Childhood Rules

Childhood was a time of much complex rules and regulations to keep order. What childhood rules do you remember?

One I recall was the next goal wins when playing soccer.

No matter the score, after sometimes hours of playing, the next goal wins.

Doyler92

The fat kid was always the goalkeeper.

lkionm

Never tell mommy what me and uncle did

L1011

Doyler92 wrote: »

The fat kid was always the goalkeeper.

That explains a lot about my goalkeeping career

Doyler92

MYOB wrote: »

That explains a lot about my goalkeeping career

I'm sorry that this is the way you had to find out.

Frosty McSnowballs

No matter what you did, you were gay.

Vito Corleone

When playing football, instead of the offside rule there was "no goal hanging". One of the worst things was if you got a reputation for being a "goal hanger".

Frosty McSnowballs

Vito Corleone wrote: »

When playing football, instead of the offside rule there was "no goal hanging". One of the worst things was if you got a reputation for being a "goal hanger".

We called that "lodging"

Oh, and no toe bogging the ball!

FloatingVoter

Goal doesn't count 'cos- "you toed the ball"....

Damn ****ing right I did - thats why you were on your arse at the back of the net holding the ball lookin' like an eejit.

And I fell for it. There endeth my career in penalty taking.

Antar Bolaeisk

I before E except after C.

At no stage have I ever used it.

Muise...

3 SECONDS!

(yummy)

FloatingVoter

Antar Bolaeisk wrote: »

I before E except after C.

At no stage have I ever used it.

But sir, sir ...wha' abou' de CIE ?

Outside the door, now.

Walshey96

Whoever owned the football decided who played and decided the game was over when they had to go in

Senor Fancy Pants

Senor Fancy Pants wrote: »

No matter what you did, you were gay.

Ha, that's right!

One had to tread a very fine line to avoid the gay label.

Once it was decided somebody was gay, they were shunned by the general population.

Tax!

anncoates

No hatching - especially if there was a fly goalie.

Vicar in a tutu

The last person to touch the little yellow H sign (Hydrant) was a homosexual.

anncoates

Senor Fancy Pants wrote: »

No matter what you did, you were gay.

I was brought up in the 80s.

Gay had not been invented in Ireland then.

u_c_thesecond

dont be a "rat"

even if u were frigid you had to play kiss chase (ha)

if the owner of the garden didnt like you ya wernt allowed in you had to stay outside while being taunted over it

Muise...

anncoates wrote: »

I was brought up in the 80s.

Gay had not been invented in Ireland then.

oh, but virgins had.

"Are you a virgin?"
"em, no." [no clue what the word means]
"YOU'RE A HOOR!" [runs around playground singing "Muise's a hoor!"

ah, the days.

the groutch

Senor Fancy Pants wrote: »

We called that "lodging"

I used to call it Robbie Fowler-ing

Tigger

last man back
also homo on the loose

MadsL

People and objects could be infected with a thing called "the mang". It was your duty on discovering a person or object with "the mang" to inform anyone withing earshot of that fact. Anyone subsequently touching said person or object now also had "the mang" and a similar announcement was required.

There was no cure.

I lost many classmates to "the mang" *sniff*

Sunglasses Ron

cisk wrote: »

Tax!

I'm not sure if we are on the same wavelength but for some reason we used to say "aaah, taxi" to announce one had taken a good fart.

Every street or estate had one house occupied by an old man or woman with a reputation for killing, or eating, or whatever kids. My locale did, my cousins street did, every far away place you visited and played with the locals in did. Today I kind of feel sorry for any lonely old ****er who earns this rep in all truth.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Apparently, having a girlfriend at the age of nine made me gay. (Child logic)

PS - despite the login, I'm not, repeat not a homosexual. I may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but I am *not* a porn star.

Mickey H

Muise... wrote: »

3 SECONDS!

(yummy)

What?

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Mickey H wrote: »

What?

Three secodn rule. If it falls on the floor and the cat is more than three seconds away, it's yours.

Vicar in a tutu

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

Three secodn rule. If it falls on the floor and the cat is more than three seconds away, it's yours.

FIVE second rule...

o1s1n

Any white stains were automatically 'Jip'. God help you if you had any kind of stain on your clothes, you'd be 'jip stain!' for the next week.

Vicar in a tutu

o1s1n wrote: »

Any white stains were automatically 'Jip'. God help you if you had any kind of stain on your clothes, you'd be 'jip stain!' for the next week.

