so, your mates may be new to the whole gay friend thing and are just being overly helpful. Just tell them to calm the fcuk down and things should be fine.

confuseddotcom

Go out with first bunch, if ya happen to bump into second bunch just exchange quick hellos and say you're out with your old friends from school for the night and will catch up with college gang another time.



Are ya feekin' her was another....



Slightly o.t. but is anyone else tryin' to pronounce tangy's name at this moment?!?

lkionm

loubeelou wrote: »

Not to patronise here but you sound quite young OP . If so, your mates may be new to the whole gay friend thing and are just being overly helpful. Just tell them to calm the fcuk down and things should be fine.

Shift them all and they won't bother you as well.
Slip the finger to make sure

ardle1

cokeand12 wrote: »

I am a lad in my twenties and I live at home at the moment due to family issues. I have no problem with this but my social life has suffered a little because I rarely get to go out with my friends.
I am gay and came out a couple of years ago and I am happy. Before I came out I used always go to a pub for a few pints before heading to a club with my friends mainly from school. This was the ideal night out for me.
I made a lot of female friends in college due to the course I was doing. I was popular because their was only a few guys. I used often go out with these people to but it was mainly straight to a night club but I still had a good enough time.
I came out a bout 2 years ago and most people took it okay.
My school friends took it well. We had the odd joke about it and that was it. Nothing changed and nights out were still the same.
When I came out to my college friends they sort of changed and made me their gay best friend. For instance if we went on a night out they insist on going to a gay bar to get me the ride/shift. I went along with this the first time but I told them it wasn't for me. This however continues in straight club there always telling every lad that they think might be gay that I am and will he shift me. I have asked to stop this on loads of occasions. They will always make big deal of me when they are drunk and they will get to carry their handbags because I am gay.
It came to a point where I did my best to avoid going on a night out with them.
Due to a few reasons I haven't being on a night out since last November. However both groups of friends have often asked me out. I had to declined because of issues at home.
My school friends are after asking me out to our local city for Arthur's day and I want to go. We will probably head to one of the main club in the city. I know that I will probably run into my college friends here and they will act the same. I am not ashamed of being gay but I hate people making me out to be less of a man.
If I go and don't tell my college friends I am going out. I will run into them and they will make a big deal of me and I will have an awful night.
If I go and tell them they will just make the entire night a misery for me.
Is there anything I can do?
I know people will say cut out the college friends but this is kind of a hard thing to do because the people can't see that there bothering me no matter how many times I ask them to stop.

I know this is after hours and I will get some unhelpful answers but I need to make my mind up by tomorrow afternoon.

I see that type of behaviour a lot in my job(taxi man) and to be honest I kinda feel sorry for you, it seems a lot of women girls seem to over compensate when they have their gay friend with them, I don't think they do it in a mean way, but it does seem to aggravate and somewhat embarrass the eh 'victim' of all this attention. Just go out, and if you meet your over friendly friends and they seem to be coming on too strong, I suggest a few dirty looks will sort them out. Toughen up, practise that 'Dirty Look' in the mirror:cool:

cokeand12

I am nearly 24. I wrote the post because I just wanted to get it down their and didn't pay much attention to the English I was using!

whirlpool

cokeand12 wrote: »

I am nearly 24. I wrote the post because I just wanted to get it down their and didn't pay much attention to the English I was using!

All the responses you got, and the time and effort that some people put in to responding to you, and THAT's all you have to say? Lol.

whirlpool

P.S. When you think about it, your choice is either: Yes, go out, or Never go out again. So, like........ ye know.

freshpopcorn

whirlpool wrote: »

All the responses you got, and the time and effort that some people put in to responding to you, and THAT's all you have to say? Lol.

I think the OP may be a bit distressed at the moment and he needs advice. This isn't one bit helpful to him.
I would suggest you go out with your school friends and try and enjoy the night. Try and keep an eye out for your college friends and avoid them if you can. If you do bump into them just say say Hi, How are you getting on? Then say you need to use the toilet or your looking for somebody!

Ruu

Don't like these type pot threads, you respond with your best advice and then the OP just uses and abuses. Good day to you, sir!

Jimoslimos

cokeand12 wrote: »

I am nearly 24...

So 23 then.

Most people in their 20s don't use the clause "nearly" to describe their age.

cokeand12

Thanks for the advice. What the taxi driver said is exactly how I feel when I am on a night out with them.
I said nearly 24 because I will be 24 on Sunday!

BillyMitchel

Some women seem to love hanging out with gay men, no idea why though. If a girl asks you to carry her bag drop it on the ground and tell her to carry it herself. Be hard and firm (cough cough)

Go out with who ever you are comfortable most with, which seems to be your school friends. I bet you a euro that after 1 or 10 you'll forget about the other group and will have a great night and all this worrying will of been for nothing. Sure you don't even know for certain if you'll see them out.

You seem a bit stressed over a few things so enjoy a gargle and relax.

That will be €200 please.

Have fun