So I cheated..

LegacyUser

Just before the start of the summer I was with this amazing girl. We got along really well, I had known her for a long time and I always had a huge soft spot for her.

But, I want to explain that previous to us being together I was in a fairly serious relationship that lasted close to three years. So being 17 that's major part of my life and I never did "play the field".
So for the best part of a year, I did try to play around. Never anything serious, just going to clubs or parties looking for the shift. And to be honest I loved it. I didn't care about anyone! It was all so simple.

And then I found out that the girl I had always had a crush on liked me back. And I was delighted! Didn't exactly jump straight into a relationship. We were together a few nights before I worked up the courage to ask her out.

So I went out and f****d up big time. I was in a club with a few of my mates when a pretty girl was flirting with me. Loving the attention, I went along with it.
After 2-3 minutes of this she lent in for a kiss. Really, there was nothing to it. The type of kiss you'd give to your mammy when you were young.
What scared me is, I did want to go further with that girl.

Obviously I was quite disappointed with myself, I'd never consider myself as even remotely the type to cheat. But I really let myself down that night.

The next morning, I met up with my ex and told her straight away.She was very upset, and quite confused. Really there wasn't much drama, she left without saying anything.

The next day she texted me saying there was a lot left unsaid and that she wanted to meet to talk about it. We met up and she said she would forgive me for kissing the girl.

So, anyway like an ejit. I told her no. I think we should break up. I had cheated on her, and I wasn't sure if I'd do it again.

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Now, because we have a close group of mates we see each other a lot. And yeah, more than once she has met someone she fancies in a club and got with them. And it kills me. I turn green with jealousy. Which no doubt, she loves.

So really, I do think I have a chance with her still. Do I just need to cop on and control myself when I'm out? That maybe I hadn't fully got messing around out of my system and that's why I wanted more from the girl in the club.
Or am I kidding myself. And the reason I wanted more from that girl is because me and my ex aren't meant to be.

Cheers if you read that. Just let me know what you think

Minnie_

hi I have been that girl before, and no matter what ur true feelings shes just gonna think your like all the rest.

She more than likely does fancy you and shes probably trying to get bk at you by meeting other people.

what you need to do is let her no you acted dumb and also she probably doesn't trust u atm so u need to earn her trust back.

It may not happen over night but if ur that keen and so is she it can work out.

My boyfriend cheated on me 5 years ago, we broke up for 8 months (meeting in between but also other people) I was 15 then and loved him to bits. I didn't trust him at all but eventually we gave it another go and slowly I started to trust him again. We are still together now and stronger than ever. Sometimes when someone cheats in a relationship, it either breaks them or makes them and its best to happen early in a relationship than too late

Best of luck with whatever happens

Katie1289

That's so difficult ask yourself how much you love this girl..... You acted a complete fool and the thought of hurting her so much again should deter you from cheating ... If you love her enough. Maybe I'm being idealistic but she was willing to give you a second chance which shows she really cared. also.. seperate your REAL feelings for her from the jealousy! It will cloud your judgement!

December2012

You cheated on her.

Then you dumped her when she would have worked on things. Therefore she had no chance to even tell you how she felt, and she had no chance for you to make her feel better.

Can you understand that you took complete control of the situation and basically didn't have any respect for what she wanted?

IF you can understand that, and IF you want to give it another go, and IF you want to listen to all of the things which this girl wants to say (which she might not be able to communicate right now, and might come out over time), then you could ask her what she thinks.

But if you're not prepared to accept these things, and if you are not prepared to "do the time" so to speak (as in, take whatever kind of upset she wants to discuss or unleash), then don't try to control her again, and leave her alone.

judgefudge

I'd leave her alone to be honest. It sounds like you don't know what you want. You shouldn't have to "control yourself" when out in order not to cheat. If you like going out and getting attention from other girls then by all means do it, but don't drag her into it. It seems like you're just jealous now that she has met other guys.

LegacyUser

Cheers for the replies.
Really writing this out has helped me a lot. I'm going to leave her alone. I'm not giving up on her at all. I really am too crazy about her for that. I am happy not seeing anyone. So like Katie said I'll make sure I'm not feeling like this because of being jealous first.


I really do think she's worth waiting for and I definitely deserve all the digs she is throwing at me.

I'm going to make it up to her