A generation of "Cotton Wool Kids"

Cantona's Collars

A study in the UK has shown that kids spend on average only 3 hours a week playing outdoors. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2380550/Why-stopping-children-climbing-trees-playing-mud-creating-nation-cotton-wool-kids-cope-ups-downs-real-life.html

This scenario is pretty much mirrored over here,I personally know several parents who are terrified to let their kids get so much as a speck of dirt on them and constantly have the disinfectant wipes to hand,their kids always seem to be sick and are almost ghost like due to being kept indoors.

When I was a kid my parents had a constant struggle to keep me indoors,these days many kids are being molly-coddled and lack basic social skills due to no interaction with other people.One kid I know is scared of his own shadow due to being kept inside and even outdoor play is at minimum and he's never more than a few feet from his parents while other kids are enjoying themselves.I feel sorry for the lad as he doesn't know how to play-surely that's the most important thing for a child?

I'm sure many posters here remember playing in the fields,climbing trees etc.

sbsquarepants

We're breeding a whole generation of pansies. Kids need to be out and about playing to toughen up. The world has gone mad!

Dartz

Blame the plethora of pedophiles and kiddy-fiddlers hiding behind every bush. And Sky News, the Star, The Sun, for telling us all about them

RachaelVO

When you have kids you are influenced by all the stories you heard and read, no point in saying that you aren't.

But it's not just the horrible stories of kids going missing or being interfered with, you also see heavier traffic on the majority of modern streets and that causes another worry. It's a fecking minefield.

OldNotWIse

Agree re the obsessive use of disinfectant etc (in fact there's a really annoying ad for a probiotic or something where they show a kid sharing his ice cream with a girl and say something like, "he may not see the dangers, but you do" ffs) but re safety, I dont think parents are to be blamed for not letting their kids out unsupervised, there are so many monsters out there today

mutley18

Climbing trees, building huts, camping, playing on hay bales, kicking a football around a field, ah the good old days.

Then Sony invented the Playstation. Curse them!

Dartz

Dartz wrote: »

Blame the plethora of pedophiles and kiddy-fiddlers hiding behind every bush. And Sky News, the Star, The Sun, for telling us all about them

There is the pervading sense of moral panic over child safety, and much more information of a graphic nature of the rare crimes against children that leads to terror in parents, but there's also more to it than that.

In previous generations there was a greater likelihood of one parent being present in the home -at least some of the time. Kids now are more likely to come from a family of two working parents and as such aren't at home to play in their gardens. They're at creche, at an after school club, or at a child minders whose livelihood depends on keeping them very closely supervised and so more likely to be in eyeshot.

Parents are also more likely to be exhausted when they come home because all the household stuff has to be done after hours, so they're less able to take the kids to the park etc.

So a little of all the above = much less carefree playtime.

Frank Black

I share a lot of the OP's concerns, and as a parent myself will be raising my children the 'Spartan way'. I'll be sending them up the Dublin mountains with only a loin cloth and a sharp stick once they are 7. They are not to return home until they have killed a large mammal such as a fox, badger or cow.

Artful_Badger

When I was a kid my parents knew everyone in the parish and seemed to know them well. So there was no distrust when it came to neighbours. And because I was out all the time (nothing inside that interested me) and hadnt yet killed myself they didnt see much danger in whatever I was at.

Nowadays nobody knows anyone and kids are mostly glued to computers so when they do disappear for an hour alarm bells start to ring.

RikkFlair

mutley18 wrote: »

Climbing trees, building huts, camping, playing on hay bales, kicking a football around a field, ah the good old days.

Then Sony invented the Playstation. Curse them!

It's all Super Marios fault!

Jester252

All my young cosuin are spending the summer outside.

Wacker The Attacker

PC Gone mad ETC.

Just give little Johnny a good crack on the arse and send him on his way

Cantona's Collars

OldNotWIse wrote: »

Agree re the obsessive use of disinfectant etc (in fact there's a really annoying ad for a probiotic or something where they show a kid sharing his ice cream with a girl and say something like, "he may not see the dangers, but you do" ffs) but re safety, I dont think parents are to be blamed for not letting their kids out unsupervised, there are so many monsters out there today

I hate the ad for the soap dispenser you don't need to touch,ffs it dispenses disinfectant so it doesn't matter if you touch the bloody thing.:mad:

I have friends whose kids won't eat outdoors and one who has to "kill all the germs" before even eating sweets.The kids have become ocd and as a result don't even enjoy the simple things a kid should.They are growing up in a sterile environment and as a result even when they do pick up something like a common cold they suffer more than their 'less clean' peers.

