Should I end it for good with my girlfriend?

LegacyUser

We are both in our early twenties. We met about 3-4years ago at college and at first we didn't mix at all. She was friends with a group of people and I never really connected with them. At our first class party they were really nasty to me. Saying that I was really ugly. There was about four of them in the group and I kind of ignored because I know when people are in a group they might go along with the group.
I met the girl a couple of weeks later at a bus stop and we hit it off straight away. We got on great and ended up spending the day together. We started seeing each other after about 6 weeks and every in our class was amazed at how well we were getting on compared to a few week previous.
The first few months were brilliant to be honest. We went out for dates, to the cinema, restaurants, ice skating, etc. We slept together.
One night tough she was really drunk and she made a move on my best friend in a taxi( I was there) I let this go because she was off really drunk.
We met each others family and we got on well. Her parents really took a shine to me because they said I was the first boyfriend that treated her with respect.
As we entered our second year together I noticed she was a but demanding. She was always to wanted me to be with her and I was barely able to go home to see my family. Another issue I had was that I paid for everything but I actually taught I was being nice to her and being a gentleman.
One night tough I saw a dark side to her. I was invited to a family wedding and she wanted to come. I explained that it was only a small family affair and the invite said nothing about a +plus one. She was really angry with me and started hitting me and burning me with a cigarette. After this we spent a few days apart and we met up and said she was sorry.
I forgave her and I didn't want it to become public knowledge that she was the one who gave me the black eyes. So know one was told about it.
We used live close by one another and spent most night together and I used do the cooking because she hated it, neither f us was over weight my bmi was 22.5 and she started saying I should lose weight because I wasn't was skinny as her ex. She wouldn't l eat me eat certain thing and I lost about a bit of weight she said it wasn't god enough. I'm very stocky and my upper body is naturally big so I found it almost impossible to lose any more weight.
She said I could only have 2 small meals a day, I could barely stay awake. I had very little energy. A few times she aw me eating and when she got me alone she would hit me for eating stuff she didn't approve of.
She started lashing out at me over little things that were not my fault and she would often hit/bite/scrape me.
To the class tough they all taught we were a brilliant couple. I got on very well with her mam and family and to the outside world we were perfect together but I felt alone all the time.
Things really went down hill in the last few weeks tough. Her friend sent me a picture of my girlfriend and her ex of 5 years kissing in a club. When I confronted her about this she said she was drunk and sorry and it meant nothing. I said give me a few days to think. We were both going to a Birthday party in a few days so we said we would meet their. She said sorry and we started talking. We were getting on well. She followed me into the bathroom and made a move on me. I wasn't in the mood to have sex tonight. She stormed off saying that I didn't love her. We normally had sex a good few times a week but it was always on her terms it was the first time I said no to her. Our sex life was always excellent and we had a good time. I said no because after everything that happened I just wasn't in the mood.
At the party I was only drink soft drinks so I wasn't drunk. I started to feel tired and I could barely walk. A couple of lads brought me into a bedroom and put me to bed and that's the last thing I remember. The next thing I remember is waking up about 40 minutes later to my girlfriend on top of me having sex with me. I tried to get her off but she wouldn't she pushed me back down onto the bed and tore open my shirt and scratched my chest.
I am at a point now that I lost most of my friend ships because if her and that I am actually afraid of her. Nobody has any idea what is going on between us and if I did say anything nobody would believe me.
Do ye think that she might have date raped me?
Should I end it with her for good?
Thanks in advance!

Catari Jaguar

Oh my god, this is one of the most ****ed up things I've ever read on PI. Dude, get out of there!! Now! What would you tell a female friend/family member if she told you it was her boyfriend doing that to her? It's domestic abuse - verbal, physical and sexual. Please leave her, don't be ashamed, she is COMPLETELY in the wrong, she needs therapy. People should know her true colours, but please, get away from her. Crazy bitch.

December2012

Please contact Amen here.

You are the victim of an abusive person.

I think you should leave her, but the choice is yours.

