Bike sabotaged by Alcoholic Grandad

fta93

Wasn't sure where to post this, here or Legal Issues, mods can move if needs be.

Right, we live with my grandad. Firstly, he's an alcoholic who drinks 8 cans or more everyday. Aggressive too, constantly verbally abuses and threatens us. Also poisoned out dogs twice (not sure if malicious, but careless).

Anyway, this time it was nearly me who suffered. My bikes out the back, not been used over summer months, but went to go out on it today. Just as well I noticed my brakes were gone before i went down the road. According to two other family members he was "cleaning" my bike a few weeks. The brakes just happened to end up on his bike. Exact same brakes. Typically he lied and said he was at nothing but he's been seen.

Surely this is sabotage or theft ? If I hadn't noticed then I don't know what. Is there any routes I can go? Guards etc. As I said he's an aggressive alcoholic so you can't argue or talk to him because he always has to be right and shouts. Family are at the end of our tether with him thanks to all the things adding up. Can we legally get him out? Barring order or the likes?

camphor

A lot depends on whose house it is. If he is staying in your house you can order him out on the spot. 8 cans a day doesn't sound like an alcoholic though. The guards are unlikely to be interested in a theft case involving family members particularly when it involves a relatively small value item.He might be just frustrated.

fta93

camphor wrote: »

A lot depends on whose house it is. If he is staying in your house you can order him out on the spot. 8 cans a day doesn't sound like an alcoholic though. The guards are unlikely to be interested in a theft case involving family members particularly when it involves a relatively small value item.He might be just frustrated.

Well, 6 cans, then out to the pub for four hours, and this is 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

Ownership of house is complicated, he technically owns a part share (1/3) but passes back to majority holder when he dies.

Is frustration a reason for sabotage, leaving doors open, poisoning dogs, threatening with knifes though? And our frustrations with him seem to matter nothing..

Thanks anyway, maybe was hoping guards might use that on top of others to do something

camphor

The best thing to do is empty out his cans into the sink in front of him.

fta93

camphor wrote: »

The best thing to do is empty out his cans into the sink in front of him.

Good idea. I'd be wary of his reaction though?

Osborne

camphor wrote: »

8 cans a day doesn't sound like an alcoholic though.

You're joking right?

camphor

fta93 wrote: »

Good idea. I'd be wary of his reaction though?

He won't leave drink around again. That is what is done with tramps in some areas. It gets rid of them rapidly.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Is it possible he took the brakes on the basis "he's not using his bike, I might as well, eh 'borrow' them"?

If so, the guards and the pouring the drink down the drain won't make any difference. Confronting him would - and pointing that you're also angry because of the accident it could have caused, as much as the theft.

IrishEyes19

I would not pour the cans down the sink. Thats crazy, if the OP is correct in saying he has threatened with knives, how dangerous would it be to enrage someone who comes in drunk every night. Madness. Dont even think of it.

Do you have your family on board, OP. do they want him out as well. Id suggest contacting a professional group for families coping with alcoholism in the home, I think they would have excellent advice and would be able to assist you directly or at least listen. best of luck.

He took the brakes off your bike - you could have been killed.

First thing to do is have a meeting with everyone else in the house, write down all the incidents, decide whether you all want him out or not.

Then confront him with it as a group.

Then, regardless of how he reacts to being confronted, take your brakes back while he's down the pub. He shouldn't be on a bike anyway if he's drunk all the time. Just make sure he realises they're gone so he doesn't have an accident.

fta93

He's been confronted many times, maintains he's not an alcoholic. His wife (my nanny) knows all this, gets treated like crap, but stays quiet/doesnt confront him in order to have a "quiet life", meaning she just lets him away with things, which leads to him doing more crap.

Interestingly, (we've been to the guards many times over threats/verbals), and they wont do anything, but they've said that if we were to take it further, he could counter claim with "elderly abuse" claims. They'd be completely unfounded but would be serious allegations.

Yes, he may have took the brakes off thinking I wasnt using them, but what I'm p*ssed about is that he kept it quiet and then lied when confronted, saying he was cleaning my bike. I was about to go out on the bike, without knowing about the brakes.

And for the people saying 8 cans, 4 pints approx a day isnt an alcoholic...well then you try live with that amount of drinking and see how amicable you are then.

We want him out (even my nanny I think, even with her perceived Catholic duty to him cos he's her husband - she's very religious), but because he part owns the house, there's no legal way that we know of. Hence why we were thinking conviction/barring orders etc.

December2012

Have you spoken to a solicitor yet?

Big Bag of Chips

fta93 wrote: »

We want him out (even my nanny I think, even with her perceived Catholic duty to him cos he's her husband - she's very religious), but because he part owns the house, there's no legal way that we know of. Hence why we were thinking conviction/barring orders etc.