Artful_Badger

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

PC Gone mad ETC.

Just give little Johnny a good crack on the arse and send him on his way

You mean physically assault a child and neglect him putting him in a position to be victimised by a predator ?

Swan Curry

Of course,there's probably another article on the Daily Mail's site telling parents to keep their children inside,away from the pedos and the gays and the foreigners...

Wacker The Attacker

Candie wrote: »

There is the pervading sense of moral panic over child safety, and much more information of a graphic nature of the rare crimes against children that leads to terror in parents, but there's also more to it than that.

In previous generations there was a greater likelihood of one parent being present in the home -at least some of the time. Kids now are more likely to come from a family of two working parents and as such aren't at home to play in their gardens. They're at creche, at an after school club, or at a child minders whose livelihood depends on keeping them very closely supervised and so more likely to be in eyeshot.

Parents are also more likely to be exhausted when they come home because all the household stuff has to be done after hours, so they're less able to take the kids to the park etc.

So a little of all the above = much less carefree playtime.

All work and no play makes Jack a sh1tty parent.

Love2love

I don't let my son out alone. He's 6 and I take him to the park everyday hail, rain or shine so he gets enough time outside playing. He's computer games usage it kept to a minimum and he has to earn it. I just cannot bare the thought of something happening to him and he doesn't have a street sense that I had growing up. I went to the shop at his age!! I have my nephews over all the time to make sure he's getting social interaction with his peers and I organise trips with his friends mothers as much as I can. Yes, I feel terrible that he's not getting the the same upbringing that I got but god, it's hard. As already said, everyday you hear of another attempted abduction or a child getting run over my a car ect. And when something happens, we ALWAYS say, where were the parents? April Jones' mother was criticised for allowing her out to play alone beside her house when she went missing because she was only 5! A parent can't win!!

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

zerks wrote: »

A study in the UK has shown that kids spend on average only 3 hours a week playing outdoors. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2380550/Why-stopping-children-climbing-trees-playing-mud-creating-nation-cotton-wool-kids-cope-ups-downs-real-life.html

The biggest problem with the issues the Daily Mail raises abotu kids not playing outdoors is stories run by the Daily Mail that scare parents into keepign their kids indoors.

Wacker The Attacker

Artful_Badger wrote: »

You mean physically assault a child and neglect him putting him in a position to be victimised by a predator ?

Who said anything about neglect and being victimised by predators.

Something of a leap isn't it?

listermint

Artful_Badger wrote: »

When I was a kid my parents knew everyone in the parish and seemed to know them well. So there was no distrust when it came to neighbours. And because I was out all the time (nothing inside that interested me) and hadnt yet killed myself they didnt see much danger in whatever I was at.

Nowadays nobody knows anyone and kids are mostly glued to computers so when they do disappear for an hour alarm bells start to ring.

Generally speaking most cases of abuse are by people known to the individual. So that kind of thinking was a false economy anyway.


That aside, i have to blame poor parenting skills and over protection. Long term it does nothing for a childs social well being.

Cantona's Collars

Swan Curry wrote: »

Of course,there's probably another article on the Daily Mail's site telling parents to keep their children inside,away from the pedos and the gays and the foreigners...

It's the Mail,that's a given.

Caliden

Dartz wrote: »

Blame the plethora of pedophiles and kiddy-fiddlers hiding behind every bush. And Sky News, the Star, The Sun, for telling us all about them

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXhddUqNNjo

TED speaker on 'Top 5 dangerous things you should let your kids do'.

It talks about children in the U.S. so it might be a bit different. In the video the speaker compares 2 lists, 1 is the top 5 things parents are afraid of and the other is the top 5 list of things that actually harm children.

Kidnapping by a non family member doesn't even make the top 5000 on the list of things that harm children. Studies even show that children who walk to school have better situational awareness, better judges of character and therefore are less likely to be victimised.

Wacker The Attacker

Love2love wrote: »

I don't let my son out alone. He's 6 and I take him to the park everyday hail, rain or shine so he gets enough time outside playing. He's computer games usage it kept to a minimum and he has to earn it. I just cannot bare the thought of something happening to him and he doesn't have a street sense that I had growing up. I went to the shop at his age!! I have my nephews over all the time to make sure he's getting social interaction with his peers and I organise trips with his friends mothers as much as I can. Yes, I feel terrible that he's not getting the the same upbringing that I got but god, it's hard. As already said, everyday you hear of another attempted abduction or a child getting run over my a car ect. And when something happens, we ALWAYS say, where were the parents? April Jones' mother was criticised for allowing her out to play alone beside her house when she went missing because she was only 5! A parent can't win!!