Give Amen a call to talk to somebody in confidence.

They will understand.

heretochat

She is an absolute psycho... Burning you with cigarettes and giving you black eyes..

The sex could be mind blowing but even that was on her terms..

She has attempted to completely destroy you.. She has made a move on someone in front of you, dictates what you eat, dictates when you have sex..

Has she isolated you from friends and family as well?

Run, run, run and then after you have caught breath run some more

Lisha

Just to emphasise what the others have said, RUN AWAY Fast

You deserve so much more and you deserve to be happy.

Please end it and look after yourself

Also if she threatens to self harm or worse when you end it. Just keep going don't let her blackmail you.

Might be an idea to tell some one else who can help you to focus and stay strong. Just show them this thread if you can't get the words out.

Telling some one also offers you a form of protection to any lies or retaliation she might threaten.

If you think you can't do it bring someone with you if you need to. Or tell some details of meeting place so they know where you are

I heard a spokesperson from Amen on Matt Cooper yesterday and they are a great org. Sounded like they would offer you help with managing the breakup.

Really op all the best, but please get help. You should have a life that makes you happy .

miamee

December2012 wrote: »

Please contact Amen here.

You are the victim of an abusive person.

I think you should leave her, but the choice is yours.

Give Amen a call to talk to somebody in confidence.

They will understand.

Please do contact Amen as December2012 has recommended OP. You need to get as far away from this woman as possible; she is abusing you physically, mentally and sexually. Regardless of whether she used a drug on you at the party or not, she still had sex with you against your will.

I'm so sorry that this has happened to you, you need to tell someone what is going on. A family member, a friend or someone at AMEN. You may think you have distanced your friends through your relationship with her but a good friend would not turn you away when in need. Best of luck OP.

wersal gummage

Jesus. If this was reversed people would be advising your girlfriend to go to the police.

Leave her. Perhaps do the breaking up in a public place?

Best of luck.

seenitall

Hi OP,

I will just reiterate what is being said, please leave this abusive relationship behind you as fast and as definitely as you possibly can. You are not alone, there are other people, men who have been with abusive girlfirends or wives, and you will find emotional support with a group such as AMEN.

Cut this person out of your life and never look back. You will need to heal and find your self-esteem again after being through such an experience - it must be on the floor after taking such abuse for years. You will need time for yourself.

Please do this for yourself, you are only young and have a life of love and happiness ahead of you, you just have to learn to properly love yourself, recognise abuse and learn not to let toxic and harmful people into your life.

Best wishes.

Hannibal Smith

I am so sorry to read what has happened to you OP. It is not important whether it is the man or woman on the receiving end of physical, sexual, or emotional abuse but it is important to recognise it is happening and to put a stop to it.

You have done nothing wrong and none of this is because of anything you did or didn't do. Whether you were allowed invite a guest to a wedding or not is immaterial and does not give her any right to use physical violence on you.

You are going to have to cut her out. That means not seeing her, talking to her, ignoring her apologies and disconnecting yourself from her.

Do whatever you can to achieve this, talk to Amen, or to a friend, or a family member. ..or all three but dont go through it on your own.

wirelessdude01

Do you really need to ask what you should do? GET THE HELL OUT.

Defiler Of The Coffin

Don't waste any more time on this psycho. Out before she burns down the house

Esoteric_

Op, what she has done to you is physically and sexually abused you. She raped you!

Get the hell away from her, contact amen and please cut all contact with her and consider going to the police.

njs030

Op please please leave her. As another poster suggested it might be safest for you to do it in public, also can you arrange to go to parents or friends for a few days afterwards so she can't convince you to change your mind?

Whatever you do afterwards please make the decision and stay strong.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the advise,
I broke up with her this afternoon. She didn't take it to well and said we should talk. I said we were finished for good and I said I was sick of being treated like this. She said that it was okay for a girl to hit a guy and that's how a guy should be treated. I made it clear to her we weren't getting back together and she went of crying and said she's get me back!
I am living at home at the moment so we're weren't living together. I don't think their is much point of going to amen.

