Is a holiday alone "half a holiday"?

Wanderer2010

I am feeling a bit unsure of myself and would like to get some feedback on this issue. Im in my mid 30s (male)I take a few holidays a year, mostly on my own because Im single and not really interested in dating as of now, the odd time I go with my brother if he is available but of the ones I go to on my own and I admit it to my workmates I got more than a few comments like "I would never go on my own, what would you do at night? Id feel very out of place drinking on my own, I need someone in the photos with me". They speak as if the holiday is all about drinking and is somehow less of a holiday when alone.

Thing is, I have really loved my solo holidays and getting the chance to see famous sights, day trips, eating in different places and talking to different people, plus it feels good to be your own boss with regards what to see etc. Now i do sometimes feel lonely in the evening thinking "what should I be doing now, it would be nice to have a laugh and a drink with a few people", but this feeling does fade and Im usually ready for my next adventure the next morning. But Im starting to think that holidays are only "real" if shared with people, and I resent this feeling as I was enjoying them up to now, and I have taken loads of photos (got others to take me!) and consider a holiday something where you learn of the local culture and see interesting places, not a place to get hammered every night.

Would like a bit of feedback or opinions please people, do you think going on holiday alone makes your holiday somehow inferior than a group of laughing, drinking, up for a good time mates? Is it weird to enjoy your own company?

Boombastic

No. I think holidaying alone is good because you can decide your own schedule. People who say it's weird lack the confidence to do it themselves or are the type of people who need approval from others.

DoozerT6

I posted in a similar thread to this a few months ago, so I'll just copy my response here:

"I'm not sure about holidaying alone - I have however lived, studied and worked abroad alone. That's one thing, you kinda have to immerse yourself in the local culture etc. to make a few friends and make your way while you're there. But holidays? If I was just going to be ambling around for a week or two seeing the sights, personally I think I'd want someone with me. I spend enough time alone at home, it might be nice to share the experiences you'd have on holidays with someone else. JMO though. You may love holidaying alone if your normal life at home is frenetic, and full of other people and their demands. Mine is fairly quiet, so I think I'd need someone with me to offset feeling a bit lonely. "

ABajaninCork

God, no!! I've been away by myself (single female) and went off to Rhodes. Best holiday ever!!

Made loads of friends out there, but also spent time alone exploring or just sitting on the beach with an Ouzo and a book watching the sun go down...You can do whatever you want, whenever you want.

I reckon your mates are just jealous!

Miaireland

I have only done the solo holiday recently and Loved it!!! I did what I wanted when I wanted, didn't have to think about what someone else would enjoy/dislikedtheir budget etc.

I must confess I did bring my kindle when eating out but mainly used it as a prop to people watch without people noticing rather than any other reason. Believe me nearly every night I heard a row between people on holidays together.

Like you I am in my 30's, single (and not interested to be otherwise tbh) The only thing. i regret is that. i did not do it sooner.

I agree that when you talk about doing a holiday solo that some friends/workmates look at you odd and say they would hate it, but I found that they are of the ones who were in holidays in X, who would have loved to go to y but couldn't because their partner/spouse/relation/friend did not want to.

My advice is go on you holidays and forget what anyone else thinks.
(Sorry for typos, using a tablet and I am crapat typing on it!)

Stavro Mueller

Your holidays sound great. Can I come? :P

In my opinion, different people like different sorts of holidays. I've never been on a sun holiday in my life - the idea of spending a week lounging on a beach in some resort or by a pool feels me with utter terror. Don't mind the sheeple and what they think. I'm sure there are people reading this thread who wish they had the courage to do what you do.

cloudatlas

So what you're really asking is should you worry about your colleagues think? No, sure you know what it's like you've had some great experiences traveling alone. Some people wouldn't dream of going to the cinema on their own. I think we are conditioned to think this way. That's nonsense. I went on a great city break recently. I stayed in a hostel though so if I wanted to talk to people I'd have that option but most of the time I was on my own, it was great. The majority of the great travel writers strike out alone into the great beyond