How is he supposed to get it if you don't allow him to learn it.

OldNotWIse

zerks wrote: »

I hate the ad for the soap dispenser you don't need to touch,ffs it dispenses disinfectant so it doesn't matter if you touch the bloody thing.:mad:

I have friends whose kids won't eat outdoors and one who has to "kill all the germs" before even eating sweets.The kids have become ocd and as a result don't even enjoy the simple things a kid should.They are growing up in a sterile environment and as a result even when they do pick up something like a common cold they suffer more than their 'less clean' peers.

Exactly, no immunity.

There was an ad a few years back for dettol spray and you can see the mum spraying the stuff onto the baby's highchair table and then it cuts to the baby eating a banana directly from the table!

SEPT 23 1989

I watched a piece on the news from the UK where a council had to organise closing a street once a month so the kids could get together and play outside

sad state of affairs

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Love2love wrote: »

I don't let my son out alone. He's 6 and I take him to the park everyday hail, rain or shine so he gets enough time outside playing. He's computer games usage it kept to a minimum and he has to earn it. I just cannot bare the thought of something happening to him and he doesn't have a street sense that I had growing up. I went to the shop at his age!! I have my nephews over all the time to make sure he's getting social interaction with his peers and I organise trips with his friends mothers as much as I can. Yes, I feel terrible that he's not getting the the same upbringing that I got but god, it's hard. As already said, everyday you hear of another attempted abduction or a child getting run over my a car ect. And when something happens, we ALWAYS say, where were the parents? April Jones' mother was criticised for allowing her out to play alone beside her house when she went missing because she was only 5! A parent can't win!!

Outdoor supervision at 6 is fair enough. My mother had a rule when I was 6 that if chse couldn't see me from the front room window, I'd gone too far. (Usually had, but that's beside the point )

Out of interest, how will you be when he hits, say 10?

listermint

Love2love wrote: »

I don't let my son out alone. He's 6 and I take him to the park everyday hail, rain or shine so he gets enough time outside playing. He's computer games usage it kept to a minimum and he has to earn it. I just cannot bare the thought of something happening to him and he doesn't have a street sense that I had growing up. I went to the shop at his age!! I have my nephews over all the time to make sure he's getting social interaction with his peers and I organise trips with his friends mothers as much as I can. Yes, I feel terrible that he's not getting the the same upbringing that I got but god, it's hard. As already said, everyday you hear of another attempted abduction or a child getting run over my a car ect. And when something happens, we ALWAYS say, where were the parents? April Jones' mother was criticised for allowing her out to play alone beside her house when she went missing because she was only 5! A parent can't win!!

April Jones got into that car because she knew the driver. So being brutally honest your perception is sadly wrong. Stats indicate that if something does happen its someone known to you or the child. So arranging play dates with his friends mothers is no safer.

Teach the child open and frank communication, teach them right and wrong and interact with them as a good parent. but dont molly coddle them out of your own (sorry to say) misguided worries.

Playing in the front garden or out on your street is perfectly. safe.

LoonyLovegood

When I was a kid (not that long ago, I swear) I spent all day outside in the summer. My little brother, six years younger than me, has spent most of this summer inside on the laptop and playstation, which is mad. Eight years ago or so, you'd see groups of kids out all the time, now there's never anyone out. It's insane.

anncoates

zerks wrote: »

A study in the UK has shown that kids spend on average only 3 hours a week playing outdoors. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2380550/Why-stopping-children-climbing-trees-playing-mud-creating-nation-cotton-wool-kids-cope-ups-downs-real-life.html

This scenario is pretty much mirrored over here,I personally know several parents who are terrified to let their kids get so much as a speck of dirt on them and constantly have the disinfectant wipes to hand,their kids always seem to be sick and are almost ghost like due to being kept indoors.

When I was a kid my parents had a constant struggle to keep me indoors,these days many kids are being molly-coddled and lack basic social skills due to no interaction with other people.One kid I know is scared of his own shadow due to being kept inside and even outdoor play is at minimum and he's never more than a few feet from his parents while other kids are enjoying themselves.I feel sorry for the lad as he doesn't know how to play-surely that's the most important thing for a child?

I'm sure many posters here remember playing in the fields,climbing trees etc.

To be more true to your concerns, you should really put this on posters and nail them to trees instead of putting it on the internet.

I agree with the fact that kids spend more time indoors these days but these finger-wagging sceanrios of empty streets and playgrounds are a bit hysterical: I see plenty of kids playing out on the street and in the parks where I live.

Love2love

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

How is he supposed to get it if you don't allow him to learn it.