JenEffy

1990sGuy wrote: »

We are both in our early twenties. We met about 3-4years ago at college and at first we didn't mix at all. She was friends with a group of people and I never really connected with them. At our first class party they were really nasty to me. Saying that I was really ugly. There was about four of them in the group and I kind of ignored because I know when people are in a group they might go along with the group.
I met the girl a couple of weeks later at a bus stop and we hit it off straight away. We got on great and ended up spending the day together. We started seeing each other after about 6 weeks and every in our class was amazed at how well we were getting on compared to a few week previous.
The first few months were brilliant to be honest. We went out for dates, to the cinema, restaurants, ice skating, etc. We slept together.
One night tough she was really drunk and she made a move on my best friend in a taxi( I was there) I let this go because she was off really drunk.
We met each others family and we got on well. Her parents really took a shine to me because they said I was the first boyfriend that treated her with respect.
As we entered our second year together I noticed she was a but demanding. She was always to wanted me to be with her and I was barely able to go home to see my family. Another issue I had was that I paid for everything but I actually taught I was being nice to her and being a gentleman.
One night tough I saw a dark side to her. I was invited to a family wedding and she wanted to come. I explained that it was only a small family affair and the invite said nothing about a +plus one. She was really angry with me and started hitting me and burning me with a cigarette. After this we spent a few days apart and we met up and said she was sorry.
I forgave her and I didn't want it to become public knowledge that she was the one who gave me the black eyes. So know one was told about it.
We used live close by one another and spent most night together and I used do the cooking because she hated it, neither f us was over weight my bmi was 22.5 and she started saying I should lose weight because I wasn't was skinny as her ex. She wouldn't l eat me eat certain thing and I lost about a bit of weight she said it wasn't god enough. I'm very stocky and my upper body is naturally big so I found it almost impossible to lose any more weight.
She said I could only have 2 small meals a day, I could barely stay awake. I had very little energy. A few times she aw me eating and when she got me alone she would hit me for eating stuff she didn't approve of.
She started lashing out at me over little things that were not my fault and she would often hit/bite/scrape me.
To the class tough they all taught we were a brilliant couple. I got on very well with her mam and family and to the outside world we were perfect together but I felt alone all the time.
Things really went down hill in the last few weeks tough. Her friend sent me a picture of my girlfriend and her ex of 5 years kissing in a club. When I confronted her about this she said she was drunk and sorry and it meant nothing. I said give me a few days to think. We were both going to a Birthday party in a few days so we said we would meet their. She said sorry and we started talking. We were getting on well. She followed me into the bathroom and made a move on me. I wasn't in the mood to have sex tonight. She stormed off saying that I didn't love her. We normally had sex a good few times a week but it was always on her terms it was the first time I said no to her. Our sex life was always excellent and we had a good time. I said no because after everything that happened I just wasn't in the mood.
At the party I was only drink soft drinks so I wasn't drunk. I started to feel tired and I could barely walk. A couple of lads brought me into a bedroom and put me to bed and that's the last thing I remember. The next thing I remember is waking up about 40 minutes later to my girlfriend on top of me having sex with me. I tried to get her off but she wouldn't she pushed me back down onto the bed and tore open my shirt and scratched my chest.
I am at a point now that I lost most of my friend ships because if her and that I am actually afraid of her. Nobody has any idea what is going on between us and if I did say anything nobody would believe me.
Do ye think that she might have date raped me?
Should I end it with her for good?
Thanks in advance!

Disregarding the red flags at the beginning of your relationship (trying to get off with your friend, you paying for everything), you are in a seriously abusive relationship. She drugged you and sexually assaulted you. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to go through something like this, but please, please call the police and have her arrested. Show them this thread if you have to. No one deserves to be in a relationship like this.
Edited to add: If you have to ask whether or not your girlfriend might have date raped you, it's time to get out of the relationship as fast as possible.

