Loner at graduation

LegacyUser

I'm really feeling down at the minute from something that will seem quite stupid. Anyway I recently graduated from college (last Wednesday) and despite the fact I have 5 friends in the class, I was pretty much a loner on the day whilst everyone else got pictures with their classmates. I have pretty bad social anxiety, and whilst I was ok with going on to the stage and collecting my diploma, I couldn't even force myself to go up to my own friends whilst they were with their family or different people from the class and ask for a picture. The only pictures I have from such a big day are of me or me and family. Is it silly to feel down over such a trivial thing? It just kinda made me think that if at this stage of my life I can't even bring myself to ask people for a picture, i'm never gonna get anywhere! And also I'll have nothing to look back on in years except pics of me on my own like a loser

Matteroffact

Most people just go and get a photo of themselves and/or one with their family. It is just too awkward to try and round people up who are with their families on a day like this. I would not think you were any exception. You might have seen one group photo and that made you feel that you should have one but it is not the norm. Congratulations by the way - you are not exactly a loser now are you !

Stavro Mueller

I understand that you're feeling a bit down because your graduation is so fresh in your mind. Give it some time and it will steadily but surely become a dim and distant memory. I kept a diary during my university years and I came across them about a year ago. As I leafed through them I found myself struggling to remember who some of these friends/friendly acquaintances were. I've stayed friends with some of the people I went to university with but the majority of them I've long since lost touch with. As for photos of the big day - I'd say I've looked at them about twice in the last ten years. And to tell the truth, the only ones I actually care about are the ones that my parents are in.

Your graduation is just one event in your life. Not to take away from it or anything but it's going to fade into insignificance in the coming years. It's great that you graduated from college with a piece of paper but it doesn't define you. Don't get too bothered either about who is or isn't in your photos. As Matteroffact has pointed out, it is a family day out for a lot of people and they're more concerned about entertaining their mum/dad/granny. What's also worth bearing in mind is that lots of people are into the optics of it. Just like you see people on Facebook having endless great nights out with more friends than you could shake a stick at. It can be a cardboard facade.

You're far from a loser. You graduated from college and you've got five friends. Hopefully these are friends who will be in your life in some form or another for many years to come. Most people, if they're honest, will tell you that they actually only have a handful of genuine friends. The same goes for most of your classmates who'll have you believe that they're part of one happy smiley big gang of friends.

As you go out into the big bad world for real, you'll become more confident in yourself and get better at dealing with social situations. I'm sure as time goes on you will meet more friends through different strands of your life. You'll be grand.

ivytwine

OP from my own graduation (number 2) I only have like three photos, ones taken with my classmates and my mother (dad wouldn't get into it!), and one that ended up in the Nenagh Guardian that I've never seen (I'm not even from Tipp!) I have one that I got professionally done but that's it. They're only photos, I'll prob never look at them again tbh.

Of course the real issue is not the photos, it's your social anxiety. Graduation is a huge even and it's normal to feel some anxiety. For someone with anxiety issues its doubly worse. Going up and collecting the degree in front of hundreds of people is really nerve wracking. But you did it OP. You achieved it!

And yes it is awkward asking for pictures from people. Have you been in contact with your friends since?

OP you are NOT a loser. You're a graduate (we tend to lose sight of what a great achievement that is, but you've already got one ahead of thousands of people) you have friends, you have family that care for you- you're not by any means a loser!

If you take anything from this post, I hope it's to be kinder to yourself. If someone talked to our best friend the way we talked to ourselves sometimes we'd be outraged. So don't be negative with yourself. And congratulations x