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How will I get home?

  • 09-09-2013 8:25pm
    #1
    The Backwards Man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭


    Stairs to the left of me, steep hill to the right, here I am stuck in the Grassmarket in Edinburgh. I'm too unfit too walk the hill, I'm too drunk to negotiate the steps. Any ideas of how to blag my way out of this situation? Pedestrians zone so my only idea at the moment is asking the buxom barmaid to carry me home.


Comments

  • #2
    paddy147
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 15,858 ✭✭✭✭paddy147


    The Backwards Man wrote: »
    Stairs to the left of me, steep hill to the right, here I am stuck in the Grassmarket in Edinburgh. I'm too unfit too walk the hill, I'm too drunk to negotiate the steps. Any ideas of how to blag my way out of this situation? Pedestrians zone so my only idea at the moment is asking the buxom barmaid to carry me home.


    Yet sober enough to post this with perfect spelling/grammer.


    Pull the other one mate.


    OR



    WALK BACKWARDS.


  • #3
    The Backwards Man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    paddy147 wrote: »
    Yet sober enough to post this with perfect spelling/grammer.


    Pull the other one mate.:rolleyes:


    OR



    WALK BACKWARDS.:pac:
    Took me tenty mins to rite that post correctly :(


  • #4
    lahalane
    Closed Accounts Posts: 954 ✭✭✭lahalane


    Stay in the pub?


  • #5
    wexie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,480 ✭✭✭wexie


    The Backwards Man wrote: »
    Stairs to the left of me, steep hill to the right, here I am stuck in the Grassmarket in Edinburgh. I'm too unfit too walk the hill, I'm too drunk to negotiate the steps. Any ideas of how to blag my way out of this situation? Pedestrians zone so my only idea at the moment is asking the buxom barmaid to carry me home.


    slide down the steps on a serving tray? Worked for xXx!! (kinda)


  • #6
    kneemos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,592 ✭✭✭✭kneemos


    Are you inside or outside?
    A stairs and a hill?You sure you're fully awake.


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  • #7
    The Backwards Man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    wexie wrote: »
    slide down the steps on a serving tray? Worked for xXx!! (kinda)

    I have to slide uphill though.


  • #8
    nocoverart
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,354 ✭✭✭nocoverart


    Stairs to the left of me Jokers to the right, here I am


  • #9
    FearDark
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,425 ✭✭✭FearDark


    ?tig yzal ay emoh klaw uoy t'nod yhW


  • #10
    wexie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,480 ✭✭✭wexie


    The Backwards Man wrote: »
    I have to slide uphill though.


    ....that's gonna make it a lot harder


  • #11
    Mr.Crinklewood
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,593 ✭✭✭✭Mr.Crinklewood


    **** it. The entire country has a power cut and you are thinking of yourself.


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  • #12
    racso1975
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,273 ✭✭✭racso1975


    feckin amateurs really do my man tits in!!!!!!

    Go to the stairs. now go up them like a 2/3 yr old. hands on stairs too.


  • #13
    Mr.Crinklewood
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,593 ✭✭✭✭Mr.Crinklewood


    wexie wrote: »
    ....that's gonna make it a lot harder

    Do that's why Mrs Crinklewood wants me to slide my manhood up a hill.


  • #14
    NuckingFacker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,221 ✭✭✭NuckingFacker


    Support yourself with your elbows and chin and crawl home.


  • #15
    The Backwards Man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    lahalane wrote: »
    Stay in the pub?

    There's a Scottish folk singer singing an English folk song, 'Henry The Poacher'.

    Jesus:(


  • #16
    Timmyctc
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,825 ✭✭✭Timmyctc


    If you try it on with the Buxom barmaid enough she'll call the cops and they will transport you outta there post-haste.


  • #17
    Banjo String
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,380 ✭✭✭✭Banjo String


    Taxi.

    Taxi for the Backwards Man.

    Who takes notice of pedestrian zones anyway?


  • #18
    somefeen
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,657 ✭✭✭somefeen


    The Backwards Man wrote: »
    There's a Scottish folk singer singing an English folk song, 'Henry The Poacher'.

    Jesus:(

    Jesus, just risk the stairs man


  • #19
    YouTookMyName
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,361 ✭✭✭YouTookMyName


    Edinburghs a bastard for hills.


  • #20
    The Backwards Man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    Timmyctc wrote: »
    If you try it on with the Buxom barmaid enough she'll call the cops and they will transport you outta there post-haste.