DesperateDan

It's easy enough to just say get out of there but how the hell is this psycho b*tch going to deal with it? She could make up lies to ruin your reputation, stalk or harass you or anything at all really. Good luck op but be careful and prepare for her not to be out of your life in the space of one conversation

Paddy Cow

1990sGuy wrote: »

Do ye think that she might have date raped me?
Should I end it with her for good?

Yes she raped you. Don't believe the nonsense some people sprout that a man can't be raped by a woman. Rape is non-consensual sex. You clearly told her you didn't want sex and woke to find her on top of you. You tried to get her off you and she responded by scratching your chest. If the roles were reversed you wouldn't question it. That you did doubt yourself shows how much of a hold she had over you.

Ditch the bitch and don't take her back no matter what she says. It won't be easy and as she is such an unstable manipulator who loves to torment you, expect her to start spreading lies and trying to turn people against you. Someone sent you a photo of her kissing her ex in a club so at least some of her friends will be aware of her behaviour but probably not the full extent of it.

You are probably going to feel shame, humiliation and embarrassment that you "allowed" this behaviour to happen. While these emotions are normal for anyone in an abusive relationship, please don't give into them. Only she is responsible for her actions and it's not your fault she used your kind and gentle nature against you. Before you break up with her I would advise talking to a family member/friend who you completely trust and telling them everything so that you have an emotional support system when you do cut her off. If you can't face talking to someone close to you, please contact an outside source as others have said.

This relationship cannot continue and the sooner you leave the better. You can heal and find a woman who will love and respect you, rather than use you as a plaything.

Good luck

Paddy Cow

DesperateDan wrote: »

It's easy enough to just say get out of there but how the hell is this psycho b*tch going to deal with it? She could make up lies to ruin your reputation, stalk or harass you or anything at all really. Good luck op but be careful and prepare for her not to be out of your life in the space of one conversation

That's my fear as well and it's why I think the op should tell someone about what happened. He has no way of proving what happened in the past and if it comes down to he said/she said the female who knows how to cry on cue and coldly manipulate people, nearly always comes across as the innocent victim. At least if someone/people know why the op is breaking up with her before he tells her, they can be on the look out for any bunny boiling behaviour and be witnesses for him.

December2012

Paddy Cow wrote: »

That's my fear as well and it's why I think the op should tell someone about what happened. He has no way of proving what happened in the past and if it comes down to he said/she said the female who knows how to cry on cue and coldly manipulate people, nearly always comes across as the innocent victim. At least if someone/people know why the op is breaking up with her before he tells her, they can be on the look out for any bunny boiling behaviour and be witnesses for him.

Amen can help him with this.

Caonima

Drop this trash like she's hot

Hannibal Smith

What she did to you was serious op, you know. ..you were there for it all.

She clearly doesn't accept that what she did was wrong. You may think you dont need outside help now but all of this is very likely to come back on you sooner orlater. It could effect your behaviour in your next relationship, it could effect you trusting another woman. You may even already believe that on some level what she did to you was ok and acceptable. You may even start wondering why she chose you, was there something in yiur character that made her pick you out for all of this.

What she did was in no way okay...from burning you, to controlling your eating, to hitting you and to raping you. None of it was down to you, it is completely her own doing.

Other posters are right if it was a woman there would be no question but go to the police. Even with women who are effected there are those who doubt people will believe her, thats why they go to the rape crisis centre, to find out what the next step is.

This woman needs to realise the seriousness of her actions and reporting her to the police is the way to do it. Amen may be able to guide you in going about this if you dont feel confident enough to do it by yourself.

professore

Lucky escape. Cut all ties and go out and make some friends and enjoy yourself.

Shorc

1990sGuy wrote: »

Thanks for the advise,
I broke up with her this afternoon. She didn't take it to well and said we should talk. I said we were finished for good and I said I was sick of being treated like this. She said that it was okay for a girl to hit a guy and that's how a guy should be treated. I made it clear to her we weren't getting back together and she went of crying and said she's get me back!
I am living at home at the moment so we're weren't living together. I don't think their is much point of going to amen.

You need to contact the police, she has abused you physically and sexually and now has made a threat against you.