Blingy

Your holidays sound great. Your colleagues are jealous as they don't have the confidence to do the same thing. Go and enjoy your holidays dont worry what others think!!

misschoo

I went to the Maldives by myself for 10 days - bearing in mind this is the most couplely honeymoon place EVER & I had a ball!! There were a few other single people there too so I was ok with it. I think it's easier for a guy as you can sit in a bar etc without people thinking you want to be picked up as it would look for a girl sitting on her own. The best advice I got was - bring a book so you don't have to be sitting there looking into space!! I went to Spain a couple of years ago & no problems again. I like my own company so maybe that's why it works for me. The only disadvantage is probably lots of "selfie" photos!!

ongarboy

I had a workmate who always went on multiple holidays a year alone. The difference was he didn't care that he went alone and was always telling us about what he got up to, the fun he had and as a result he met loads of new people on those holidays. Now, he did tend to stay in hostel type places and bars where you tend to interact more with other solo travellers so the opportunity for meeting others is easier. Saying that, some solo travellers really do want time out for themselves and are content not to meet or join up with others on holidays. That definitely does not make it "half a holiday".

I'll be honest. I would not have the confidence to go by myself as I do like having companionship to share the fun with. I think I'd be fine by day doing the tourist attractions, hikes etc but at night dining out and going for drinks, I'd get tired of that after one or two nights. I've done a fair bit of that with business travel abroad also so wouldn't care to replicate it on annual leave. My point is though, however, I would certainly not knock someone who did holiday solo or think any less of them as a person. I'd probably only feel a small bit of envy that I wouldn't be so self sufficient to holiday solo for a week or more.

As others have said here, if others belittle you for it, it really says more about them then you. Go off and book that next holiday!

smallerthanyou

Maybe next time your colleagues are telling you it's weird just comment something like oh I suppose not everyone has the self confidence for it. It might shut them up. I think having the self assuredness to have no problem spending time in own company is a very attractive feature in a person. I have some friends who won't walk into a bar on their own!

fibix

I went on solo sun holidays twice, first one by choice the other one due to my company's family issues.
Fact, the days were ok, I was lying on the beach with the book or went shopping or went for a walk without compromising, fighting etc. Night life wasn't as good as I still think, like one of the ops mentioned above, it's different for the guy sitting on his own having a drink than for a girl in a similar situation. But I did find quiet Irish pub which wasn't as intimidating as bigger places and went there few times to listen to the music. No biggie.
I'm glad I did it. I learned how to be on my own. I have friends who can't imagine going for lunch on their own to the canteen at work!
IMO it takes confidence and some balls to really feel comfortable on your own and this is something you learn. I like being with myself, not always though, but don't feel lost when I have no company.
I just remembered one of the episodes of SATC when Carrie went for a luch, just her, no books, magazines acting like a shield and how it feels, just you. Completely new experience.

SO, to sum up - solo holidays are by no means half holidays:)

MrsB2be

Hi OP,
Reading your post I thought to myself, that sounds great but I could never do that!!

Like others have said, I think it takes courage and someone really self assured to travel on holiday alone, so I'm a little jealos TBH!

Wish I had your confidence. Pay no heed to the comments, like said above, they are just jealous!

Amy33

Hi op,

I'm a 37 year old female who began going on holiday alone when I became single several years ago. Sun holidays aren't my thing, so I always visit cities. The thing about cities is there is always something happening, so I never find myself bored in the evenings. You can go to see a show, go somewhere and listen to live music or just walk for miles taking it all in. I've even discovered a fantastic bookshop in Berlin that stays open until midnight.

This year I've visited Vienna and Tallinn and will be spending 7 days in New York next month (my first visit to NYC).

Don't worry about what other people think, I've certainly got some odd looks from people at work when I say I'm going on holiday alone, but these are the same people who think it's strange for a woman to be single and childless at 37 and are thankfully very much in the minority!!

I certainly don't consider my solo trips "half holidays" and am already planning where to go next year.

LegacyUser

I would be in a similar position to you as I am single and in my early 40's.
If I did not travel on my own I would spend all my time in Ireland.
I enjoy planning a holiday away and working out how much money I can save to do this.
I know a lot of people think a holiday is chance to great drunk every night.
When you travel on your own you can go where you want to and spend as long there as you like.

