Feel like giving up

irishdub74

I don't know if i have any right to post here to be honest, but i just need to get things off my chest,i am starting too loose hope in ever really having a relationship with a woman, it makes me sad to think that at 39 that i may never get the chance too share and enjoy life with another person,

let me explain! i have always been the quiet shy type and the shyness really did cripple me i wanted to talk to people, but i just couldn't bring myself too recently i made myself go to a number off groups and i broke that cycle, but when it comes too women it's still tough too break the ice, or seem confident enough that they want a conversation. I'm not interested in one night stands or dating a string off women, i just would like too find someone that has common interests, and we could make each other happy, obviously i can't go into to much detail, but normally when i do start talking to a girl i like the nerves just take over and it sometimes feels like i'm back too square one,

I'm just a normal guy, have a job not the best job in the world but it's honest, live on my own, just don't know what else to do i have joined a couple off dating sites, but not much luck would rather try and find someone on the outside, anyhow thank you for reading this..

thegreatgonzo

Well first of all 39 is way too young to think you have missed out on any chance to share your life with someone. It's not like you are running out of eggs or anything;-)
My opinion for what it's worth is forget the dating sites for a while but keep joining any clubs that you are interested in like say on meetup.com. At least then you can talk about your shared interest.
Do you find it hard to chat to all women or is it just ones you are attracted to? Some people are harder to talk to than others so don't be so hard on yourself. Being a woman myself though I can honestly say that most of us are happy to talk about any old rubbish to pass the time in a social (not dating) situation so just chat away like you would to another guy if that makes you feel more comfortable.
Anyway I really think you should relax. You aren't past it yet and it's nice to hear a man say that he isn't into one night stands etc because the guys that are into one night stands are 3 for a £:-)

tutularue

Do you have a good social life? I think if you expand the group of people that you are friends with then you would increase your chances of meeting a girl in a natural way. People are attracted to happy people so try to focus on positive things in your life and be grateful for all of the good things you have going on in your life. Online dating does take a lot of patience but it is still worth trying. I have heard of people doing online dating for years before they found their partner. You probably would need to find a girl who is as shy and nervous as you are and I am sure there are plenty of girls like that out there. It's not easy to find a match in this life but don't lose hope. You are still young! Are you able to talk to girls in general or are you only nervous when it is a girl that you fancy?

Mini claire

irishdub74 wrote: »

I don't know if i have any right to post here to be honest, but i just need to get things off my chest,i am starting too loose hope in ever really having a relationship with a woman, it makes me sad to think that at 39 that i may never get the chance too share and enjoy life with another person,

let me explain! i have always been the quiet shy type and the shyness really did cripple me i wanted to talk to people, but i just couldn't bring myself too recently i made myself go to a number off groups and i broke that cycle, but when it comes too women it's still tough too break the ice, or seem confident enough that they want a conversation. I'm not interested in one night stands or dating a string off women, i just would like too find someone that has common interests, and we could make each other happy, obviously i can't go into to much detail, but normally when i do start talking to a girl i like the nerves just take over and it sometimes feels like i'm back too square one,

I'm just a normal guy, have a job not the best job in the world but it's honest, live on my own, just don't know what else to do i have joined a couple off dating sites, but not much luck would rather try and find someone on the outside, anyhow thank you for reading this..

Think this is really refreshing to hear a man with genuine fear of meeting "miss right",.. Your not alone.... Plenty of single women out there looking for "mr right".... I'm naturally shy girl... & always love when a man can approach me in a pub & strike up a conversation.. Nothing more attractive than a wee bit of self confidence..... Have some faith in yourself.. You sound like a good catch..plenty of wasters guys out there that don't know what they want! At least you do...

irishdub74

Thank's for the replies guys, my social life is getting better, i've started volunteering which is increasing my confidence, i haven't approached a girl in a pub yet, i often wanted too but i thought that might creep her out and stuff, but Mini claire you are right i think, i need to built on having more faith in myself. I think i probably over think the situation way too much and instead of just going with the flow, most of the time i am easy going and stuff but just i dunno.
I am grateful for what i have in my life, i am moving into an new apartment within the next month so do feel very blessed for everything i have, but i just want someone to share that happiness with,

Time out

Hey you re not past it by any means, the most interesting people are those who are still unsure how life will show out when they are 40 !
You do need to make the effort however, joining clubs, physical activity to make you feel more confident, even chancing chatting up a lady in a social setting. It will come but only if you make some bit of effort which is pretty much the next step after posting here!