Eh, that's what my whole post was about..... I want him to have it but I'm not willing to let him out unsupervised. I've just moved into an area where I'm not local so I think it will take me longer to get use to having him outside alone.

Wacker The Attacker

Love2love wrote: »

Eh, that's what my whole post was about..... I want him to have it but I'm not willing to let him out unsupervised. I've just moved into an area where I'm not local so I think it will take me longer to get use to having him outside alone.

You cant have it both ways.

Cantona's Collars

The funny thing is that the parents of these kids grew up playing outdoors.

SEPT 23 1989

Love2love wrote: »

Eh, that's what my whole post was about..... I want him to have it but I'm not willing to let him out unsupervised. I've just moved into an area where I'm not local so I think it will take me longer to get use to having him outside alone.

how can you play properly with your mammy watching you?:D

Love2love

Even responses here are mixed. Look, I don't think that allowing a 6 year old out on a busy main road in Dublin is good parenting. April Jones did know her attacker which actually makes it more terrifying don't you think? You drum in into your kids to be wary of stranger and forget to warn them of the wolf in sheep's clothing. I'm trying to find a balance with my parenting but its hard and no parent is going to make the right choice all the time. And I know that the abductions you hear about on Facebook can't be true. It's always a man in a white van :rolleyes: but the fact of the matter is, it remind you of what CAN happen.

anncoates

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

how can you play properly with your mammy watching you?:D

We'd have never been able to play stuff like Emergency Room For Groin-Centred Injuries with parents hanging around.

listermint

Love2love wrote: »

Even responses here are mixed. Look, I don't think that allowing a 6 year old out on a busy main road in Dublin is good parenting. April Jones did know her attacker which actually makes it more terrifying don't you think? You drum in into your kids to be wary of stranger and forget to warn them of the wolf in sheep's clothing. I'm trying to find a balance with my parenting but its hard and no parent is going to make the right choice all the time. And I know that the abductions you hear about on Facebook can't be true. It's always a man in a white van :rolleyes: but the fact of the matter is, it remind you of what CAN happen.

If thats the case, then an arguement can easily be made to 'not have kids'.

I mean its absolutely ridiculous and insane to go through all the permutations of what could go wrong in your childs life. If you spent your time doing that then you would lose the plot.

If we killed of social media FB, twitter and fired all those stupid journalists with their tabloid crap would it be okay to let the kids out to play?

Yes it would, because its the same. But hearing about an abduction in the news in Ohio doesnt mean your child will be taken out of your front garden..

Jester252

I have to laugh at people saying that the world is more dangeruos today. That now we have X,Y and Z issues that could harm the children. These issues are nothing new, they were around when you when a child.

I think computer games are a great way for children to learn how to defend themselves against today's modern, heavily armed paedophiles.

Love2love

And I agree with you..... All I'm saying is, that its hard to find a balance. Do you think allowing a 6 year old to play outside alone on a busy main road good parenting?

anncoates

Jester252 wrote: »

I have to laugh at people saying that the world is more dangeruos today. That now we have X,Y and Z issues that could harm the children. These issues are nothing new, they were around when you when a child.

To be fair, when I was a kid, I wanted to sit on Jimmy Saville's kneee and get a medal.

listermint

Love2love wrote: »

And I agree with you..... All I'm saying is, that its hard to find a balance. Do you think allowing a 6 year old to play outside alone on a busy main road good parenting?

Depends on your perception of busy, or are you actually living facing a busy road?

Sometimes people over sell things when trying to make a point.

Or is it just a generic suburban estate?

Only yesterday I was watching george Carlin and his piece about Child Worship' as he called it.

Hilarious.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6wOt2iXdc4

SEPT 23 1989

Love2love wrote: »

And I agree with you..... All I'm saying is, that its hard to find a balance. Do you think allowing a 6 year old to play outside alone on a busy main road good parenting?

have you no garden?

listermint

For Instance we used to play squares with a football outside my house. And the road was i suppose busy enough,

'game on' 'game off

repeat and recycle.



Im still of this world btw. untouched.

krudler

mutley18 wrote: »

Climbing trees, building huts, camping, playing on hay bales, kicking a football around a field, ah the good old days.

Then Sony invented the Playstation. Curse them!

Video games were around long before the Playstation, I grew up in the Amstrad/Commodore/NES days and we still played outside plenty. Nothing wrong with letting kids play video games at all but an active outdoor life is needed too, tis all about balance.