I would say to you to keep going on the holidays that you like and don't worry about what other people say.

robd55

Hi op,

I am in my thirties and am going on my third solo holiday next month. Honestly I think they are great. I am a shy person by nature and used to really rely on my friends for social events outings. In the last few years they have left me down by saying they were going somewhere, I would book holidays off then they said no not going anywhere. One year I said sod them and went away for a city break by myself - best thing I ever did and haven't looked back since. If I waited for others I would not have seen half the places I have been to. As regards drinking/ night time alone I find I always do a hostel pub crawl they are usually a laugh. I don't stay in hostels but they are a great way to meet people. I set my own itinerary and see what I want to see. I hear what you are saying about the group/alone thing I get that too. There is an empty feeling where if you see something good and you go to turn to someone but there is no one there. The answer to that lies with you. I have done nothing in that regard myself I know my friends don't want to see what I want to see and it sometimes feels as if I am traveling just to prove a point that I can do it alone or I don't need anyone. At the same time I wont see theses place with them so I just have to accept that and soldier on. I have 2 holidays planned solo already so keep the faith and if you can get somebody to go with do but if you cant just do it. You are not wrong you are living you're life and the great motto in life is its always better to regret something you have done than to regret something you haven't.

LegacyUser

Its certainly not weird to enjoy your own company. Generally speaking, I find people who do to be far more interesting and together than people who crave the constant presence and approval of others.

Is a solo trip inferior..... I dont think theres a catch all answer to that as its down to the person. The majority of people would probably argue that a solo holiday is a lesser experience, because for most people, its not the sights their seeing, or the museums their visiting or the boat trips their taking that really matter to them. Most of the details go over their heads. What matters to most people in being their with someone else and sharing the moment. A minority of people are more wrapped up in the logistics and details of the trip and actually seeing these places has a larger importance to them than worrying about who they are eating out with at night. You have to decide which camp you're in.

For me personally, I started out as someone who was obsessed with the what, where and when of the holiday. The who was not that important to me. But now after being on a few solo trips and with people who I didnt gel with, I have changed my mind. I have often stood in front of a picture postcard scene and looked around to see no-one to share it with, or someone Id rather wasnt there. I have thought about how nice it would be to be there with someone I love. Fúck, Id even take someone I really liked! It wouldve really took it onto a new level.

So all im saying is it down to you OP. Fúck what other people perceive about it. If you are happy and fulfilled going solo, then great. I envy you that.

Wanderer2010

Thanks for replies, everyone! I guess Im caught up in the thought that a holiday was less if you were alone because I work with so many people who wouldnt even dream of going anywhere alone and all trips had to be with their other half, 15 of their mates etc. There is one guy who has went to a few places alone but he seemed a bit hesitant admitting it, as if there was a stigma. Maybe there is a small one, but I still feel a solo holiday now is worth it as you get to see all the sights you want and are not tied down to anyone.

It may sound stupid, but another part of my fear was, when Im on my deathbed, would sound sad and shallow for me to say "I was in New Zealand, America, France etc.......alone" as if that may ring hollow. But that may be a bit morbid and after all I still have the rest of my life to find someone to share at least a few holidays with :pac:

Stavro Mueller

You know, I think it'd be worse to lie on your deathbead and say "I wish I'd been to New Zealand, America, France...." I'm sure there are lots of people out there who can't go to places they'd love to because they can't afford it, they're afraid to go it alone or the people they'd travel with won't agree to it. Off the top of my head I can think of half a dozen people I know who've been on holiday alone and they're all perfectly normal people who have friends and relationships. It's a fact of life too that when you move into your 30s and are single, it gets harder to find someone to go with. Such is life. Either you sit at home and wish you could travel or you do something about it.

R019912

I'm 23 and heading to SE Asia for 2 months alone. Had the same concerns as you but I just decided f**k it, I'll probably have the time of my life and when I can't rely on others to be free at the same time as me it shouldn't stop me from seeing a place that I've wanted to for years