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When to tell someone you have suffered from depression?

  • 20-09-2013 3:15pm
    #1
    alias06
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 298 ✭✭


    Hi guys, I have a question. I suffered from depression in the past. It was a real problem and I had to get help and get it sorted out. I'm fine now and have a good job and my life sorted. I was recently dating a girl for two months and things didn't work out as she didn't feel as strongly for me as I did for her. So that's fine.

    The thing is I never told her I had suffered from depression. We weren't going out long enough. But I was quite worried about it. When should you tell someone? I felt I was lying to her by not telling her. If someone told you after you had been dating a few months how would you feel?


Comments

  • #2
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    Honestly? You don't need to tell anyone. If it actually comes up in conversation, then you might think it worth mentioning, but otherwise, of course you're not lying to anyone and you're under no obligation to disclose the fact that at one point in your life you suffered from depression.


  • #3
    alias06
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 298 ✭✭alias06


    Czarcasm wrote: »
    Honestly? You don't need to tell anyone. If it actually comes up in conversation, then you might think it worth mentioning, but otherwise, of course you're not lying to anyone and you're under no obligation to disclose the fact that at one point in your life you suffered from depression.

    Thanks. That's kind of what I thought. I feel its in the past. I dealt with it. Of course I still have the odd bad day. But I didn't want to potentially sabotage the relationship by bringing it up so early on.


  • #4
    December2012
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,695 ✭✭✭December2012


    If it's in the past then there is no "need" at all to bring it up.

    If you are bringing it up, it should come up organically as other past events should.

    I would equate it to this "ah my leg is sore, it sometimes bothers me and needs a bit of rest ever since I broke it playing rugby at 18".


  • #5
    araic88
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 313 ✭✭araic88


    Sorry to hijack your thread OP but I have the very same question! I had one bout of depression about 3 years ago but it was pretty bad at the time. Iv felt totally fine ever since but that's likely because iv been on medication and still have to visit a psychiatrist 2-3 times a year. I was seeing a guy for a few months last year. I told him about & he seemed to take it well, things fizzled out for other reasons (or so I think!) im now seeing someone but feel unsure about bringing it up!


  • #6
    judgefudge
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 915 ✭✭✭judgefudge


    My current partner had depression a few years ago before I met him. He told me about it quite early in our relationship. Although I can't pinpoint when exactly. I think if it naturally comes up in conversation you shouldn't be afraid to talk about it. It's nothing to be ashamed of after all. At the same time I wouldn't make a big deal of building yourself up to sit someone down and tell them.

    You had a hard time and got past it. It's not something you need to disclose unless you feel like you want to.


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