Anybody else not interact with members of their family?

OU812

I've about 4/5 cousins I interact with & another 2/3 I don't have anything to do with because they're idiots mostly.

However, last night I remembered that's only one side of the family. I have the whole other side who I barely know & would most probably pass in the street without recognising. There's 11 of them divided between two families & I think the last time I saw any of them was at the funeral of the father of several of them about 10 years ago.

bbam

Indeed..
One sister and we barely speak, no reason to either..

She's an idiot, married an idiot and their kids for the most part are idiots too.. into all sorts of dodgy crap, don't want my kids to know them really at all..

pauliebdub

Aunts and uncles I try and keep in touch with and would make an effort for.

I have loads of cousins, some I haven't seen or heard from in about 20 years, others I hear from from time to time maybe meet once a year. Most I wouldn't really choose to be friends with to be honest.

My sister and most of my mother's side of the family.

alwaysadub

My brother and most of my cousins on my dads side. See them at a big occasion and that's bout it

The Backwards Man

I chat to everyone, if people don't want to speak to me that's their problem, but for me, life's too short to fall out with people.

princess-lala

One of my two brothers and my father!

pharmaton

most of my family use facebook to interact but I'm not on it so wouldn't see much of them outside of that.

Wibbles19

About 15 yrs now since I had any voluntary contact with my family, only see them when a funeral happens. It's a combination of having satan as a sister and being the first one of my family's generation of having a child outside marriage. (Felt like the rest of them waited, with the amount of kids born outside of marriage after me)

mattjack

Don't talk to anyone on my Dads side bar one cousin.
It varies from Jihad to Winter in Stalingrad type offensive with them.At the moment its been silent for about 18 months , but I'm considering more solicitors letters just to act the maggot.

Snowie

there is no side to my family theres 4 of us me my bro dad and mam n aunts uncles nephews cousins gran parents...
I dont honestly get how people take sides in family crap theres 4 of us in ours and we say what we think at the dinner tabble we speak our minds its respected and then we move on.

end of.
This you've got tons of relations tons of family members and what you ignore have of them. Pretty pathetic.. You should know them all and respect them all as they deserve to be fvck id love to have some cousins and stuff. Make christmas more exciting my nephew and I guess my sister an law have really made it a more happy time at christmas before then it was always a little ****.

Serously your lucky in some respects.

But i love the fact theres no drama in my family

Links234

Barely see most of my family, sometimes at Christmas I might see some of them, but most I've not seen in years..

Senna

Don't have too much contact with cousins, all of them are nice people but distance and age differences mean I would see many of them too often.

Royal Irish

I stopped talking to someone in my family in protest to there regular drink driving.

Everyone in my family thinks I'm being childish and a cnut, but I really hate people who drive under the influence.

OU812

I don't even know when we stopped communicating, we used to as kids. I guess maybe something happened between the parents & communication dried up.

It's weird but funny that I totally forgot about half the family existing.

I'm after checking on FB there & a couple of them are on it, might reach out to them through that.

I know that my dad's dad had another child who's almost the same age as dad & that guy has kids my age & probably grandkids too, but they're never mentioned (obviously reasons), I don't think we'll ever get to know that side at all.

take everything

Increasingly I see a lot of craziness (for want of a better word) in my family which before I would have just put up with. Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty flawed myself but I readily admit this stuff and try to deal with any shortcomings I have. I've always felt like the blacksheep. Always felt siblings etc sided against me in pretty much everything- still to this day.
Could really do without that headmelting stuff. Sometimes wonder if I'd be better off not going back for Xmas etc and just be done with it.

princess-lala

My family is full of craziness but there is only one actually taking sides! Parents recently separated! Only myself and one brother talk to each other! Other brother has taken the fathers side!

cursai

Sounds like an epsiode of seventh heaven.....without the forgiveness or non judgement or snobiness

1shot16

I see people posting about having cousins with age gaps!Im 16 all of my cousins are over 22 some nearly 30 but we get on really good.Have a good laugh and the craic at the sessions and family stuff!

ONeill2013

I have 10 cousins which I don't see, most of them are teenagers anyway.

Regarding immediate family, I usually get on with them better when I'm living outside the country.

zcorpian88

Good idea for a thread

Funny enough I talk more with relatives on my Dad's side (the fairly dysfunctional side of the family, they argue and fall out over the stupidest of things! Listening to some of them gives me a headache sometimes) They live nearer to me than most of my mam's side. Wish I could interact with my mam's side more but they are scattered about, I go out to my aunt and uncles house 12 miles away from me on occasions. Can't go out as much as I'd like because the aunt has multiple sclerosis and is on meds for it, they interfere with her general mood so I don't go out. I jump at the chance of going when my mam goes to visit. Another uncle I have on my mam's side I only ever see him at a funeral which sucks because he is good banter, I'd say a leap year happens more often than me seeing my uncle! He only lives in Wicklow (I'm in Kilkenny)

As for my cousins, they are grand, most of them turned out sane even the ones from the dysfunctional side.

zcorpian88

Royal Irish wrote: »

I stopped talking to someone in my family in protest to there regular drink driving.

