stay at home or work

power pants

I am a lone parent(male) to my 5 year old daughter

I have been able to work and look to my daughter by her going to the crèche 5 days a week 9-5.

However I have a new job starting in a weeks time. It means it is slightly further out than before and also with my daughter starting school at the end of the month, I am wondering if I am making the right choice

I am hoping to have after school in place where she was going to crèche after school starts.

It is going to be very stressful with working my hours at work, paying for after school, child minders to collect my daughter

Would I be best to go on the dole and be there for her with after school activities, learning spelling, writing , reading and simply collecting her from school

I have been to university and qualified in a profession but maybe I am putting myself first over my daughter, but surely living on the dole is no existence either? I don't want to be struggling and with no money on the table to do things and live in poverty


I just cant seem to find a solution. I have no family living here either so all child minders would be through websites which I don't really like the idea off either

I have never had a night off or had a baby sitter tend to my child as I have always done that myself



In short -stay at home and live in poverty or go to work and be stressed out trying to make things work?

dublinlady

It's only stressful making things work whilst u out the plans in place / once you have solid plans things become routine. I have to work as self employeed and have employees - you can get really great childcare it's just a process of lots if interviews and finding someone right for you and your child. I think if you want to stay at home - do - but finances always play a role unfortunately so may e it's actually not an option? As in if its not just remind yourself of that and then don't feel guilty - your doing what you have to for your family. But if you wanted to be at home and also work could u consider part time work - like just mornings? Hard to find flexible jobs these days but not sure what sector ur in. That way you could be with your son after school?
It's so hard trying to decide the right thing to do and juggling things even with 2 full time parents - I can't imagine how hard it is for one person - your obviously doing a fabulous job, being there and loving your son - he's lucky to have you - just remember - everyone needs a break - and sone things in their life just for them - if you enjoy work - he might enjoy after school activities and may be the better for social interaction? Either way he has your dedication and support and must feel very content & secure

power pants

Thanks for the reply, yes I am coming to this conclusion too -basically there is no right or wrong solution it is just what I deem best.

I work in the financial services industry and the issue was that it was never 9-5 hours so it was very stressful if I had to work later than 5pm and rearranging cover

I have a week to properly think this over before I make a final decision. Part time work could be an option too as you mention

oh and ps she is a little girl -I should have said that more clearly

2xj3hplqgsbkym

Why don't you get a childninder or au pair instead of afterschool and someone to pick her up. Maybe when she starts school there could be another patent who would mind her, handy ad they would have same schedule etc..

Start work and see how it goes. Then change to part time if you have to.

Orcs a Kong day at home by yourself every day, you may be glad of some adult company at work.

moochers

Hey there OP,
Completely understand where you're coming from. I'm a single parent too with two boys. This is the first year that I'm at home full time as jobs in my sector are thin on the ground at the moment. When I was working full time I did have the guilt and felt that I was neglecting them, looking back now this is a completely irrational thought. My boys were very happy with their childminder, and they had lots of other children from their school who they could play with. It is obvious that you love your daughter and naturally she is your first priority. It would be great if you could get p/t work but unfortunately these are thin on the ground. I would stick with work as it is very difficult to budget on the dole, plus when school starts there are extra curricular activities that you'll have to fork out for. Plus you're daughter is gonna make a lot of friends and have playdates to go on, so I can garuntee she is going to be busy after school anyway. School is a fantastic place to meet other parents too and I have been invited along to the playdates myself (dinner and wine). Also other parents have a wealth of info re: good affordable childcare.

power pants

Nice one everyone for the replies. Yes I think Im going to work and see how it goes

moochers

I think you are making the right choice. Often when parents leave their job to stay at home with their children it can be difficult to get back into the workforce. The financial and IT sector are constantly changing and evolving and employees are expected to retrain and up skill every year. Employers don't care less if you stayed at home with your children and made sacrifices to do so. You're often expected to start from the bottom again. It's a dog eat dog world.

Anyway best of luck, you're a great Dad and your daughter will love school and her hectic new social life.

dublinlady

Haha - sorry - oops u blatantly said daughter... It's been a long day - my 2 daughters have my head wrecked:D

power pants

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pwurple

Can you find anoter creche? The creches around me allow drop offs from 7am.

Screw the 7pm--8pm working late. If it's not in the contract then don't feel you have to do it. You are not the only person in the world with a child. Don't bail, even if they let you go, they still need to give you the 30 days notice, so that's another months wage.

power pants

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