Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

I invented a joke

  • 18-08-2013 8:59pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,653 ✭✭✭✭


    Invented?? Created?? Devised???

    Anyhoo! See below. What you think of it???






    A duck walks into a bar.
    "Any quack" says the barman.


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,887 ✭✭✭Mariasofia


    Methinks its time to go back to the drawing board :). Ah twas alright but it didnt quack me up.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,056 ✭✭✭Sparks43


    Q: What time does a duck wake up?
    A: At the quack of dawn!


    Q: What do ducks get after they eat?
    A: A bill!



    Q: What do you call a crate full of ducks?
    A: A box of quackers!



    Q: Who stole the soap?
    A: The robber ducky!


    Q: What do you call two ducks and a cow?

    A: Quackers and Milk.





    Q: What do you get if you cross a duck with fireworks?

    A: A firequacker!







    Q: What's another name for a clever duck?

    A: A wise quacker!





    Q: What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?



    A: Foul (fowl) weather.





    Q: What says "Quick, Quick!"?

    A: A duck with the hiccups





    Q: Why do ducks watch the news?

    A: For the feather forecast!





    Q: What has webbed feet and fangs?

    A: Count Duckula







    Q: Where did the duck go when he was sick?



    A: To the Ducktor







    Q: What did the detective duck say to his partner?



    A: I hope we Quack this case.







    Q: What did the duck say to the banker?

    A: My bill is bigger than yours.







    Q: Which side of a duck has the prettiest feathers?

    A: The outside!





    Q: What did the duck carry his schoolbooks in?

    A: His Quackpack





    Q: Why did the duck fly south for the winter?

    A: Because it was too far to walk.





    Q: Which animal grows down?

    A: A duck





    Q: Why did the duck cross the park?

    A: To get to the other slide.





    Q: What's a Duckworth?

    A: I don't know, what does a Henweigh?



    Q: How do you get down off a horse?

    A: You don't get down off a horse... you get down off a duck.





    Customer: How much is that duck?
    Shopkeeper: Ten dollars.
    Customer: Okay, could you please send me the bill?
    Shopkeeper: I'm sorry, but you'll have to take the whole bird.



    A man and a duck are walking down the street together. Suddenly the man notices a low-flying airplane coming right for them. The man yells "DUCK!!!!" and the duck looks back at the man with an angry face and yells "MAN!!!!"

    A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, "Do you have any chapstick?" When the pharmacist hands it to him, the duck replies, "Thanks, just put it on my bill."


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 75 ✭✭UpTheLilies


    amdublin wrote: »
    Invented?? Created?? Devised???

    Anyhoo! See below. What you think of it???






    A duck walks into a bar.
    "Any quack" says the barman.
    What is a wok?

    It's what you thwow at a wabbit when you have no wifle :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,195 ✭✭✭✭jimgoose


    5512560036_d6bd3c4606_z.jpg


Advertisement