guy cancels first date

LegacyUser

twice!!! i met this guy in a bar 2 weeks ago. not the usual type i go for, but very cute. we got on great, had loads to talk about and he seemed really really interested in me and i am really interested in him. he came back to my place, but we did not sleep together, we were up talking for ages, had a bit of a kiss and he went home. he text me right after he left. so far so good.

he wants to organise a date, suggests a day, and cancels at the last minute, a pretty fair enough excuse and asks me when im free again. i pick a day.
that day he has to cancel again, again with a believable excuse, and wants to change it again. i dont give him another day, but just tell him to let me know if he wants to go for a pint later in the week. he said he would.

whats he playing at?? his excuses were fair enough, but still, we havent even had a first date yet, and to me warning signs go off. but he is lovely, and we really clicked.
should i just leave it go? i dont really want to cos i do like him, but i just dont want to make an eejit of myself either.

its been a long time since i dated, and not used to this kind of thing

Merkin

This would cause alarm bells to go off for me and I wouldn't engage with him any longer. Maybe because I'm a cynical old tart I've also been in your situation when on the dating scene and this guy is displaying all the signs of a messer and time waster. Reasonable if he had to cancel the first date, life gets in the way sometimes and that's fair enough. But unless his Mother died or he ran over the family pet on his way to meet you then there really is no acceptable excuse for him letting you down a second time. Maybe he's just not quite as nice as you thought....

Esoteric_

If he can't even organise himself enough for one date, how would things ever progress?

ibarelycare

It's difficult to say, as you haven't said what his reasons are. He could be a flake, but you have said that they seemed like legitimate reasons. If you really like him then give him one more chance. It's highly unlikely that something else will HAPPEN to come up a third time, so if he cancels again then leave it.

Stavro Mueller

It looks like you've left the ball in his court now...will be interesting to see does he come back and tries to organise something else. I'm mostly thinking he's a flake too but you can never know. Despite my misgivings there could be legitimate reasons. I know if I was in his shoes and really wanted to meet someone again I'd be doing everything in my power to make sure that date did happen.

heretochat

Sounds to me like this guy is a player and could have more than one girl on the go...

I would stay well away if I were you

strobe

Ah it's perfectly possible he did have two things come up and had no choice but to cancel. But if he is genuine and interested he'll be making a big effort with the next date having had to let you down twice.

So I'd give him another chance, if he get's back to you and seems like he's trying to make up for the previous disappoinent, great.

But if he doesn't get back onto you sharpish mad to make another date and make it up to you then you know it's best to leave things.

silly

It is possible that he had 2 things come up, as you said they were fairly reasonable excuses? Its just unfortunate. How was his manner when he cancelled? was he very apologetic?? or just "meh.."..?
I had a first date cancelled on me once, we are together 7 years now, married for almost 2 and have a baby...
Give him one more chance....third times a charm.

heretochat

heretochat wrote: »

Sounds to me like this guy is a player and could have more than one girl on the go...

I would stay well away if I were you

I don't get this. The guy is single so of course he's allowed to. There's the chance that this girl could win his heart though. Who knows.