Stay or Go?

LegacyUser

I've been dating a guy for some time now and I'm not sure if it's going anywhere but at the same time I don't want it to be over. It's my first real relationship as such, so I'm not too sure what to expect from it.
I think we want different things from life, which is perhaps going to make it difficult down the road. He's a bit backward in that he has never traveled outside the country before and doesn't have loads of interests. He basically lives for work, TV and going out at the weekend. On the other hand, I'm quite well traveled and have a broad range of interests, so I find him to be a bit boring at times. I've mentioned doing some new things together, which he's welcomed but will never really proactively agree to plans. I get the impression that I do mean a lot to him even though he doesn't show it that much.



I guess my question is; is this all that one should expect from a relationship?
Or should I hold out for someone who I feel is a more perfect match?
Is there something more to being with someone?

Meauldsegosha

Uncertainty wrote: »

I've been dating a guy for some time now and I'm not sure if it's going anywhere but at the same time I don't want it to be over. It's my first real relationship as such, so I'm not too sure what to expect from it.
I think we want different things from life, which is perhaps going to make it difficult down the road. He's a bit backward in that he has never traveled outside the country before and doesn't have loads of interests. He basically lives for work, TV and going out at the weekend. On the other hand, I'm quite well traveled and have a broad range of interests, so I find him to be a bit boring at times. I've mentioned doing some new things together, which he's welcomed but will never really proactively agree to plans. I get the impression that I do mean a lot to him even though he doesn't show it that much.



I guess my question is; is this all that one should expect from a relationship?
Or should I hold out for someone who I feel is a more perfect match?
Is there something more to being with someone?

I would consider respect important in a relationship and as you consider him "a bit backwards" there isn't a lot of respect there.

You shouldn't settle for someone and stay in a relationship just for the sake of staying in the relationship.

Love2u

Uncertainty wrote: »

I've been dating a guy for some time now and I'm not sure if it's going anywhere but at the same time I don't want it to be over. It's my first real relationship as such, so I'm not too sure what to expect from it.
I think we want different things from life, which is perhaps going to make it difficult down the road. He's a bit backward in that he has never traveled outside the country before and doesn't have loads of interests. He basically lives for work, TV and going out at the weekend. On the other hand, I'm quite well traveled and have a broad range of interests, so I find him to be a bit boring at times. I've mentioned doing some new things together, which he's welcomed but will never really proactively agree to plans. I get the impression that I do mean a lot to him even though he doesn't show it that much.



I guess my question is; is this all that one should expect from a relationship?
Or should I hold out for someone who I feel is a more perfect match?
Is there something more to being with someone?

I think it's time to move on, why waste your years with someone who hasn't even got the same interests as you. It can be hard to find a "perfect" match and I'm not sure perfect even exists, however you need at least to have something in common with your partner. You both need to be able to enjoy the same things.

Czarcasm

Uncertainty wrote: »

I've been dating a guy for some time now and I'm not sure if it's going anywhere but at the same time I don't want it to be over. It's my first real relationship as such, so I'm not too sure what to expect from it.
I think we want different things from life, which is perhaps going to make it difficult down the road. He's a bit backward in that he has never traveled outside the country before and doesn't have loads of interests. He basically lives for work, TV and going out at the weekend. On the other hand, I'm quite well traveled and have a broad range of interests, so I find him to be a bit boring at times. I've mentioned doing some new things together, which he's welcomed but will never really proactively agree to plans. I get the impression that I do mean a lot to him even though he doesn't show it that much.


I guess my question is; is this all that one should expect from a relationship?
Or should I hold out for someone who I feel is a more perfect match?
Is there something more to being with someone?

Quite the understatement there OP. In all honesty, you and your boyfriend are polar opposites, but there's almost a sense of intolerance in your post when you refer to your boyfriend as backward and boring, and yourself as well travelled with lots of interests.

You come off awfully cold tbh, and talking in the third person no this is not all one should expect from a relationship, but if one is so dismissive of ones partner, then one shouldn't really expect much more than what you've got right now.

How much do you actually show him what he means to you? Really now, if you were to think about it, how much effort have you put into the relationship to drive it forward? It's stuck in a rut because you've BOTH allowed it to get stuck in a rut once the novelty wore off. Did yourself and your boyfriend ever get to the passion stage at all?

There's a HELL of a lot more OP to being with someone in a relationship where there's chemistry, passion, fun, excitement, frustration, communication, making up... I could go on, but if it's not happening for you OP, then honestly, move on and don't stay with anyone just "until you find something better".

There's no such thing as a perfect match, but there's a hell of a lot closer to it than you have with your boyfriend right now, and staying there out of some sense of misguided "first relationship, must make this work" idealism is only going to make you feel worse.

Lovetochill

I'd rather be single than waste my time on somebody who I think is very backward, boring and has no interests in travelling or anything else.

You both want different things from life then you should leave him and find someone who is better match for you and vice versa.