How does one meet people

Moomoo1

Was going to write a much longer post, but that got a bit out of hand. Maybe save it for later.

Basically in a situation where we (family of three) moved to a new place (Scotland) a couple of years ago and I know no one at all - beyond the handful of people in the small business I work at and, ofc, my wife and daughter. The people we knew from before gradually fell away, as they do. Both of us have full-time jobs and are terrible at socialising: but whilst the OH is seemingly happy with this state of things (never makes an effort to get to know other mums at the nursery, isn't overly keen to socialise with coworkers with families etc), it's driving _me_ crazy. (Much of my longer post was about _how_ crazy, but actually I am not sure that is relevant.)

As a result, I go online, on forums, play games (indeed, I found this forum through them) to get at least the little level of interaction that brings. That rarely makes me happy, and so I end up ignoring my family and staying up late, so this in turn affects both my relationship with them and my job. I need to somehow replace/supplement 'virtual' interaction with real, but how do I do it? I was always terrible at socialising and interacting with people, even when I had the time.

So how do you meet interesting people when everyone already has their own busy lives and when you have a partner with little to no interest in doing so?

Starokan

The best thing to do is to engage with people a little more, even normal social contact can alleviate the way your feeling a little bit, so start by chatting to everyone you meet (shops, garages, etc), it gets you a little better at socialising all the time.

The real goal for you is to make new friends, that can take time but only by interacting with people will this occur , seeing as your online look for meet up groups in the area, join a club that you would have an interest in, go for a pint on your own in the local and chat to barperson, you will get to know the regulars in no time.

Moomoo1

Starokan wrote: »

The best thing to do is to engage with people a little more, even normal social contact can alleviate the way your feeling a little bit, so start by chatting to everyone you meet (shops, garages, etc), it gets you a little better at socialising all the time.

The real goal for you is to make new friends, that can take time but only by interacting with people will this occur , seeing as your online look for meet up groups in the area, join a club that you would have an interest in, go for a pint on your own in the local and chat to barperson, you will get to know the regulars in no time.

thanks.

I really cannot imagine how I could chat with people in pubs, shops and so on - I just don't know how to make small talk, what to say, never did, and with age it hasn't seemed to improve much.

as for clubs and meetup groups, I'll have a look. I had joined a few of those at university, but there it seemed a lot less daunting, which is what going to meet a group of total strangers seems to be. The only other problem I guess is finding the time...