Feel used

LegacyUser

I've been single for the past year. I fairly attractive so I get a lot of attention from guys & i've gone on quite a few dates over the past 7 or 8 months. It's gotten to the point where I'm not interested in making the effort any more because I just have not been feeling a spark with anyone.

So Saturday night I met a guy out and bang there was a spark, ended up together for the night chatting & laughing. He approached me & initiated things. He came back to my place and we slept together. All great, he was working sunday morning so was leaving early and I was so sleepy I didn't even think to exchange numbers & he obviously didn't think to ask either... or had no interest.

I'd been thinking about him since so looked him up on Facebook today & lo and behold he has a girlfriend. A stunning one at that, I mean looking at her pics she might actually be a model, some of them look professionally shot!

I'm annoyed at myself for not seeing through it. I thought I could pick "those" guys out a mile off but no... I actually felt a spark with him. And I'm annoyed at him for doing it, I mean it's just greedy... is it not enough for him that he has a beautiful girlfriend!

Euh, I know there isn't going to be much in the way of advice but I'm just so disappointed & in need of a little rant :-(

Neyite

OP, what advice are you looking for?

Personal Issues/Relationship Issues is not for general rants I'm afraid, so if you are not looking for advice, I'll be closing this thread.

LegacyUser

Some advice on how to feel better or another perspective maybe?

December2012

You weren't to know.

How could you know?

Honestly, don't be too hard on yourself.

beks101

This is about him being a selfish, disrespectful scumbag of a human being; it's absolutely not any kind of reflection on who you are or what you're worth as a woman, so don't even go there.

How were you to know, honestly? Your only fault here was giving an attractive guy WHO APPROACHED YOU and who you felt a rare spark with, the benefit of the doubt and assuming by his actions that he was single. Because you're an honest person; he is not.

Take it as a bullet dodged and a lesson next time to maybe hold out a little and get to know someone more thoroughly before taking things further.

This is not to imply that you were in any way wrong; you're the single one, you can have sex with whoever the hell you want to have sex with. But in a drunken lustful haze warning signs or even just that "gut" feeling about someone can go unnoted (Ive been there too) and if casual sex usually ends in you tracing the guy back in the sober light of day and wanting more from him, maybe it's better for you to get to know and trust the guy first so you don't end up feeling "used" again.

There's lots of men, many of them attached and married, willing to go out & jump into bed with an attractive woman who looks their way and none of them are wearing a neon sign that says "HAVE A GIRLFRIEND" over their heads. So give yourself a break.

Just thank your lucky stars that you're not his girlfriend, God love her.

heretochat

Agree with beks on this one... He is the one with the girlfriend and he was happy to cheat on her with you... You are indeed lucky that you are not the girlfriend..

Chalk this one down as a bad experience...

He is obviously the type that will do this to his girlfriend again and I wouldn't waste my time think ing or worrying about him..

LegacyUser

well op, i know the feeling of being used and it sucks!!!! i slept with a close friend once, and about 10 minutes after the sex he told me he wanted to see how he felt about his ex by sleeping with someone else, i.e. me! really hurtful!! and i thought he was better than that. i also have been single for about a year, not having met anyone i found that connection with yet. i was annoyed with myself for allowing it to happen without thinking about it first, no drink involved or anything, just hanging out one evening. then i realised i did nothing wrong at all... it was him who acted the a-hole in this, so dont beat yourself up at all!!! its a really horrible thing to happen, but he's the scumbag in this situation. ive basically lost a close friend over something like this, just be grateful you werent more emotionally involved with him (as in, ye'd been seeing eachother a while) and you can move on and find someone who deserves you!!!

jimd2

Probably better to avoid one night stands if you cannot be cold and clinical about them.

Better chance of seeing if a guy is interested in you by holding out. At least you will find out if he is only after one thing.