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Advice please

  • 05-08-2013 3:05pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Ok I recently found out that my GF has been using dating websites while we've been together.

    Last week she used my computer to check her e-mails, she did what she had to do, we we're on the way out and so just shut the computer down. I returned to the computer a few days later to find it hadn't actually closed down.

    When I went onto my browser it was still logged into her e-mail inbox. Now i did not read any of her e-mails but i did notice she had been receiving mail form a certain dating website.

    Now we did meet online through a dating website, but these e-mails were from a different site.

    I thought i could let it go but, it was niggling at me so a few days later i decided to check out the site she had been getting mail from. Low and behold, she has a profile filled out in full detail, with recent pics & her profile says that she is still actively using the site.

    I'm just wondering if i should confront her about it before she heads back off for college to the states or whether i should let her go and then break the news to her?

    any input welcome.


Comments

  • #2
    Lorna123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,116 ✭✭✭Lorna123


    I just think this is unacceptable. Had it been the same dating site as you met her on I could have just said that she didn't delete her profile and that she was just getting the usual e-mails that she would never act on, but to think that she has a profile up and is actively saying she is free is just deplorable.

    So are you having a long distance relationship with her while she is at college or what? I think I would have it out with her and just break up with her. She is obviously not as happy with you as you thought she was or she would not be leaving herself open to meeting others.


  • #3
    Esoteric_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    If she were living over here full time, I'd suggest speaking to her about it, figuring out her reasons, because she may just be using the site as an ego boost. That'd still be completely unacceptable because what she's doing in using the site is tantamount to cheating, but I'd have advised you to speak to her.

    I would have advised that, until I saw that she's moving back to the USA for college. If you have it out with her, do you really think you can trust her not to cheat while she's thousands of miles away? If she can betray you so easily at home, imagine how much easier it'd be when she's so far away.

    I'd just end it with her tbh.


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    She has been studying over here and is returning to the states very soon. The plan was to have a LDR but now i'm positive i'm going to end it.

    I don't get how anyone could use a site like that for 'ego' reasons.

    Does it make sense to keep up a front for a couple more days until she leaves and then tell her that i know about everything. Or tell her before she goes and incur any drama that comes with it?

    I mean, she was willingly pursuing ways to meet other guys while we were in the same country, So who's to say that when she goes back I could believe her or trust her?

    The only reason i have posted this is that she leaves in a few days and i'm really stressed out at the moment. She's currently hanging with my friends and everyone is so pally pally and getting along that i don't want to be the one to ruin the party! (I literally mean that this is going on during friends b-day parties!)

    Just heavily conflicted at the moment


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