Waight Gain

LegacyUser

Hello all,
Long time poster going unreg for this.
I really feel I need a place to vent a wee bit. I've tried talking to a few family members/friends but I'm being shrugged off with "Ara you look fine, bit of a belly, so what" etc etc.

Throughout my youth/teenage years I was always overweight. Age 19 I was 15 stone (of fat, not muscle!) 5ft 11". I was obviously conscious of my weight but never did much about it. Then for some miracle I began to loose the pounds all the way down to 11Stone. The only thing I can say is I cut out the dairy in a big way, but other than that my lifestyle was the same.

I have to say I loved the past 10 years or so being the weight I was, so many times those that were kids who teased me about my weight complimented me on my weight loss, (indeed, many asked me for tips!) It was all fantastic.

That was until a few months ago when I left my job, went traveling and am now home again. Since the new year I've gained 2 stone and I'm absolutely gutted beyond belief. (I know I know, it's "only 2 stone" standing at 5ft 11" weighing 13 stone isn't too bad, I get it) I can't believe I'm on the wrong side of the scale. Upon the realization, I spent a few days moping around and feeling sorry for myself.

Last week I tried getting into a more positive frame of mind and tackling it head on, went running, did a few weights, and have really watched what I ate. The thing is, this week my motivation is completely gone again. I can't stop looking at myself in the mirror, disgusted at myself, memories of childhood shyte (for want of a better word) are flooding me all over again. The whole thing has really taken it's toll on me, to the point where I'm actually avoiding meeting my friends because I'm so disgusted with how I look. I stayed up until 2am this morning looking up Vaser Lipo treatment, thinking that could well be the quickest solution, and also the laziest, not to mention the costs are wallet wrenching.

In the grand scheme of things, I've little to be worrying about I know, but something like weight gain has taken a massive toll on my confidence, none of my family/friends seem to "get" where I'm coming from with this.
It's all very dis-hearteding.

cypressg

What do you want,sympathy?
Learn how to do weights properly and do them 3 times a week for 45 mins each time and you will not be sad anymore.You'll be able to eat whatever you want within reason and you will never have this problem again.
90% of people in the gym are not doing weights properly and so not getting much effect so it's up to you to figure out how to find out how to do them properly-hint: the internet.
Do this and you'll look better then you ever looked ever within 4-6 weeks.It's not something to be making a frickin drama about.Lift weights properly and you'll get jacked and stop being fat,the end.

Rachineire

It can be upsetting when you have gained weight. Losing self confidence can really be a tough thing to deal with. Just remember you are your own toughest critic. I can guarantee you don't look as bad as you think you do. Your older, the weight won't fall off like it did at 19. Regular moderate exercise (like walking/jogging 3-4 times a week even) will not only help you lose weight but boost your confidence, give you energy and leave you feeling happier. Best of luck.

December2012

Two things can help you.

1) a personal trainer / a gym challenge will help you because you will be telling them what you're eating and doing. And they'll know if you're lying!

2) talk to a therapist about your body image and confidence.

It's doable and preferable and healthier than surgery.

Typer Monkey

90% of weightless is about your diet. There is an excellent health and fitness forum here on boards. I recommend that you go there and read the stickies. You can find out your maintenance calories (google maintenance calories), subtract 300-500 calories. Stick to consuming that amount and you will loose weight. I highly recommend the myfitnesspal app for tracking your calorie intake.

I had a baby in Feb and have lost 3 and 1/2 stone since using this method coupled with some weight training.

It is a cliche but you just need to eat less and move more to loose weight

Diziet

Just find something that works for you. I find that avoiding bread, rice and potatoes (not cutting out completely, but cutting down a lot) makes weight loss much easier. The eaiest thing for me has been the 5:2 program. Eat very few calories 2 days a week, eat normally the rest of the time. Others find tracking via MyFitnessPal to work for them. Just find something you can sustain and keep at it. The weight will go if you take in less energy than you need.

In the meantime, stand straight, shoulders back, and smile! Everybody looks better instantly when they have good posture and look happy! It works even if you don't feel like it.

fussyonion

cypressG, I find your comments incredibly hurtful towards the OP.
"What do you want, sympathy?"
YES the OP came here to vent, to gain some support from others who are possibly going through the same thing.

cypressg

fussyonion wrote: »

cypressG, I find your comments incredibly hurtful towards the OP.
"What do you want, sympathy?"
YES the OP came here to vent, to gain some support from others who are possibly going through the same thing.

Good for you,how you find my comments is irrelevant though as I was talking to the OP and not you.

xzanti

cypressg wrote: »

What do you want,sympathy?
Learn how to do weights properly and do them 3 times a week for 45 mins each time and you will not be sad anymore.You'll be able to eat whatever you want within reason and you will never have this problem again.
90% of people in the gym are not doing weights properly and so not getting much effect so it's up to you to figure out how to find out how to do them properly-hint: the internet.
Do this and you'll look better then you ever looked ever within 4-6 weeks.It's not something to be making a frickin drama about.Lift weights properly and you'll get jacked and stop being fat,the end.

It's Personal Issues.. not Boot Camp.. no need for the Drill Sergeant attitude

cypressg

Ok,obviously I was a bit harsh the first time,I'll try again.

