Inappropriate touching

LegacyUser

First time poster here.

I have a bit of an issue in work. I'm in a team that I love and the work is great too gererally really happy. A new girl started from a different team with us - I'd talk to her sometimes here and there. Since starting she has been very very affectionate to me, she puts her arm around me and rubs my hand and leg she constantly rubs my cheek and if I've got something on my face she rubs it off. She pushes my hair behind my ear and is generally very close. Other people on my team have noticed it too. This is happening every day

When she does it I literally freeze, except the other day she said I had something on my face and started rubbing it and while she was doing it she said do u mind if I get it off and I said no and pulled her hand away.

To be honest I don't know what to do, she's married so I don't think shes a lesbian but she doesnt do it to any other women on my team. She knows that I'm in a relationship too with a man, so I dont see how I could have given off any strange vibes. I'm generally a bubbly friendly person to everyone so maybe she confused those actions? Should I say something to her? To HR? To my manager?

Thanks for the advice - this is really affecting me in work

Rosy Posy

I think you need to approach it with the girl in question before taking it higher. You just need to make it clear that your uncomfortable. Try putting some physical distance between you and her- if she goes to touch you take a step back. If she puts her hand on you gently but firmly remove it. If she doesn't get the message then take her aside and just explain to her that you value your personal space and she needs to respect that. It doesn't need to be a drama or awkward. She probably doesn't realise she is making you feel uncomfortable and I think it's only fair that you let her know this before you go above her head.

Merkin

I would definitely say it to her and give her be chance to rectify the situation rather than going to HR. Next time she does it, you simply need to say "would you mind not doing that please, it makes me uncomfortable". You couldn't be any clearer and if she has an ounce of cop on she will get the message.

One shot on kill

Or the next time she does it you say.

Jasus if I didn't know any better I'd say you were hitting on me.

She will either say I am or no way.

Then you either got your point across and she will watch what She does around you. Or you put her straight and listen I'm all for lesbian relationships but I'm very clearly not into having one myself.

tinkerbell

OP, you need to say something to her. What she is doing is a gross invasion of your personal space. Next time she does it, step back and create distance between you and say that she's making you mega uncomfortable when she does that and you value your personal space. If she won't stop, then you go higher, but hopefully she'll get the message.

trio

I'd say its a clear case of "girlcrush".

I'd make a joke out of it, after all you have to keep working with her, right? And I'm guessing this happens when everyone else is around? So it'd be really awkward to make a big scene.

This once happened to me a couple of times and the next time I shouted in a humorous manner "Woah, personal bubble!" whilst quickly drawing a circle in the air. They laughed along too (what else could they do? We were in front of everyone) but it never happened again.