Friend acting weirdly

LegacyUser

A while ago I met a lovely man and had a brief 'thing' with him, we got on really well but he wasn't long out of a long term relationship and not ready for a new one so we ended it amicably, he wanted to be friends as we got on extremely well and even though I had misgivings I agreed.
So a few weeks later he told me he wasn't feeling great and was being treated for depression and was seeing a psychiatrist, over the next few weeks/months he talked to me about his issues and what had caused the mental breakdown.

Then a few weeks ago out of the blue he decided he didn't want to talk about his stuff anymore-to be honest I was thankful as it had caused rows and I really didn't like hearing so much.....but he kept bringing it up! Even simple conversations about Facebook he would bring his issues into!
The worst thing was that when he did that I would think he wanted to talk and respond and then he'd start shouting at me about how he didn't want to discuss it?? After bringing it up??
The most recent thing is that he lied to me outright. I can't go into detail without giving too much info but basically when I found out and asked him about it he turned and attacked me.
He said that he was dealing with his issues with doctors and didn't want to discuss it.
I tried to explain that this was about him lying to me but he became quite aggressive and kept saying it was his personal business and didn't want to discuss it.

So basically at this point he can do and say anything he wants and if I say anything at all he says its his personal problems and he doesn't want to talk about it.
If I try and explain he puts the phone down.

I feel wrong to walk away from someone clearly in pain but at this point I don't know which way is up anymore!!!

Sorry for the long post. Any advice on what to do?

Merkin

And your friends with this person because....?

heretochat

Simple answer is to walk away.. I can't see why this is an issue for you really..

LegacyUser

Op here-

Wow good question.
I suppose there was a time we got on really really well but the more I think about it now I can't remember the last time.

I suppose I feel it's wrong to walk away from someone in pain, the depression and issues will eventually be dealt with and he'll be the man I met....but I think this constant problem is strangling our friendship.

ManOfMystery

You don't owe him anything, and any sense of (perhaps misguided) loyalty or guilt can be quickly wiped out thanks to his completely irrational and egocentric behaviour. Walk away!

LegacyUser

icantcope wrote: »

I feel wrong to walk away from someone clearly in pain but at this point I don't know which way is up anymore!!!

Yes, it does feel wrong to walk away, for sure, I can understand that you may feel a certain amount of guilt for abonding that person as many more may have done, but, the trusth is you dont seem able to deal with this behaviour of his and ultimately it'll result in you being dragged down with him!!

I dont wish to sound mean, but, its what'll happen and its what a good friend told me at a stage in my life where I was close to someone whom suffered from depression. I didnt actually realise how much of a mental toll her mood swings, outbursts and downers where having on me until I stood back and created a distance as it was getting to much for me. I just wasnt able for it; things she did or said, although not 'intentionally' or meaning to cause hurt where said in an effort for her to push me away, as I believe this is what the condition does, it makes you force people away from you. I was too invested and couldnt walk away, believing I could help, and, maybe I did in some small part just by being persistent, I rode it out and we stayed close, but, looking back, for all the heart and head ache, worry and stress that I brought on myself I dont know if I'd do it again!

You do have to think of your OWN mental health too!