Everyone in my family thinks I'm being childish and a cnut, but I really hate people who drive under the influence.

Stick to your guns man, my own dad did it a couple of months ago, boiled my piss when he did it, he did it after 4 pints on Christmas Eve night after we all went down to our local down the road, we walked back while he just got in the car and drove back. Must be like a 10 minute walk away. If I did it, I would have got a bollocking Christmas or not Christmas but when he does it, my mam is in there to correct me and telling me not to criticize him. Just grinds my gears, the amount of people killed on the roads by drink drivers. Is it horrible to wish your own father to be busted for drink driving? He doesn't do it all the time but to my knowledge he has done it at least 3 times. Probably did it more often when the cops didn't give a shyte about it 20+ years ago.

bitburger

Senna wrote: »

Don't have too much contact with cousins, all of them are nice people but distance and age differences mean I would see many of them too often.

im the same, have over 60 and only talk to a few regularly, when i moved out for college one of my cousins who lived where i was moving to reached out and now we are the very best of friends and have both helped eachother through some tough times,

Caonima

Older sister.... she sided with other members of my family against me earlier this year in a dispute, despite knowing she was in the wrong, as were they. Previously, I hadn't spoken to her for 3 years for an argument one Christmas, and had patched things up about a year when she pulled that crap again. Had even gone back home to her wedding last year and given her e1,000 in an envelope as a present.

Pretty certain I'll never speak to her again... some people are just not worth it, family or not.

GTDolanator

My father has 5 siblings that are still alive and he talks to 1 of them,numerous cousins ive never spoke too.My mother has 2 brothers and ive never met them
Great family

mattjack

zcorpian88 wrote: »

Stick to your guns man, my own dad did it a couple of months ago, boiled my piss when he did it, he did it after 4 pints on Christmas Eve night after we all went down to our local down the road, we walked back while he just got in the car and drove back. Must be like a 10 minute walk away. If I did it, I would have got a bollocking Christmas or not Christmas but when he does it, my mam is in there to correct me and telling me not to criticize him. Just grinds my gears, the amount of people killed on the roads by drink drivers. Is it horrible to wish your own father to be busted for drink driving? He doesn't do it all the time but to my knowledge he has done it at least 3 times. Probably did it more often when the cops didn't give a shyte about it 20+ years ago.

Stand by your own principals , my own family was divided by those who thought drink driving was ok and those who didn't.

Eventually one of my uncles killed a cyclist while drunk driving.... the usual crap rolled out about the cyclist having no lights , my uncle being unlucky etc ..roll on a few years and that uncles son , died in a single vehicle drink driving crash with the equivalent of 6 pints in him and again people in my own family lamented how unfortunate he was and that sure it was just his usual few pints.

zl1whqvjs75cdy

Barely speak to my father due to him being a **** of the highest order. That puts a strain on the relationship between myself and my mother and my sister as I hate being back in the family home. (My sister still lives there for college). It is kind of depressing but hey what can you do.

wexfordman2

Mother decided to cut off contact about 2 years ago (it's a regular thing with her, done it about 5 times since I was 12).

2 brothers don't bother stayed ng in touch, one pretty much does only when he needs something (i live the opposite end of the country, and he regularly passes within 5 mins of my house but never bothers to drop in), so I've given up on that one.

2 sisters, one in a commune type setup in Wales, asked that we all not contact her again until she was ready, that was about 5 years ago, although she has over the last few weeks contacted other family members on fb.

The other sister I havnt spoken to in 2 years either, this one coincided with my mothers latest episode, so the two are linked.

My father,great man, passed about 15 years ago, and thinking about it, it was him that kept us all together (excluding my mother, she left when I was 12).

So that leaves one sister that I am still in regular contact with, but she is in switzerland!!

I have a wife and two young kids of my own, and tbh, to protect them, I am happier that the my siblings are not in contact, I dont think they would be a good influence on them. (I dont think people who are that willing to cut off contact, or are that flighty are entitled to have a relationship with my kids, it was hard enough trying to explain why their grandmother doesnt want to see them anymore).

Barna77

I have two older brothers. I don't get along that well with the eldest.