Oh my god I haven't heard the word jip for years! it was always the slightly older bold boys that knew what it was!

C14N

Front-seat-back-seat, which in retrospect was a horrible rule. Basically, when standing in a line, it was always acceptable to let someone skip ahead of you. The rule meant that you agreed to let the person skip ahead of you on the condition that you could then skip ahead of them so the end result was "you can stand behind me in the line" which screwed over everyone else who was further behind.

Another one: Fake punch, followed by "two for flinching".

mfceiling

Eeny meeny miney mo, catch a ni**er by the toe, if he squeals let him go, eeny meeny miney mo...

PickledLime

Whenever you played football out on the street, if walls were used as goals, then one side was always a completely different size (and shape) to the other one.

In cases where it was just jumpers thrown on the ground for goals, the goals were as high as what your keeper could comfortably reach.

Guill

Sharing lives in Mario - but that one doesn't count

Snooze you lose

I called it

No Bigtoes

Last.man back

No hatching

I'm Lee Sharp

Are you a queer tied to a post?

Turtyturd

Kickers Fetchers.

Throwing it over a car in paths wins the game.

Also pity all the kids whose unknowing parents brought them to get their right ear pierced thus infecting them with the gay.

DEFTLEFTHAND

salonfire wrote: »

Ha, that's right!

One had to tread a very fine line to avoid the gay label.

Once it was decided somebody was gay, they were shunned by the general population.

A bender as they called it in my neck of the woods. When I played hurling as a kid there often wasn't enough room on the dressing room benches for everyone. Some people would end up sitting on other lads laps when the coach started bellowing. That was cause for bender remarks for at least a month.

PickledLime

PE wasn't about sports, it was dress up day.

X-Works Jeans were cool at my school until someone got tangled in a climbing frame during PE and got them banned :pac:

The Pheasant2

Speak in unison with someone = JINX!

Can't speak until the jinxer says the jinxee's name 3 times and if the jinxee speaks before that, everyone in the class gets to pinch them

bumper234

Benji


The fcukin smell of Benji off ya!!!!

The Pheasant2

If you went over to someones house to play video games, they got to be player 1

PickledLime

The Pheasant2 wrote: »

Speak in unison with someone = JINX!

Can't speak until the jinxer says the jinxee's name 3 times and if the jinxee speaks before that, everyone in the class gets to pinch them

This reminds me of (deciding some random kid has a nasty disease that they can pass on by simply brushing their hand against you):

"shields all over for life - even without hands!".

Still don't get the logistics of that one

Turtyturd

Any of your core group of friends seen playing with anyone else would be a 'snivel' or 'snivelling off'.

tdonegan1990

"Last 1 to tip the can is on"!

NinjaTruncs

See a Yellow reg car and you punch the closet person to you on the upper arm

mikemac1

Every few months a story would go around that a man in a white van is snatching kids. So we'd be watching and you don't walk home from GAA training on your own.

I don't know why the van was always white. You'd think he'd switch once in a while.

Tbh this story still does the rounds. I've seen it on boards.ie and on journal.ie

Vito Corleone wrote: »

One of the worst things was if you got a reputation for being a "goal hanger".

We jeered them and called them Schillaci

guttenberg

NinjaTruncs wrote: »

See a Yellow reg car and you punch the closet person to you on the upper arm

In addition to this we had Break My Audi. If you saw an Audi, you'd make a circle with finger and thumb, shout "break my audi" and if they didn't break the circle with their finger and thumb quick enough you get to punch them. My childhood seems very violent in retrospect:D

crazygeryy

last one up on the penny farthing gets no toffee apple.

Brian2208

If your hand was bigger than your face you had cancer

fathead82

Picking who was the seeker in hide & seek using "ip dip dog sh1t,fuc*ing bastard silly git you are not it",while everyone was lined up against the wall.

mud

fathead82 wrote: »

Picking who was the seeker in hide & seek using "ip dip dog sh1t,fuc*ing bastard silly git you are not it",while everyone was lined up against the wall.

We used: "Icky ocky, horse's cocky, icky ocky OUT"!

Brego888

NinjaTruncs wrote: »

See a Yellow reg car and you punch the closet person to you on the upper arm

Our version of this was when you saw a lada, and then later when ladas were nowhere to be seen it switched to ford ka's.

Once going home from a football match the team bus passed a Ford garage and all hell broke loose forcing the driver to pull over and sort out the riot.

Ah the memories...