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Getting over someone

  • 26-07-2013 4:18pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi all, need to go unreg for this one...

    I'll try to keep it short. Basically, I had a relationship with a guy 7 years ago, lasted less than a year, broke up in July '07. I didn't want to break up at all.
    I still loved the guy but he has three children and decided to end things to go back to his partner "for the sake of the kids".
    Left me heartbroken to put it mildly.
    Had no contact until he emailed me out of the blue 4 years ago, (turns out he's married with 10 years) have been in contact since then (via emails). The next part, I'm not proud of, but we embarked on an affair for the last year or two, meeting up every few months.
    He put a stop to this a few months ago saying he needed to put his family first and that he is on anti-depressants etc.
    At the moment, I'm still struggling with my feelings for him, I feel like I never got any closure to this mess and I don't really know what to do. Should I email him and say that I need closure to move on?
    I'm not sure what I'm asking, I'm hoping maybe somebody might have been in this kind of a situation before and can advise me on what to do as I feel I can't move on without closing this chapter, if that sounds right....


Comments

  • #2
    December2012
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,695 ✭✭✭December2012


    Just walk away. Don't contact him, don't email him, nothing.


  • #3
    Esoteric_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    You DID get closure, OP. He told you the reason he was ending it - he was going back to his family.

    I don't think you want closure, because tbh you have closure. I think you just might want some more contact with him, maybe even a chance to see if he'd leave his family for you.

    All you can do is move on. That chapter of your life is over, even though you don't seem to think it is. What more closure can you get other than 'I want to go back to my family, so it's over?' There's nothing else he can say to make it easier. Anything else you hear from him would more than likely just make it more difficult for you to move on.

    Distract yourself, keep busy, block all forms of contact and eventually you will move on.


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thanks for taking the time to read and respond,it's a relief to be able to write all this down and get the advice that I've been in denial about.
    It's not until it's written down in front of you that it makes sense


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