month old baby working herself up

loubian

My baby is a month old on Thursday. The last few days, she's slept very short intervals. She seems to have a problem with getting up wind n sometimes It seems like she us straining to go number two. She does go daily though. Sometimes though she'll work herself up so much she'll kind of stop breathing mid cry. My brother and I used to do this when we were younger, n if you pick her up she'll stop, but it's so horrifying seeing her doing it. I'm afraid she's gotten used to being held n then has a temper if we put her down. Just wondering if there's any way to kick this in the bud while it's still early? Coz when she does the whole screaming on the top of her lungs until she's red in the face, it's hard not to pick her up to comfort her. But sometimes I have to even hold off going to the loo if she's crying coz I'm just afraid she'll stop breathing and i won't be there to pick her up n calm her down.

January

She's a month old, I'd just pick her up and comfort her. She's still only practically newborn so if she cries I wouldn't just let her cry, she's crying for something.

loubian

January wrote: »

She's a month old, I'd just pick her up and comfort her. She's still only practically newborn so if she cries I wouldn't just let her cry, she's crying for something.

Yet I have my mum n grandmother saying you can't hold them too much. How are you meant to know what's right? I don't ignore her if she was crying, I would pick her up and comfort her. But when she's calmed down in my arms, if I put her down, she'll wake up again and start crying. I sometimes wish I had three arms.

cant26

I'm sure your mum and gran mean well but I don't get the whole "don't pick them up". My partners mam told me to let my son scream for a few minutes as it would strengthen his lungs. I'm still looking at her!!! A month old is so young. She prob just wants to be close to you!

If its a wind issue maybe you could try something like infacol? My PHN recommended it to me when my son was a week old and found it very hard to get his wind up. It really helped him.

loubian

cant26 wrote: »

I'm sure your mum and gran mean well but I don't get the whole "don't pick them up". My partners mam told me to let my son scream for a few minutes as it would strengthen his lungs. I'm still looking at her!!! A month old is so young. She prob just wants to be close to you!

If its a wind issue maybe you could try something like infacol? My PHN recommended it to me when my son was a week old and found it very hard to get his wind up. It really helped him.

Yeah I guess with them telling me not to be constantly holding her, n me knowing she likes being held, it's hard to know what the right thing to do is.

I have infacol now, so if she is still bad tomorrow I'll start her on it.

January

I had the same from my mam when I was a first time mother too. It's hard not to listen to their advice but you are your daughter's mother and you know her best.

Try the infacol. Try to raise her cot/moses basket up a little underneath her head (I rolled a blanket up and put it under the moses basket mattress in the early days.) mine always slept better propped up a little bit.

bp

I posted before about my parents and in-laws going advice - you spoil the baby, you starve the baby etc. Moral if the story is do what suits you am your baby - you know them best.

Maybe try changing formula (if you are giving formula). Maybe half way through a feed put a soother in and burp the baby - we did this. It keeps the sucking up but allows for a good burp.

Also baby massage for colic might be an idea.

Good luck and remember baby is still very young

krankykitty

I was hearing all the time as well about making a rod for my back for picking the baby up all the time (from the older generation) but I think you should just do what feels right to you.

If it is wind bothering your baby, my very experienced friend (5 kids!) gave me a tip the other day - hold baby sitting straight on your lap and rotate their whole body around a few times. Then do the normal winding procedure. It really seems to let out some big huge burps.

My baby was very windy for the first 7 or so weeks but then seemed to grow out of it..

loubian

krankykitty wrote: »

I was hearing all the time as well about making a rod for my back for picking the baby up all the time (from the older generation) but I think you should just do what feels right to you.

If it is wind bothering your baby, my very experienced friend (5 kids!) gave me a tip the other day - hold baby sitting straight on your lap and rotate their whole body around a few times. Then do the normal winding procedure. It really seems to let out some big huge burps.

My baby was very windy for the first 7 or so weeks but then seemed to grow out of it..

Thanks for the tip. I'll try it tomorrow. I do know I have to do what I think is right, but then I suppose, as a first time mum, you second guess yourself as your mother and grandmother have gone through it before! She is fast asleep now as she got a good bit of wind up this evening. Hopefully tomorrow ww will have a better day

krankykitty

It is hard to trust yourself as a first timer, I'm the same, everyone has conflicting advice. I think for myself when something advised doesn't feel comfortable that's when I know maybe its not for us.

loubian

loubian wrote: »

Thanks for the tip. I'll try it tomorrow. I do know I have to do what I think is right, but then I suppose, as a first time mum, you second guess yourself as your mother and grandmother have gone through it before! She is fast asleep now as she got a good bit of wind up this evening. Hopefully tomorrow ww will have a better day

You're right about second guessing yourself. No matter what anyone else might say, there's no experience in the world as nerve-wracking as being a first-time parent.

And it's only a month, so you're still an inexperienced first-time parent, and she's an inexperienced new baby. So sometimes it's going to be a bit difficult for both of you.

There's nothing wrong with listening to the advice of others, and Jaysus knows they'll give you lots of it whether you ask for it or not. But trust your own feelings as well. If she's crying, and it makes you and her feel better to pick her up, then there's no harm in that.

Maybe later on there might be times when you'll need to try a bit of tough love, when you have to work out things like getting her to sleep in her own cot and room. But given how young she is you're not at that stage yet.