Esoteric_

OP, I'm a little worried for you, if I may be blunt.

Considering the behaviour she's exhibited, I'd strongly advise you to go to the police. If you won't do it because you don't want to admit to what she's done, do it because there is a huge chance (considering the way she's behaved) that she could go to the police and claim that YOU abused HER.

PLEASE, go to the police. Even if you're not willing to press charges, speak to them, get her actions noted down, so that there's a record if she decides to go and lie about you. False abuse/rape/assault claims are more common than you'd think.

moochers

+1 to above posts
She is a despicable human being. Thank God ye don't live together.
Good on you for ending it but you need help/support/counseling. Please take on board what the other posts have advised. Go to AMEN.

Please go to the police too and make a statement, you don't have to press charges but at least they will have a record on her. It is inevitable that she will do the same to her next partner, and the more evidence the police has to build a case, the better.

Best of luck OP.

Esoteric_

Just to add to my previous post, the police WILL take a record down but not press charges, if you don't want to do that. They just keep it on file. So don't worry about them forcing you to press charges. They did it for me when I went about a serious assault and was too afraid to press charges (but wanted it on file in case he came after my family).

Please, do something about her. She abused you horribly. You're young, you still have loads of time to recover and heal from this, if you take the right steps. Please consider speaking to somebody in AMEN, or even your GP. What she's done is bound to have an effect on you.

from_atozinc

Man, get the Fook out of there, delete her number, bar her number. Don't even tell her why you want to break up, just leave. She is just a c u n t and a half, and you should have decked her one early in the relationship. She honestly sounds like she should be in a mental institution, she just sounds big time fooked up.

She was abusing you big time but if you were to take it further, probably a pain in the hole to prove all that stuff

Look your young, millions of other birds out there that are actually nice

Move on from this c u n t, just forget about her, she only brought hardship to you. Try and break every single tie with her, family, her friends, pubs, social media

John Mason

Seriously mate, this could go really bad for you. if you are not prepared to go to Amen (which is a big mistake), please print off a copy of this thead and give it to someone who you trust and will believe you.

i have dealt with one of these pyshco's in my pass, she will destroy you. You need to put measures in place to protect yourself and your reputation.

heretochat

She has said that she "will get you back". While this may be seen as an idle threat or something said in the heat of the moment from a "normal" upset person, she has shown herself to be anyhting but..

You need to protect yourself and by this I agree with all the previous posters. You have to report her to the guards, if for no other reason than she might try and flip it back on you and you don't want that knock on your door first.

As for going to AMEN, you say there is not much point. I disagree with you on this. You have been abused (mentally, physically and sexually) by this person. That is what they are there for. And it is only as a result of men not taking the step to report abuse that it is allowed to go on under the radar.

I can see that you would be slow (maybe embarassed) to go there.. But really in your case I think there is no option. You have to report this and get help.

Emme

1990sGuy wrote: »

Thanks for the advise,
I broke up with her this afternoon. She didn't take it to well and said we should talk. I said we were finished for good and I said I was sick of being treated like this. She said that it was okay for a girl to hit a guy and that's how a guy should be treated. I made it clear to her we weren't getting back together and she went of crying and said she's get me back!
I am living at home at the moment so we're weren't living together. I don't think their is much point of going to amen.

I disagree. It is imperative that you contact AMEN now. Well done for getting out of an abusive relationship but abusers often ramp up the abuse at this time to try and get their victim back. It isn't because they care, it's because they need somebody to kick around. You will need support now to help you stay away.

You will also need counselling because you were effectively raped by your ex at the party. She sounds like a lunatic of the highest order. She burned you, starved you, beat you up and raped you. If the genders were reversed and a man did this to a woman the knives would really be out for him and rightly so. Just as they should be out for her after she abused you.

If you have not already done so please contact AMEN now and take care of yourself.

