Am I doing the right thing?

hollster2

Hi all! Long story short my ex partner and I have been together 12 years 3 beautiful childrem 7,4 and 14 mths.

Weve had a good relationship but hes been violent not physically but would break things when he would get in a bad mood and shout, he also would drink alot do drugs never come home for the whole weekend and leave me without money for out kids, there were good times no denying that!

Only up until last august he met an old friend, he started spending alot of time with him. He was really distant drink alot abusive and losing weight.

I found this guy was using prescription drugs and my partner started he said he was fed up with no money etc recession. I tried to get him help but i felt like places were turning him away.

So we moved away from were he met these guys and he was doing ok he kept getting tablets off doctor. My parents lived just down the road and helped alot. He started self harming so I got him into a hospital and told them I was afraif for my safety and my kids but they sent him home!

That night he arrived to my parents were i decided to stay drunk and started on my dad. As quick as that i reacted and grabbed my dad inside and shut the door. He then proceeded to smash up there house cars while his children were screaming upstairs!

He got arrested let out cause he taking so much drugs. Now five months on hes clean the person ive asked him to be for years.

I tried to work it out but cant get over this myself and kids are now living with my parents. Im so happy which I havent for years. Now hes sees kids in parents all over summer I brought them up.

Now there back to school he moaning I wont let him see them. Id never do thst do his solution parttime dad no dad at all. He doesnt give me a penny.

Now hes said laughing on phone hes taking me to court for accses, im practically beghing him to take them, and also my book will be cut and given to him the days he has kids, how is this right and he gives me nothing.

Am I right finishing I just cant take that risk for myself and kids again im terrified, yet i feel guilty for splitting up family!

Czarcasm

hollster2 wrote: »

Am I right finishing I just cant take that risk for myself and kids again im terrified, yet i feel guilty for splitting up family!

You're absolutely right finishing OP. It might SOUND easier in the short term to give in to him and get back together and play "happy families" on his terms again, but that's only going to make HIM happy, while the rest of you are miserable.

You should call Women's Aid who would be better able to advise you on your current situation re maintenance and the access legalities, and there's a Separation & Divorce forum here on Boards that's full of useful information -


http://touch.boards.ie/forum/1533


You're not the cause of splitting up the family at all, your abusive thug of an ex-husband did that long ago when he put his own need to get off his face above yours and your children's needs.

Lisha

Hollster2

Czarcasm has given you excellent advice

Not much to add but just wanted to say 'well done you for being so strong ' and for taking the steps for making a better life for you and your kids .

It brilliant that you have your family to help you

Look after yourself and stay strong

It will be worth it in the long run

maria34

You have done the right thing! I know you are blaming yourself for breaking up the family, i was the same long time ago! But its not you, he did do that!

Womens aid is really helpful. Also you need councelling too, it would help you sooooooo much!

Please dont think to go back, think of your poor kids.

hollster2

Thank you all for your replys ill have too see into councelling ive gone before and it helped alot, I know alot of what hes saying to me is lies and playing mind games! My kids are so happy now even though they miss him and get upset when they leave him I know theyve a better life now.