    I just gave her a massive tip, if that helps. :)


  • #21
    lahalane
    Closed Accounts Posts: 954 ✭✭✭lahalane


    The Backwards Man wrote: »
    There's a Scottish folk singer singing an English folk song, 'Henry The Poacher'.

    Jesus:(

    Crap...better get twice as much with your next order so. If you drink more you won't notice the other punters. You may even be lucky enough to solve some of lifes complexities as you ponder the meaning of existence.


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  • #22
    Archeron
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,415 ✭✭✭Archeron


    Grab onto a passing meat blimp.


  • #23
    Banjo String
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,380 ✭✭✭✭Banjo String


    The Backwards Man wrote: »
    I just gave her a massive tip if that helps. :)

    Must. Resist. Urge. To. Say finger?


  • #24
    Sauve
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,646 ✭✭✭✭Sauve


    OP I know exactly where you are. It's no easy task to get out of that dip you're in :P

    Where do you need to get to?


  • #25
    The Backwards Man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    YouTookMyName wrote: »
    Edinburghs a bastard for hills.

    You're telling me! I was on my way down here and ended up on a balcony a hundred feet above the pub. Followed Google maps to the letter. Bastards.


  • #26
    cml387
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,644 ✭✭✭cml387


    I've phoned a friend in the Edinburgh police. DI Rebus wll be with you shortly.


  • #27
    du Maurier
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,198 ✭✭✭du Maurier


    paddy147 wrote: »
    Yet sober enough to post this with perfect spelling/grammer.


    Pull the other one mate.


    OR



    WALK BACKWARDS.

    Yeah, and why post on Boards when on holiday/out on the piss. Pretty pathetic. Probably the reason Walter Mitty will remain on ignore:)


  • #28
    The Backwards Man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    Sauve wrote: »
    OP I know exactly where you are. It's no easy task to get out of that dip you're in :P

    Where do you need to get to?
    I need to get to the bottom of Cockburn Street, I'm in the White Hart, maybe ssomeone could set up a facebook group to help me?


  • #29
    dmc17
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,782 ✭✭✭dmc17


    The Backwards Man wrote: »
    I just gave her a massive tip, if that helps. :)

    You should've given her the whole lot!


  • #30
    The Backwards Man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    du Maurier wrote: »
    Yeah, and why post on Boards when on holiday/out on the piss. Pretty pathetic. Probably the reason Walter Mitty will remain on ignore:)

    And here's me trying to liven up AH even when on holiday! You just can't please people :(


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  • #31
    Sauve
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,646 ✭✭✭✭Sauve


    The Backwards Man wrote: »
    I need to get to the bottom of Cockburn Street, I'm in the White Hart, maybe ssomeone could set up a facebook group to help me?

    Aww you really need to get up that hill :(
    You're pretty much there if you do. I suggest downing a shot and legging it, you'll be there in no time ;)


  • #32
    toastedpickles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,607 ✭✭✭toastedpickles


    Fitting song me thinks



  • #33
    MadsL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,299 ✭✭✭✭MadsL


    Believe OP, just believe...

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTahrYXCChI


  • #34
    The Backwards Man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    toastedpickles wrote: »
    Fitting song me thinks


    Kate Bush running up that hill me thinks :D


  • #35
    wil
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,188 ✭✭✭wil


    Mr.Crinklewood wrote: »
    **** it. The entire country has a power cut and you are thinking of yourself.
    Thank you, knew there was something more interesting, now with all the lights out I might be able to see that meteor shower.;)

    Now wheres my torch? My trusty trusty torch.:cool:


  • #36
    toastedpickles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,607 ✭✭✭toastedpickles


    The Backwards Man wrote: »
    Kate Bush running up that hill me thinks :D

    Placebo's version is better I think ;)


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  • #37
    The Backwards Man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    I'm now dancing in the muddle of a crowd of girls dressed as native Americans.

    That ties in well with another thread :p


  • #38
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    The Backwards Man wrote: »
    I need to get to the bottom of Cockburn Street, I'm in the White Hart, maybe ssomeone could set up a facebook group to help me?

    Heh...

    :P


  • #39
    Mickey H
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,822 ✭✭✭Mickey H


    The Backwards Man wrote: »
    There's a Scottish folk singer singing an English folk song, 'Henry The Poacher'.

    Jesus:(

    How does that make you feel?


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