The website is http://www.amen.ie and their number is 046 9023718.

tinkerbell

OP, thank god you broke up with her. You NEED to go to the police, that psycho is just going to keep doing this. She abused you physically, emotionally and sexually. She date raped you, she wouldn't let you eat food, she burned you, gave you black eyes. Just because you're a man, doesn't mean you are to put up and shut up and let her do what she wants. You are a victim, there is no shame in that so PLEASE go to the police, please please please. This b1tch could ruin your life by spreading lies about you, you need to get the help that you need. And please contact AMEN, you need to see a counsellor to help you move on from this trauma.

Oryx

Definitely go to someone in authority and record what has happened, because the next thing she might try is to go to the police herself and accuse you of assault.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the advise,
I have blocked the girl on social media/phone number/etc.
Okay I know people are saying I should go to amen and I will think about this but their is a GP in my area who I would tell it to and I could to them. Would this do?
I actually live a about 3 hours away from the girl and she has never being at my home. I have being at hers but she was never at mine.
If I did make a statement to the gardai would they arrest her? Or could I ask them just to put her name in the system if anything did happen in the future. I have no proof of what happened. So it's my word against hers really!

inforfun

Shorc wrote: »

You need to contact the police, she has abused you physically and sexually and now has made a threat against you.

This.

If the roles were reversed ........

Taltos

Going to your GP is a great first step.
Don't underestimate the trauma of this abuse - if not dealt with now it can explode years later ruining your chances of happiness. This is part of the reason people are strongly encouraging you to talk to Amen. If your GP is good that is a start, however there is always the risk that your GP may not be able to help you - again why contacting a dedicated group like AMEN is ideal.

In terms of making a report to the Gardai, I am not sure - but for your own peace of mind and to cover yourself from false claims (would bet on it) you really need to go in and make a statement. If it helps ask them if you have a choice on pressing charges before you make a statement - again many stations have staff especially trained to deal with abuse - ask to speak to someone with that background if at all possible.

Really though I cannot encourage you strongly enough
> AMEN
> Gardai
Both as soon as possible - today in fact before this escalates.

tinkerbell

Everything Taltos said, OP. Do speak to your GP but I really think now your priority should be going to the gardai and AMEN. Your GP may not be able to help, so AMEN would be your best bet. And regardless of "your word against hers", sure that's pretty much the same in all abuse cases but the truth always comes out. This girl will keep on doing it unless you make a statement. What she did was horrific to you, she deserves to be hauled over the coals for this. If it was a man doing this to a woman, I'm sure you wouldn't hesitate to say go to the gardai. There is nothing to be ashamed about here, the gardai can help you.

jdsk2006

If you were my brother/son id also be telling you to print off this thread and post to her parents.....

from_atozinc

You just need to try and action this and make the guards / amen aware of the situation and that YOU ARE IN THE RIGHT HERE.
This bird is not right in the head, as I said before she should be in a mental institution.
Because of her state of mind, god knows what she could start making up, you could find the guards calling to you in a few months from now with some random acquisition made be her against you.

So bloody get in before her even just to present the real facts. the very least just to have it on record that you made a complaint against this loop the loop !!

For all you know, she could be conjuring up some other plan right now - that you were abusing her etc

Not trying to alarm you, but just for your own good, get this sh1t sorted now.

Lisha

Op everyone that has posted are very right.
Please listen to them.
The only way you can protect yourself is by telling as many people as possible what she did to you.
At a very minimum you should tell, as soon as possible, your parents &fsmily, the gardai, and an organisation that can give you comprehensive advice such as Amen.
Please protect yourself from any crazy sh*t she could try in the future.
You staying Silent might spare your blushes but really it only gives her more power .

Please op look after yourself first ,
All the best

Weathering

Ah man she has completely knocked the fight out you. She shouldn't get away with this. I don't want to alarm you any further but she ia capable of anything. Don't be thinking about shame there is no shame on your behalf. I'm in my early 20's and if this happened to one of my mates I wouldn't thibk any less of them which I'm afraid is preventing you from taking action.

