Lost

LegacyUser

I don't even know how to begin writing this, I suppose I'll try and keep it short as possible. I'm 29 female, studied a course I hated but stuck it out got a job in the area I studied in and loathed it. Went back to college, to try and get into a related but different career and have been interning in this new area for almost 8 months now to try and get a foot in the door but I've come to realise it's just not for me. I do not have the personality to work in it, it's very dog eat dog and I'm not that type of person at all, nor do I want to be, It's gotten to the point that I dread going to work every morning.

I can't even begin to describe the utter panic I feel right now. Finding myself at 29 with no career. I'm lucky in that I have some savings from my previous occupation and no debt but the thoughts of the future fills me with dread. I am just so completely lost. I have no idea what I want to do, all I know is that I have chosen the worst career path possible for me. I'm a very caring, kind, empathetic person (without meaning to sound arrogant) and the industry I'm currently in is corporate, manipulative, and ego driven.

I can't afford to go back to college again, apart from feeling like a complete failure making a 3rd attempt at college, my savings would just not stretch that far. I just don't know what to do, I'm in tears writing this. I don't even have anyone to confide in, I don't want to burden my family, and my just friends don't understand ( I'm actually really good at what I do, they think I just lack confidence in my abilities, they don't understand how much I hate the industry). I feel completely and utterly lost, not to mention feeling like a massive failure, Ive struggled with depression in the past, and my career situation isn't helping, I'm trying my best not to sink back into it but it's becoming an increasing struggle.

I guess I'm just looking for advice or words of wisdom?

Rosy Posy

To put things in perspective you have 36+ years of working life ahead of you. The days of a linear career path are over and most people have a few changes in the course of their lives. It might help if you took some of the pressure off yourself and adjusted your expectations. Try to look at your life holistically instead of trying to define yourself by your profession- ask yourself what would make you happy in your life rather than what you want to be. To make a comparison I'm 32 and won't be embarking on a real career until I'm 40. That's still 25 years of working life!

Faith

Off the top of my head, it should be easy enough for you to get a position as a care assistant or support worker. You don't tend to need much in the way of qualifications for those positions, and they'd tap into your caring and empathetic side.

I'd go speak to a career counsellor. You have LOTS of options, trust me. You could get a job like a care assistant and simultaneously do an online degree course in something like psychology, social care, etc. You could do FETAC or similar courses in a relatively short period of time, and work while you do it.

I know how you're feeling, actually. I too retrained, into psychology and it's an area that's impossible to get a job in in Ireland at the moment. I KNOW my parents are thinking "She's 26 and still hasn't got a job, what a waste of the last 8 years", but I know it'll work out in the end. I've thought about throwing in the towel on psychology and just opening a bakery or something, but I couldn't deal with my parents!

I think firstly you need to decide what you do think you'd be good at. Make a list of your strong points, and then a list of jobs you think you'd like and you'd be good at, based on those. Then go away and do some research into online/distance learning/part-time courses that you'd be able to manage while working. You're just panicking at the moment and you can't see clearly, so just take a breath and think it all through, calmly and rationally. You're the most important person in your life, so you must put yourself first and try not to worry about what anyone else is thinking .

emmabrighton

Ah you're not alone. I have been laying awake at night thinking that I have made the wrong decisions with my career path. I am 33 and specialized in software development. I chose this career path drove a nail into that coffin just after I finished my degree in computer science.

I tried something else fun and out-doorsey that would interest me after I finished my degree but the winter came and I chickened out taking a database admin job where hot coffees could be had whenever I wanted. After 6 months, I started hating this job so went back to do a masters in computer science, finished first in my class and was offered a phd position in the university.

I think the moment I took the position, I knew it wasn't for me. 8 years on, two sabaticals and one child later and I still havent finished it. I am currently working in the IT sector and havent looked at my thesis since december of last year.

I kept putting obstacles in my way so I couldnt get the PhD done. I know my life would be better if I finished it but now am not willing to give up any of my time with my son to get it finished. I wasnt interested in it and wont be able to finish now. So I spent 8 years doing nothing.

I can't start anything new because I havent fully closed the door on getting that thesis finished though I have done nothing to get it done. I have been stuck like this for years not moving forward.

I think what the previous poster said is a good way of looking at it. You have a lifetime of work ahead of you. If you're brave enough, you can make it happen. Do what makes you happy or you can spend the next 10 years trying to decide if it is the right decision and still be stuck in the same place as you are today.

Now, if only I could take that advice my prospects might improve also