A good few years ago I recall my wife and I deciding that if we thought our little fella needed picking up and cuddling, then that's exactly what we'd do. We got different advice from parents, grandparents, friends and relatives, but we decided this was our way and we were going to stick with it.

We now have an almost 17-year-old who is as big as me, and he is as happy and well-adjusted as we could ask for. Not only that, but he'll throw his arms round either of us for a hug at the drop of a hat - even if he's worn out with tiredness or if we've had a ferocious row earlier on. I couldn't buy the feeling that gives me with all the money on Earth, and I wouldn't swap it for anything.

Best of luck to you.

Synyster Shadow

My little guy did this and it was ritual every night could time it and it only started at 3 weeks lasted for 5 weeks. I was told oh you'll end up walking him to sleep and your spoiling him and your gonna pay for that but go with your gut. I can't watch him cry. I even took him into our bed when he didn't sleep great and he'd sleep there. He's now 4 and half months and sleeps perfect in his cot. No arguments just in he goes and off to sleep talkin to himself so did him no harm been with us so much. They find the world scary and I know I'd do the same all over again. Do what you want ignore what people Tell you I think there old fashioned as is my lot and stuck in there ways but we'll have our ways

dublinlady

We found that happened with our daughters if she was overtired - try settle her - in your arms - about an hr after the start of every feed - get to it before she's tired - when they fall asleep when they overtired they don't tend to settle well.
I also agree with everything the others say - I wouldn't worry about how or where they sleep until 3/4 months - before that they are so vulnerable they just need hugs - but obviously on flip side u need a break - hopefully if u get her to sleep in your arms before she's too tired when you out her down she'll stay asleep for much longer periods. It's hard work - so try and enjoy the bits u won't have forever - trying to get a cuddle out of my 18 month old even sometimes is a challenge - she's all about the independence

2xj3hplqgsbkym

Some very good advice given her.

I just want to add that I think when baby is lying down, wind pains are worse. So lifting baby naturally helps with the wind aswell as giving comfort.

2xj3hplqgsbkym

Some very good advice given her.

I just want to add that I think when baby is lying down, wind pains are worse. So lifting baby naturally helps with the wind aswell as giving comfort.

dharma200

My three kids practically lived in a front sling at this age.... Meant I had hands and legs free, the movement and closeness works wonders.... Soothes baby and makes baby feel secure.... I could go to the loo, walk around , do everything really....

Never mind all the tales of making a rod for your back, do what feels right and this will help get into a routine that you and baby can live with. Babies at that age do not have the capacity to manipulate their surroundings,mother need comfort and reassurance.... My advice is during the day a sling really helps... Infacol never worked for me x walking around loads with baby in sling and then working out a way to gently take baby out of sling when sleeping into Moses basket or cot.... X good luck and congrats

traineeacc

My own mother and my mil were at polar opposites! My mother was all about bonding etc mil was all about let him cry self soothe etc. I went with my heart and adopted a similar approach that my mum had with us - I broke every 'rule' in the book,I picked him up when he needed me,he came into the bed when he had trouble sleeping. All of the above he grew out of, I have a very social 1 year little man who sleeps 8-8 no hassle,I get kisses and cuddles out of the blue! Love that! My mum did exact same with us, all of us grew up to be confident self assured individuals.

I am totally of the opinion that newborns need the attention, I just think it must be so scary to be landed in this big scary world and the comfort of having mammy there fosters the confidence to explore and take it all in.
Try trust your instincts because deep down you know what feels right for your child

liliq

I would second the suggestion of a sling. Babywearing Ireland have great advice and a library of good slings.

sbsquarepants

loubian wrote: »

My baby is a month old on Thursday. The last few days, she's slept very short intervals. She seems to have a problem with getting up wind n sometimes It seems like she us straining to go number two. She does go daily though..

Happy 1 month birthday!
My daughter used to make that straining noise all the time, it's really disconcerting, worrying even at times. We actually brought her back to both the public health nurse and the GP because she sounded like she was in serious discomfort, they both said it's just a noise that some babies make and she'll grow out of it, which thankfully she did after about 3 to 4 months. As for the wind, infocol works wonders, i can't recommend it highly enough.

AshAdele

http://www.babywearingireland.ie/
babywearing ireland have a sling library where you can rent a few to see which suits you.

there are many different types so dont get overwhelmed! for a newborn you could try a stretchy wrap which are easy to use.

there is also a facebook group that you can join were they give advise and sell/swap slings its worth a look.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/182364631890918/

How Strange

loubian my 4 month old daughter slept on me for the first 11 weeks. I'd half prop myself up with pillows so I was still kind of lying down and I'd put a pillow under the elbow of the arm she was resting on. By doing this we all got some sleep.

Last night she was totally bunged up with a cold and couldn't breathe. All age wanted to do was sleep. I tied putting her lying on my chest and she didn't like it. She wanted to be back in her Moses basket. No one slept here last night and I really missed being able to lull her to sleep on my chest.

So don't worry about what they like at a month old. They change so quickly at this age that tomorrow she mightn't want to snuggle up against you anymore and you'll miss it.

Also ignore the well intentioned advice about not spoiling babies. No baby was ever loved or cuddled or held too much.