HELP PLEASE

stillblonde

Im not sure what to do or where to turn but ive recently broken up with my boyf of three years due to cheating. I took his back last year and recently realised he was still up to the same tricks. I found a profile belonging to him on a website looking for threesomes and no strings attached meetings as he was in a relationship and happy! He denies everything and says he was only looking but would never have met up with any of these women. Im also pretty sure he has a gambling problem but wont actually admit to that either. I spent the last few months of our relationship constantly looking over my shoulder because he was making me so paranoid. The same man showered me with presents and gave me the world but is unable to really connect. I absolutely adored him and to everyone else he adored me too. Everything i have confronted him with he magically seems to have an answer for everything and no matter how i came at him with imformation he would keep going until he had worn me down and i stopped arguing. He has the ability to turn everything around so im the person with issues and holding us back from this amazing relationship we had. Anyway we broke up and he is now hounding me to meet up because im apparently the love of his life. All the while im after hearing hes been with someone else and had her home with him a few times. I let him know i knew this and his answer is he went on a few dates while he was trying to get over me. The contact texts are wearing me down and i feel so metally drained from him. He is manipulating and playing games with me and i just cant cope. I must sound like such a weak person to anyone of you reading this but i never thought id be in a position like this. At the start i basically told him to f**k off and never contact me again and now thats hes become relentless over the past week i dont know what to do. Please please help me with advise i just dont know what to do.

Oryx

You do know what to do, youve already done it, you dumped him.

Well done on telling him where to go. It is the right thing to do, the only thing to do. He is controlling you, damaging you, and holding you back. You are not the love of his life, you're the only woman who will put up with his sh*t.

Dont take his calls, dont answer his texts. It will be tough, you are used to being manipulated by this man, and he knows how to get around you. But stay strong and look after yourself. Your happiness is the priority, and this guy does not make you happy. (Gifts do not equal love).

ruaille buaille

Went through a similar thing with my ex. At first he would just send the odd txt sayin how much he missed me and could we meet up for coffee and talk etc etc. Then he went on to sayin how he was so depressed without me sometimes crying down the phone. All the while he was really off having a great time dating various women. It was all just a manipulative ploy to get me back.

My advice is to contact your phone provider and get his number blocked. You can also block him on facebook.

heretochat

Stick to what you initially told him to do and tell him to f*ck off and leave you alone..

He is trying to worm his way back into your life by bombarding you with contact and being a menace.

You obviously meant so much to him when you were together (nsa requests and requests for threesomes show that). And then after you broke up it didn't take him long to take another woman to his bed..

Stay well clear of him as he is a cheat and will only break your heart again..

Big Bag of Chips

Just ignore any attempts at contact. Let your phone ring out. Don't reply to texts. If you have a smart phone there are various apps available that will block numbers for you.

He needs you to need him, that's why he's trying so hard to get you back. He doesn't necessarily want you, but he wants you to want him.

Just ignore him, he'll eventually get bored and move on.

Neyite

Echo all the advice so far. Stay firm and stay strong. If it helps think about If you got back with him it would only be a matter of time before he passed along a sti to you. That what helped me keep away from a cheater back when something similar happened to me.

Merkin

It might seem drastic but I'd change my number if I were you. You could block him but that's only for texts and he sounds like such a tool he'll probably then resort to phoning you non stop. If you can, change your number. Stay strong, you're so much better off without him.

loubian

Don't answer any more texts, calls, emails, anything from him. You are only fueling him n he is only looking for attention. Just ignore him.

desbrook

Merkin wrote: »

It might seem drastic but I'd change my number if I were you. You could block him but that's only for texts and he sounds like such a tool he'll probably then resort to phoning you non stop. If you can, change your number. Stay strong, you're so much better off without him.

If you are with Meteor or emobile they will block specified numbers very easily . This includes phoneCALLS . I have done it with emobile .It just meant a two minute call to their customer care team . No questions about why , you just reastart your phone after the call .. With other providers a Garda letter is necessary AFAIK .

As mentioned previously if you have a smart phone certain apps help although I found them patchy . You will need one though so that if he makes his call "Private " your phone will reject it .

My advice first and foremost though is to tell him and text him that you want "NO MORE CONTACT BY ANY MEANS" . Do not engage in any debate after this message - none .

Best of luck - you are doing the right thing .