Instruction Manuals

Amik

Anyone know why instruction manuals in general are so cr*p? (see attached) Even Ikea gets on my nerves sometimes. Are they really that hard to get right?

wazky

Maybe you are missing the manual for the instruction manual?

Tiddlypeeps

What do you mean "even Ikea", aren't they notorious for being the worst culprits for this?

Mr. CooL ICE

Instruction manuals are for those who don't like a challenge

SEPT 23 1989

you only consult the manual when you have made a balls of putting something together

9959

That's easy.

You place the '1 Ball' on the stool, and leave the '2 Ball' on the floor.

I would assume it's done psychologically - when you're finished putting it together, you will have a great sense of accomplishment, before you realize that whatever you bought looks incredibly tacky and you spent so much time putting it together that you just can't be bothered taking it apart and bringing it back.

Ingenious, really.

Essien

There are 4 legs, 4 screw fittings and a table top, how many steps were you expecting?

biko

Manuals are for pussies.
With some duct tape and extra screws/nails I can put anything together without some lame manual.

Peregrine

People actually read the instruction manuals..?

I only read it when I ****ed it up really bad..like if I was making chair and it came out as a wardrobe or something.

Stainless_Steel

Can you honestly not figure out how to put a basic table together?

Amik

Tiddlypeeps wrote: »

What do you mean "even Ikea", aren't they notorious for being the worst culprits for this?

True but in general they seem to put some effort into their instructions, though I get the feeling it's not a couple people in Sweden writing them but suppliers passing on the steps to some graphic designers, as not all the ones I've had to use were helpful.

Also not crazy about their no-words policy. Sure it keeps their translation costs down though.

RoyalMarine

I have never, nor will I ever read an instruction manual.

/I have a penis.

kneemos

Always find when I've managed to put the thing together the instructions make perfect sense.

shruikan2553

biko wrote: »

Manuals are for pussies.
With some duct tape and extra screws/nails I can put anything together without some lame manual.

Extra screw? I always have spares and this thing! Le grille? What the hell is that?

Al_Coholic

le grille..what the hell is that?!!

Cantona's Collars

I love when they include screws or bolts that are only different in length by millimetres,you put a yoke together only to find you've been forcing stuff together by using the wrong bolts.

Frank Black

I don't bother with the instruction manual and will usually just read the quick start guide.
'Assemble Table'.

Amik

zerks wrote: »

I love when they include screws or bolts that are only different in length by millimetres,you put a yoke together only to find you've been forcing stuff together by using the wrong bolts.

+1!! Worst feeling ever after you've realized you forced the wrong screw in!

Frank Black

Amik wrote: »

+1!! Worst feeling ever after you've realized you forced the wrong screw in!

Avoid feelings of shame in the future by discussing it with your girlfriend in advance and using plenty of lube.

Mrmoe

Most instruction manuals are badly put together especially ones with diagrams that try to describe a complicated action. Most furniture that require assembly shouldn't need a manual though.

dgt

I don't need a manual for anything!

Now how the f*ck do I put this glasshouse together.....

Tornaxx

It's always funny to read instruction manuals that have been badly translated from Chinese. Of course, when you're reading them aloud, you have to put on your most racist/unPC Chinese accent.

harney

I'm going to assume the OP is female, as so self respecting man would ever use instructions :cool:

galah

Tornaxx wrote: »

It's always funny to read instruction manuals that have been badly translated from Chinese. Of course, when you're reading them aloud, you have to put on your most racist/unPC Chinese accent.

I'm still waiting for our dishwasher to 'mooing 8 second then stop'.

chewythefirst

Amik wrote: »

Anyone know why instruction manuals in general are so cr*p? (see attached) Even Ikea gets on my nerves sometimes. Are they really that hard to get right?

considering you are looking at the contents page of the manual and not the actual instructions for putting together the simplest thing ikea sells!!! i think you should just give up there mate.

shopaholic01

Should have gone to Peterson's.

martinedwards

seriously???

IKEA instructions are usually a masterpiece of explaining how to build the thing without wasting any ink on using words(that would need translated into 37 or so lanuguages)

anncoates

They're designed to make you so annoyed and frustrated trying to read them that you end up being subtly empowered to tackle the flat pack after all.

Roger_007

What's an instruction manual?

trad

You need to RTFM.

(Read the F**king Manual)

mconigol

I have this table. If you need an instruction manual to put it together you shouldn't be buying self assembly furniture.

It's four screws and four (eight) holes, I've seen toddler games which are more difficult.

CruelCoin

Amik wrote: »

Anyone know why instruction manuals in general are so cr*p? (see attached) Even Ikea gets on my nerves sometimes. Are they really that hard to get right?

Did you really get confused by that? How?

It's a table with 4 bloody screw on legs. You're not building a nuclear reactor......