Grandparents as carers

handtight

Not sure if this is the right forum so please feel free to move....

Myself and wife are court appointed carers of grandson now in primary schiool. Daughter had split from partner also had major personal issues so kid was about to be taken into care and we stepped in. She's now abroad and very little contact in recent years. Dad lives in Dublin and has applied to Court a number of times for access. These applications failed when he didn't show up for hearings. He has now applied again which is causing us much stress.

My question relates to the possibility of getting a maintenance order against this guy. We are faced with covering all expenses relating to our grandson while Dad (and daughter) live dissolute lives and don't accept any financial reponsibility.

I'm not seeking legal advise but would really appreciate feedback from others with similar experience.

Neyite

OP we have a parenting forum on boards that I can move your post to if you like?

We cant give legal advice, but others are welcome to share similar experiences.

handtight

Neyite, Thanks for response, if you think it's more relevant happy to move thread to parenting forum

LegacyUser

I'm afraid I can't offer any advice from a personal experience point of view, but it seems a bit rich if this guy has initiated court proceedings (more than once, from your posts), but won't pay anything toward the upkeep of his child. Surely that demonstrates a lack of interest in the child's welfare? Even if he is on social welfare, he should pay something regularly.

Big Bag of Chips

Are you officially foster parents to the child? If so you should be in receipt of an allowance.

I'm not sure what the position is if you are foster carers. I've never heard of foster parents receiving maintenance from the parents.

Maybe contact the HSE and see what your options are.

I take it you are at least getting the Child Benefit. If not, you should be. Does your daughter offer any financial assistance?

You may well be able to apply to court for maintenance, but even if it's granted, it doesn't mean he'll pay. Ring the court clerk anyway, and tell them you want a maintenance hearing on the same day as the access hearing.

But in the meantime, find out all you can from the HSE.

mashedbanana

court appointed carers, does that mean ye have full custody, and guardianship?

Is that dad any good? Is he a bad egg? i dunno, but personally, I'd be thankful that the child hasn't been taken into care, that family can take care of him. Receiving money from him might leave the door open to him actually having access to the child. i gotta ask, would that REALLY be in the childs best interest?

Before I get jumped on for that comment, there are occasions when it is actually better the a child has no association with his parents.

op, you should be entitled to some form of social welfare for the upkeep of the the child. Child benefit etc.

desbrook

mashedbanana wrote: »

court appointed carers, does that mean ye have full custody, and guardianship?

Is that dad any good? Is he a bad egg? i dunno, but personally, I'd be thankful that the child hasn't been taken into care, that family can take care of him. Receiving money from him might leave the door open to him actually having access to the child. i gotta ask, would that REALLY be in the childs best interest?

Before I get jumped on for that comment, there are occasions when it is actually better the a child has no association with his parents.

op, you should be entitled to some form of social welfare for the upkeep of the the child. Child benefit etc.

Access and maintanance are two separate issues and the courts treat them as such . Any attempt to link them e.g. "I'll pay more if I get to see little Tommy more" or "I won't ask to see little Tommy if you don't ask for money " are totally frowned upon . Parents have responsibility to maintain their children even if no access is granted or sought .

Big Bag of Chips

They are 2 seperate issues, but can be dealt with at the same hearing.

A judge will not link the two, and as mentioned will probably not look favourably on someone who tries.

But you are better to go equipped with everything you want sorted on the one day, rather than repeatedly going back for every individual issue.

desbrook wrote: »

Parents have responsibility to maintain their children even if no access is granted or sought .

In an average case, but this case is different. The grandparents have, from what I gather, fostered their grandchild. I have never heard of parents paying maintenance to foster parents.

OP, I think your best option is contacting the HSE or Social Worker, or whoever was involved in the case and find out where you stand.

mashedbanana

I know guardianship & custody are separate, that's why I was asking.

handtight

Thanks to all you guys for the responses which I really appreciate. To clarify we are joint court appointed carers with my daughter but this is theoretical as she's not around. In time I expect we will formally adopt our grandchild but that's not in play for the moment.

On the financials - this is not 'all about money' it's just frustrating to be dealing with demands for access from a guy who has no interest in supporting his kid. Just to confirm we are in receipt of SW 'orphan's allowance' However as all parents will appreciate there's no such thing as a typical kid and our little guy needs special support for learning difficulties which isn't available in the public system so we have to pay. I don't mind paying - who would? And we're not exactly destitute - but the Dad simply has no interest in his child's real issues and in my view is using the Courts as a vehicle to harass and extract revenge for perceived slights in the past.

Bear in mind having applied he failed to appear on two occasions - very frustating when you're faced with yet another access application.

I think I'll go with Big Bag of Chips and put in an application for maintenance on the day of the hearing.

Thanks again for the comment and apppreciate your taking the time....