I wouldn't put murder past someone as evil and disturbed as her. Put all of this on record with the authorities. I'm sure she is well able to put on the puppy dog face and play the victim so stand up for yourself before she makes her next nasty move. There is no point ignoring this any longer go to the Gards, open up to a female family member and bring them along. Good luck head up

Hannibal Smith

OP the most important thing is to talk to someone you are comfortable confiding in. Its one thing writing it all down here, but when you go to say it out loud fir the first time you may find it more difficult. So if you feel comfortable confiding in your gp, do it. They keep a record of all appointments as far as I'm aware, so it will be on file some where. But its great you're now open to the idea of taking it further.

Emme

OP how are you? Did you contact AMEN or go to your GP? A good GP would advise you to contact the Gardai and AMEN and also suggest counselling for you. You are a victim of crime and you are in the right.

Ickle Magoo

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LegacyUser

Thanks guys for the advise.
I went to my GP and she we had a chat about it and she told me about the options I had and I feel grand after the chat.
I am thinking of making the Gardai aware of the issue and I we'll see how we'll deal with it.
I am a guy who isn't into counselling tough. Even in secondary school when issues happened that would have effected me I could just tell somebody for I was feeling and get on with things and I'd feel good when other people would want to talk about it loads it's just not in me to go to loads of counselling. That's why I don't see much of a point of going to amen.
As for the girlfriend she is back with her ex according to people because they saw it on facebook. I don't care what she does to be honest.

December2012

1990sGuy wrote: »

Thanks guys for the advise.
I went to my GP and she we had a chat about it and she told me about the options I had and I feel grand after the chat.
I am thinking of making the Gardai aware of the issue and I we'll see how we'll deal with it.
I am a guy who isn't into counselling tough. Even in secondary school when issues happened that would have effected me I could just tell somebody for I was feeling and get on with things and I'd feel good when other people would want to talk about it loads it's just not in me to go to loads of counselling. That's why I don't see much of a point of going to amen.
As for the girlfriend she is back with her ex according to people because they saw it on facebook. I don't care what she does to be honest.

Hi OP,

I understand how you feel about not wanting to go to counselling, it's not everybody's cup of tea.

Am I right that you've never tried it though?

Just give the Amen people a call - counselling is just one of the things they do. They also give practical advice, tips and support.

from_atozinc

1990sGuy wrote: »

Thanks guys for the advise.
I went to my GP and she we had a chat about it and she told me about the options I had and I feel grand after the chat.
I am thinking of making the Gardai aware of the issue and I we'll see how we'll deal with it.
I am a guy who isn't into counselling tough. Even in secondary school when issues happened that would have effected me I could just tell somebody for I was feeling and get on with things and I'd feel good when other people would want to talk about it loads it's just not in me to go to loads of counselling. That's why I don't see much of a point of going to amen.
As for the girlfriend she is back with her ex according to people because they saw it on facebook. I don't care what she does to be honest.

good man fair play to ya.

And listen , word of advice, will you just totally forget about her now. fook her and her ex. tell your friends not to tell you about anything about her. just totally blank anything to do with her out of your life.

Hannibal Smith

You don't have to seek counselling. ..if you're not into it it'll be of no benefit to you.

Good man for going to the gp...best of luck with the gardai and I hope its long behind you soon and you move on well.

LegacyUser

Hi!
I did give counselling ago for another issue, but it wasn't me I find that saying it to somebody and having a chat helps me a lot. Talking about things and discussing them never really benefitted me.
I have being in contact with people that I used be friends with before and I've planned a night out with them.
I know people mightn't agree with this but I don't hold any grudge against the girl. Whilst we aren't friends I have nothing against her and I hope she sorts herself out in the future and gets help and she leans for to treat guys properly.
I might never have to see her again because our social circles are different and we live so far apart.

Lisha

All the best op, you are doing great!

Best of luck for the future

December2012

Good stuff op. good luck with the gardai and with your mates.

I wish you all the best.

Don't rush yourself though.

Esoteric_

Fair play to you, OP. You've done all the right things. Onwards and upwards, and you'll meet somebody who treats you the way you deserve when the time is right.