NeonCookies

I do feel sorry for parents these days (I'm not one yet, but would like to be in the future) - you're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't. Keep your kid inside, and you're wrapping them in cotton wool. Let them play on the road and you're putting them at risk of cars, kidnapping etc. I suppose parents could get together to supervise the kids out on the road for half an hour each, bring them to the park to run around etc. It takes extra work and effort, but the dangers aren't an excuse to simply let them sit in on the XBox all day! And if anything deserves extra work - it's your kids!! Its a toughie though.

As for the "germs" brigade....people need to get a life. My brother used to eat the soil out of the potted plants, and carried snails around in his pocket. He's perfectly healthy! I used to sit in my dad's wheelbarrow filled with stones and soil, and washing my hands before dinner involved quickly wetting them and smearing the dirt off on the towel. I barely know my doctor! Kids are growing up with no immunity whatsoever, and antibiotics for everything. When I was a kid, being sick meant staying in bed all day with warm drinks and cuddles. Now, kids are carted off to the doctor at the first hint of a sniffle and given pills. I've seen it with my cousins kids.

Love2love

listermint wrote: »

Depends on your perception of busy, or are you actually living facing a busy road?

Sometimes people over sell things when trying to make a point.

Or is it just a generic suburban estate?

Swords Road just at the start of the M1....

I do have a garden and he does play in it but it gets boring playing on your own. As I said, not moved in and he's not going to school in the area so he doesn't know anyone around

RachaelVO

Just out of curiosity, how many of the posters who are advocating letting kids out alone have kids, and can you give us some examples of the freedom you give them that I for example don't give my kids. Some of the posters are giving me the impression that they don't have kids, so I'd like to hear the other side of the arguement from those who do have kids.

I can't remember exactly who said it, but a movie producer once said,
'I had 1000s of theories on raising kids and no kids, now I've 6 kids and no theories'

bumper234

Dartz wrote: »

Blame the plethora of pedophiles and kiddy-fiddlers hiding behind every bush. And Sky News, the Star, The Sun, for telling us all about them

I have a 2 year old that plays on the road (quiet cul de sac) with the older kids he loves chasing them. Plenty of skinned knees and elbows and dirty hands to be had. He obviously doesn't play on his own without parental supervision but you have to give them SOME freedom. Explain the dangers to them about strangers/traffic etc and as one poster said the old "stay in sight" rule usually works.

Frank Black wrote: »

I share a lot of the OP's concerns, and as a parent myself will be raising my children the 'Spartan way'. I'll be sending them up the Dublin mountains with only a loin cloth and a sharp stick once they are 7. They are not to return home until they have killed a large mammal such as a fox, badger or cow.

Pfffft Foxes and Badgers are for the eating. He is not a TRUE Spartan until he brings home a freshly skinned joyrider (if he doesn't bring home the Burberry baseball cap he fails the test):D

zerks wrote: »

The funny thing is that the parents of these kids grew up playing outdoors.

^^^THIS!!! Yes there where less cars on the roads but FFS we all ate dirt/ants/spiders/snails. I used to go down the canals in England when i was 8 years old to catch newts and tadpoles.

Love2love wrote: »

Swords Road just at the start of the M1....

I do have a garden and he does play in it but it gets boring playing on your own. As I said, not moved in and he's not going to school in the area so he doesn't know anyone around

Find clubs or parent groups to introduce him to others. FFs let him loose in a park for ten minutes kids soon make friends. It's up to you then to approach the other kids parents and start talking to them. Let them know he is new to area and doesn't go to school. Ask about children s activities in the area.

caustic 1

Look back people, to the Ireland of yesteryear, you think there were no paedophiles? If you didn't live with them then they were neighbours. The difference, social media, some cases now are reported yes only some hundreds and thousands are not, therefore because you hear of them it makes it seem like it's an epidemic. Sad to say it has always been there. You are not protecting your child by going to every single nook and cranny he/she goes too, they will grow up not being able to make a decision without you or someone saying yay or nay.
The only way to protect your child is to educate them of the dangers. Tell them why you want them to never ever talk to strangers. Not in a way that is going to give them sleepless nights, although they need a little fear to make them think twice about talking to this person they do not know. Tell them what could happen if you run across a road and not look, if they climb the tree way too high they might fall. They also might not fall. The car might not come at that time, the stranger could just be a kind person, yes they do exist also. It is about learning them to make judgements on their own.
Things are always going to happen and the next thing you watch or read about will be ten times worse than the last item you read or watched. Stifling little Mary or Johnny in a cocoon to protect them is doing more harm than good.
From the day they were born your worry began and will be with you to the day you die, don't make it any more stressful than it needs to be.

I have three teens, they survived this far.

Celly Smunt

Anybody want to build a base?