Who is "we", and do you know for a fact that everyone wants him out, or is it just you who are really annoyed about him?

Who owns the house? You say he owns 1/3 of it? Does his wife own 1/3 and one of your parents own 1/3?

Where would you like him to go? Jail?

If you succeeded in getting him out of the house, would your granny want to go with him? Where would they go? I think as it is, you are living in his house, and if you don't like his behaviour, I think it's up to you to move out?

That might be simplifying things a bit much - but if him and your nan own the majority share of the house, then it looks a bit greedy (possible elder abuse, that the guards spoke of?) for you and your family to be pushing him out....

fta93

As to where I'd like him to go, well where do people who drunkenly threaten people with knives go?

Ownership is awkward, he "owns" 1/3, grandmother owns 1/3, and mother owns 1/3, but the grandparents thirds will automatically pass to mother in death.

She (grandmother) is fed up with him, has considered leaving a few times, hasn't in the end, but she has said she hates living with him and only does cos she has to.

As the son of one of the owners, I don't have to get out of his house, because its not his. Take a bit of offence at that bit, as I have every right to be here. Yes, you are over simplyfying things. Not being confrontational but it seems almost that the last post is defending him?

camphor

fta93 wrote: »

Not being confrontational but it seems almost that the last post is defending him?

You have been inconsistent. First it was 8 cans, then 6 then back up to 8 again. The knives incident only came up in a later post and even later again the fact that the guards have been spoken to.
It is difficult to have sympathy for anyone in those circumstances.
You don't own any part of the house. He does own some part of it so has a greater right to stay there than you do.

fta93

camphor wrote: »

You have been inconsistent. First it was 8 cans, then 6 then back up to 8 again. The knives incident only came up in a later post and even later again the fact that the guards have been spoken to.
It is difficult to have sympathy for anyone in those circumstances.
You don't own any part of the house. He does own some part of it so has a greater right to stay there than you do.

Inconsistent? FFS. He doesn't drink the exact same amount every single day. Didn't you imply earlier that that amount plus pints every single day wasn't alcoholism.

Seems to me people are almost excusing the behaviour because he has partly a right to be there. So part ownership forgives threatening behaviour, incessant drinking, taking parts of my bike.

Might as well close the thread, nothing constructive of note barring being told to leave, therefore the alcoholic bully wins again. And my parents and grandmother suffer.

Big Bag of Chips

OP, I take exception at you saying the advice which I took time out of my day to offer you was not constructive. It mightn't have been what you wanted to hear, but that doesn't mean it wasn't constructive or something you should think about. Like it or not it is his and your grandmother's house. When they die, ownership of the house passes to your mother.

If your grandmother wants him out, it's up to her, with maybe the support of your mother to go about it.

Like it or not, there is not much you can do if you don't have the backing of your grandmother. And she can talk all she wants about getting rid of him, but unless she actually goes about doing it by reporting violent incidences to the gardaí and building up a case against him, then THERE IS NOT MUCH YOU CAN DO, except move out.

I'm sorry if you're not hearing what you'd like. But what good is sitting here agreeing with you that it's terrible? You can't get him out of the house, the gardaí have told you as much...

If you still want the thread closed, let me know and I'll close it. But it smacks a little of throwing a tantrum because you're not getting your own way.... ?

fta93

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

OP, I take exception at you saying the advice which I took time out of my day to offer you was not constructive. It mightn't have been what you wanted to hear, but that doesn't mean it wasn't constructive or something you should think about. Like it or not it is his and your grandmother's house. When they die, ownership of the house passes to your mother.

If your grandmother wants him out, it's up to her, with maybe the support of your mother to go about it.

Like it or not, there is not much you can do if you don't have the backing of your grandmother. And she can talk all she wants about getting rid of him, but unless she actually goes about doing it by reporting violent incidences to the gardaí and building up a case against him, then THERE IS NOT MUCH YOU CAN DO, except move out.

I'm sorry if you're not hearing what you'd like. But what good is sitting here agreeing with you that it's terrible? You can't get him out of the house, the gardaí have told you as much...

If you still want the thread closed, let me know and I'll close it. But it smacks a little of throwing a tantrum because you're not getting your own way.... ?

Might as well close it.

Well the posts are having a go at me, and just ignoring the behaviour as if its grand because he can do what he wants to the other owners because he owns part of it.

Not agreeing with advice doesn't mean I'm throwing a tantrum, and I take extreme offence to that remark.

Big Bag of Chips

fta93 wrote: »

Well the posts are having a go at me, and just ignoring the behaviour

Personal Issues is as advice forum. You came on here looking for advice. People were offering you advice. People are not ignoring his behaviour, but there is no point in posters focusing on that or agreeing with you that it's terrible, because that is not actually offering you any advice.

Anyway, as per your request I will lock this thread.

All the best,
I genuinely wish you the best.