We grew up far away from all the extended family -uncles, aunts, cousins...-. So most of my cousins live in the same town/area and they formed their own clique, and they made it clear that my brothers and me have no place there. I've found about marriages, births and divorces through facebook ffs. I haven't seen them in years and really don't care much about them.

joe stodge

My mothers side of the family for best part. I have two uncles who fleeced my grandparents house of anything of worth when my grandfather died and then denied the stuff they took was ever there.

Seachmall

I've probably seen every member of my extended family in the last two years. I don't avoid them but I wouldn't go out of my way to keep in touch either.

I do visit my sister as often as I can though.

MonstaMash

Don't keep in touch with any of my family, no bad blood, we're just different people with completely different lives & interests...

In times of crisis or difficulties though, one phone call & I'd go through Dantés inferno for any of them.

We're dysfunctional but close when it counts.

Sgt Hartman

Senna wrote: »

Don't have too much contact with cousins, all of them are nice people but distance and age differences mean I would see many of them too often.

It's pretty much the same for me and my own cousins although I would see more cousins on my Mam's side of the family than I would on my Dad's.

I get on great with parents and also with my brother and sister although I'll always be the "baby brother" to them even though I'm almost 34. It's like they still have dominion over me and still berate me if I do anything stupid, not like they ever done anything stupid in their lives:mad: Still love 'em to bits though.

wp_rathead

have loads of cousins i barely know, only ever meet them at funerals and the odd wedding - they seem sound but just I have too many ha

i'm close enough to my immediate family, infact I am goin to Edinburgh with my sis tomorrow to the fringe festival and was away in Italy last year with my dad to a rugby game.. that said I couldn't live with any of them

Cody Pomeray

God I can't imagine going a day without speaking to family members. Thread is a bit of an eye-opener though.

I'm sure everyone in a situation where they don't speak to their families have just as fulfilling and enduring personal support from alternative relationships, or from their new families.

At the end of the day it doesn't matter where you get your support from. I'd sooner have the support of some very good friends than a disordered and destructive family situation.

Femme_Fatale

My friend put in a planning application and her mother put in an objection to it! :eek:

The same friend's father has never seen some of his grandchildren because his thundering ex wife has poisoned the kids' father (her son) against him!!

Another friend's brother is an emotionally and physically abusive nutter - and lives at home with his mother still, whom he has wrapped around his finger, and the two of them give my friend an awful time.

So sometimes people have no other choice but to keep away from their families as much as possible.

Barna77

I've spent months without calling home so my parents would ask my friends back home if they had any news about me. My father has been sick lately and I call more regularly now.

From experience, families fall apart after deaths, wills and the slight chance of inheriting something

Mr Benevolent

I don't see most of my extended family (cousins, uncles, aunts, grandparents etc) more than once a year, no bad blood, I'm just not very interested in them and they're not interested in me. No reason for forcing people to stay in touch. I get on with the people who count (my mum, dad & brother, sis in law & niece) very well.

kylith

Most of my dad's side is a mystery to me, we never see the cousins, and see the uncles and aunts very rarely.

Was out for a night in the hometown several years ago and got chatting to a guy; tall, handsome. I was very interested until my brother comes up, "Ah, so you know your cousin James!" I was both mortified and livid.

Ken.

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

My friend put in a planning application and her mother put in an objection to it! :eek:

The same friend's father has never seen some of his grandchildren because his thundering ex wife has poisoned the kids' father (her son) against him!!

Another friend's brother is an emotionally and physically abusive nutter - and lives at home with his mother still, whom he has wrapped around his finger, and the two of them give my friend an awful time.

So sometimes people have no other choice but to keep away from their families as much as possible.

I know someone who's estranged alcoholic mother snuck(?) into the church part of her wedding and when the priest done the "does anyone object" bit she stood up and said yes.

KingOfFairview

I see all mine regularly and generally get on with them, bit after years of having to deal with lunacy from a few I've stepped back a bit, emotionally. Now I've never been less stressed and get in well with them.

Ruu

We are civil with majority of relatives except an uncle from my fathers side. They fell out over land that was left in a will so we never really see them aside from the holidays.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Don't speak to my mothers family at all and cut the ground from under them every chance I get.

Don't have much family on my dads side but speak to most of them.

Clareboy

The only time I see my cousins is at funerals, so we are obviously a family only in death. We never get invited to joyful occasions such as weddings and birthdays because we are not good enough for them.

happyviolet

Royal Irish wrote: »

I stopped talking to someone in my family in protest to there regular drink driving.

Everyone in my family thinks I'm being childish and a cnut, but I really hate people who drive under the influence.

You dead right too. I hate people like that too, there have been enough warnings over the years that drink-driving is down-right dangerous, so the fact that people are still at it are just selfish b**tards, imo.