OP I can't understand how this could be happening to you,this is so unfortunate and undeserved but maybe you are just paranoid because of all the horrible bullies from your childhood?I'm sure you don't look as bad as you are making out,in fact I bet you probably still look just as fantastic as you did before!Maybe you could try a support group or go to a therapist?I'm fairly sure that you would feel better when you look in the mirror if you did these things.
Remember,you are beautiful the way you are,your curves make you special and I would not change them for anything so forget the lipo and bring on the billowy clothes.Hugs and kisses, xxx your "friend".

fussyonion

Lovely, now you're being condascending, sarcastic and patronising.
You have no idea how to make anyone feel better about themselves. Rather than just give the OP some structured advice, you're now being bitchy.

cypressg

fussyonion wrote: »

Lovely, now you're being condascending, sarcastic and patronising.
You have no idea how to make anyone feel better about themselves. Rather than just give the OP some structured advice, you're now being bitchy.

If OP follows the initial advice I gave him he will feel better about himself in the shortest possible time and never suffer this problem again.
Are you sure you're not taking this a bit personally?

fussyonion

cypressg wrote: »

If OP follows the initial advice I gave him he will feel better about himself in the shortest possible time and never suffer this problem again.
Are you sure you're not taking this a bit personally?

No I'm not taking it personally and to be fair to you, you did give some good advice.
It's just the "what do you want, sympathy?" and the "no need for drama" parts that I found a bit rude.

turbot

OP,

1) Follow a no carb / paleo diet & study nutrition

2) Get a personal trainer

3) Drink way more water

4) Watch this:

<Mod snip>

Ickle Magoo

cypressg now the proud owner of a weeks holiday after ignoring multiple mod warnings in this forum.

Folks, if you have an issue with a post or poster - use the report function. Do not engage in off-topic bickering or indulge in back seat modding.

If anyone hasn’t done so already, please take the time to read the [URL=" http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056181484"]forum rules[/URL] in the charter.

Many thanks.

As per site policy, if you have an issue with any moderator instruction or request please contact a relevant moderator via PM - DO NOT drag the thread further off-topic by responding on-thread

LegacyUser

OP, everything you reported, the weight gain, the bad memories, the horrible moment of looking ourselves in the mirror, this is an "issue" (for lack of a better word) that has been ingrained in girls for their entire lives, and due to the media/peer pressure is now reaching the guys. I see it everyday in college with guys "showing off" their gym tips/diet tips and it pains me to watch you guys going towards the same downward spiral that consumed so many girls' youth and well-being.

The problem is that because this has been destroying girls' life for so long, it is traditionally seen as a "girls' condition", hence girls receive some support, while you guys don't (see the "what you want, sympathy? Go do some weights" attitude).

In the whole, this is a combination of issues and it is not a minor "diet thing", which is probably what you mean when you say your friends/parents just don't get it.

When we get to the stage where we feel depressed about our weight and it dictates our self-esteem (and trust me, 70% of my female friends -myself included- and my past two bfs have been there), it's a bit more complicated than "just stop eating crap and exercising".

Eating healthy, avoiding carbs and exercising are all very good advices. But there are other issues - especially if you were bullied because of weight before - that are much harder to get rid of and need to be addressed.

I went to several shrinks about weight issues during my late teens (even though I was never overweight) and it helped a bit. But to be honest, what helped me the most was having a bf who was supportive of how I looked and actually fancied me so much I started to believe I could be beautiful, in spite of my weight.

Funnily enough, my weight usually fluctuated in 1 stone and when I look back at my pictures at the time, I was damn cute. Yet I felt the same as you, not wanting to leave the house because I put on a bit of weight etc... so it was much more in my mind than anything else!

cypressg

Yeah,you're only overweight "in your mind".
Go to reddit transformations and have a look at all the people there who decided to actually do something about it rather than paying a therapist to tell them it's ok.
Here's an example of an 11 month transformation
http://i.imgur.com/fPfKqRS.jpg
It's really not hard and will stand to you for the rest of your life.No amount of therapy or whatever is going to make you happy when you look in the mirror and it's only going to get worse as you get older.

Aaaaand I'm banned again.

jdsk2006

Would you consider hipnosis op? Iv used it to help wit my eating patterns after giving up the cigarettes and cannot recommend it highly enough .....be wary of con artists tho, make sure you go to somebody very skilled and professional

lau1247

watch your calorie count, eat more fruit and veg and cut on meat if possible..

As for training/running, you won't see the effect so quickly but once it kicks in it will ramp up, you need to invest time and consistently keep it up..

I was about 84KG back in April this year, ran about 3-4 days a week (mostly 3 days), up to about mid of June I was only at about 82KG and currently I'm 78KG..

dellas1979

I dont think some of the posters here get the OPs problem.

All the weight loss stories are great, and tips etc, and may provide a little motivation, but its the OP who needs to motivate himself. And I think they are realising that its not happening.

If you have that bad a body image of yourself, yes you should be talking to someone. No point in changing the outside, when the inside stays the same. Doesnt matter what weight you are, you havent dealt with what happened, in your brain. Doesnt sound like you like/love yourself (unconditionally). The bullying seems to have put some conditions on how you view/love yourself, i.e., i am 13 stone and I hate myself/feel disgusting etc. Rather than, Ive put on weight (as one does), but I love myself enough to loose it.

jacksie66

This post has been deleted.

dearg lady

Look on the bright side, you managed to lose 4 stone before, now you only have 2 to lose to get back to a weight you're happy with. As others have said, find something you enjoy doing, take up cycling to get places, experiment with a few different sports, it shouldn't be a chore, it should be enjoyable! Watch your diet, and most of all, try not to let it get you down, you will have 'off' days, but the important thing is to not let it spill into a week, a month etc.