Alcoholic husband may be stealing money

flahers

I'm in a terrible dilemma presently. I think my functioning alcoholic husband may have taken money from his workplace. Money went missing last year and when I was searching in the house for something I misplaced I found envelopes from his work that were ripped open and varying amounts written on each envelope that would amount in total to what's missing. I took this evidence from it's hiding place and have it somewhere safe but am in a dreadful state. it was bad enough living with the alcohol abuse and drink driving but now this. I'm awaiting an appointment with a counsellor but is this something I should talk to him/her about. My daughter hates him and our family unit is broken. As an only child I have no one to discuss it with so I'm suffering alone. Has anyone any ideas as to what they would do if in my shoes.

username123

Are you still in a relationship with your husband?

I am the child of an alcoholic father and my mother always chose my father over us too, breaking our family unit and standing by the alcoholic. Unfortunately as alcoholism is a progressive disease, there was no happy ending as my father just got worse and worse, lost his job, lost any friends, all family disconnected from them both. She suffered a massive stroke in her 50s from the stress of it all and ended badly physically and mentally disabled with only an alcoholic to care for her. They both died a short time later as a result of his neglect in shocking conditions.

I think you need to look at the bigger picture here. He probably stole the money. It's not your responsibility. If it was a normal person maybe you could say it to them, but an alcoholic will lie and deny and it will only cause more problems to bring it up tbh. I'm not sure why this seems such a terrible thing to you, he is an alcoholic, he will do anything to feed his addiction. Being an alcoholic means absolutely no regard for anything at all except feeding that addiction. It wipes out the personality and leaves a husk that will do anything to get more drink. Family, friends, interests, hobbies, value system - all thrown aside in the interests of more booze. That's what it is.

You probably need to look at getting some support if you choose to stay in this situation. I highly recommend Alanon, it saved me.

If I could go back and change anything in life it would be to change that my mother stayed with my father, she made the wrong choice, for herself and for her kids. He lied and stole and ruined many lives. She enabled him to do all of that.