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How would you deal with a mile long penis?

  • 09-09-2013 10:31PM
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,433 ✭✭✭✭


    I've been wondering about this. A mile long penis would a major advantage. Women would queue up to date you, farmers would ask you to lasso their calves, you could rappel down glaciers and bungy jump for free. But there could be disadvantages too. You'd need a truck to cart it to work, winter would pose challenges and someone could step on your knob a mile away without knowing it.

    So, fellow AHers, would you be happy with a mile long penis?


«1

Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,916 ✭✭✭shopaholic01


    No woman would be interested in a mile long penis.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,359 ✭✭✭✭kneemos


    People would certainly see you coming.


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,380 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    You'd need a thousand women to get a hands job. And some kind of pump to help get the jizz through. Man, that'll be too high maintenance for me.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 489 ✭✭mlumley


    I'm not cutting mine in half for anyone.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,466 ✭✭✭✭Ush1


    No woman would be interested in a mile long penis.

    Balls the size of space hoppers however...


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,087 ✭✭✭Spring Onion


    I've been wondering about this. A mile long penis would a major advantage. Women would queue up to date you, farmers would ask you to lasso their calves, you could rappel down glaciers and bungy jump for free. But there could be disadvantages too. You'd need a truck to cart it to work, winter would pose challenges and someone could step on your knob a mile away without knowing it.

    So, fellow AHers, would you be happy with a mile long penis?

    Why would they? How much penis do you think a woman can take?
    She could start giving you a blowjob and then be hanging on for dear life as she is erected towards the clouds. She wouldn't even hear your warning.

    Why did I bother replying? Losing it...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,916 ✭✭✭shopaholic01


    Ush1 wrote: »
    Balls the size of space hoppers however...
    Still a no. :p


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,800 ✭✭✭Lingua Franca


    I think it was a snake and I'd hit it with a rake.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    I'd slide on it all the way bback to my hotel


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,541 ✭✭✭Smidge


    I doubt there would be many women queuing up to become a human shish-kebab. :eek:


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 40 Irishbob


    Never mind a mile long, if mine was that extra inch longer, i cud go F*#k myself....


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    You sir win thread title of the week


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,100 ✭✭✭Starscream25


    I'd wrap it around the spire and take a picture and upload to facebook


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    Why would they? How much penis do you think a woman can take?
    She could start giving you a blowjob and then be hanging on for dear life as she is erected towards the clouds. She wouldn't even hear your warning.

    Why did I bother replying? Losing it...


    You'd pass out before you even got a semi in fairness with the amount of blood it'd take to get hard! :pac:

    All honesty OP, since you never mentioned girth, no girl or even a guy would be interested in a mile long pencil dick!

    Bungee jumping would also be problematic, the weight of your body falling from a mile height you'd rip your own nuts off.

    Christ the physics of it would be just, no! :pac:


  • Registered Users, Subscribers, Registered Users 2 Posts: 47,393 ✭✭✭✭Zaph


    bungy jump for free

    Leaving aside the practical considerations of how elastic the human penis is in comparison to bungee cord, I'd imagine that this would be something you'd only try once as you'd end up as a red puddle on the ground after you realised too late that the drop is a lot shorter than your penis.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,133 ✭✭✭Idle Passerby


    Would it have a girth to match or would it be like a giant strand of cooked spaghetti?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    I'm praying nobody starts a parody thread about dealing with a mile wide vagina... :(


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,299 ✭✭✭✭MadsL


    1 mile of pennies would be worth about six....


    oh.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    I would ask to be employed as barrier at crossings or into compounds.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    I would ask to be employed as barrier at crossings or into compounds.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,822 ✭✭✭Mickey H


    I've been wondering about this. A mile long penis would a major advantage. Women would queue up to date you, farmers would ask you to lasso their calves, you could rappel down glaciers and bungy jump for free. But there could be disadvantages too. You'd need a truck to cart it to work, winter would pose challenges and someone could step on your knob a mile away without knowing it.

    So, fellow AHers, would you be happy with a mile long penis?

    How would you carry it around? A fire hose reel?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,871 ✭✭✭rolliepoley


    You'ed be the second comming thats for sure.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,096 ✭✭✭Liamario


    Cut it down to size you want.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,778 ✭✭✭goz83


    I could pee into the sea from my house a mile away.

    But how to avoid traffic running over it at several junctions might pose a problem.

    Might also need a mile long sock, or be done for indecent exposure.

    No. I will keep my needle d1ck thank you very much.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,432 ✭✭✭✭RobbingBandit


    Drink a gallon of whiskey and Ride Mary Harney, she would be the only one it would fit in,either side might I add.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,215 ✭✭✭harney


    I would ask to be employed as barrier at crossings or into compounds.

    Yea, school compounds...............ya dirty fecker :eek:



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,354 ✭✭✭nocoverart


    I'd finally not suck at Golf or Tennis.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,971 ✭✭✭✭peekachoo


    first thing I think of:

    "he'll be comin' round the mountains when he comes" :confused::rolleyes:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,745 ✭✭✭Corvo


    Would be like Independance Day, tons of fighter jets trying to destroy it. One last jet would fly straight into the jap eye, causing a massive explosion.














    I have thought too much into this


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,822 ✭✭✭Mickey H


    Corvo wrote: »
    Would be like Independance Day, tons of fighter jets trying to destroy it. One last jet would fly straight into the jap eye, causing a massive explosion.














    I have thought too much into this

    Indeed you have my good man. ;)
    Still funny though.


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