Embarrassed -hpv/genital warts

Need Advice.com

Hi there,

So I don't know if this is appropriate or not but ill give it a shot anyways.

As you can see from the title today I was diagnosed with genital warts. After hours of crying nd getting sick I decided to do some proper research and am getting conflicting answers. The doctor told me that ill always have it but that I won't be contagious if I don't have the actual warts. However looking at the web nd from sites such as CDC etc it is saying that it is possible for the virus to disappear but after the warts r gone you can still pass them on. Also how do you check if the virus is gone if you have no warts?

On a personal level I feel embarrassed disgusting nd depressed. In the last 5 years I've had sex with two people, one of them was a four year relationship and the other a 5 month relationship that ended a few months ago(no points for guessing who I got it off). The last boyf was asked numerous times had he been tested etc nd always said he had regulars checks and was grand. What's worse is that it only happened unprotected twice on drunken nights nd even protection doesn't fully work. Should I tell him? I haven't even got the results of the full screen so god knows what else he has given me !

Also I think ill be a nun from now on coz I doubt any prospective partners will be sticking around when I tell them I'm infected with a life long disease!

Any advice will be greatly appreciated. X

Czarcasm

Need Advice.com wrote: »

Hi there,

So I don't know if this is appropriate or not but ill give it a shot anyways.

As you can see from the title today I was diagnosed with genital warts. After hours of crying nd getting sick I decided to do some proper research and am getting conflicting answers. The doctor told me that ill always have it but that I won't be contagious if I don't have the actual warts. However looking at the web nd from sites such as CDC etc it is saying that it is possible for the virus to disappear but after the warts r gone you can still pass them on. Also how do you check if the virus is gone if you have no warts?

Eesh, tough break OP, but by no means the end of the world, or even your social life. Posters on Boards.ie aren't allowed give you medical advice (It's a site-wide rule), so I can't offer you any medical advice, only practical advice, which would be that you should trust your own GP's advice and try not to take in everything you read on the internet- it can be far too easy to misinterpret it, especially when you're feeling so negative about the whole thing right now. If you're looking for the negatives, no doubt you'll find plenty.

On a personal level I feel embarrassed disgusting nd depressed. In the last 5 years I've had sex with two people, one of them was a four year relationship and the other a 5 month relationship that ended a few months ago(no points for guessing who I got it off). The last boyf was asked numerous times had he been tested etc nd always said he had regulars checks and was grand. What's worse is that it only happened unprotected twice on drunken nights nd even protection doesn't fully work. Should I tell him? I haven't even got the results of the full screen so god knows what else he has given me !

Also I think ill be a nun from now on coz I doubt any prospective partners will be sticking around when I tell them I'm infected with a life long disease!

Any advice will be greatly appreciated. X

On a more personal level (and please, bear in mind that this is only my limited experience, you're still better off if you have any questions to talk to your GP or if you're in college there are professional support services available) -

I can think of two people I know (one who found herself in your exact situation, almost word for word), who at the time thought her life as she knew it was over. Seven years later has an active social life, plenty of friends, has had a couple of boyfriends since that haven't worked out for OTHER reasons, and is now in I suppose you could call it a long term relationship (just over a year) with her current boyfriend. The guy she caught GW from actually KNEW he had it when she told him, he just "neglected" to tell her at the time, though it's entirely possible the guy you caught them from, isn't aware he has them.

Second girl I know, her husband actually caught them from his ex. They're together now about six years and recently had a child at Christmas!

In short OP, there's a lot more to the condition, including management and treatment of it, but the best people to advise you on that will be your GP and the STI clinic will be able to recommend to you any number of resources available in your area so you can be better informed than just reading whatever Google throws up.


I wouldn't be lining up to join the nuns just yet OP, there are plenty of decent guys out there that will be far more understanding and mature about your condition than you give them credit for. It doesn't have to take over your life and it's certainly not the end of it!

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

I contracted HPV in 2005.

I'm now married with a child and the second on the way. Both my wife and I have HPV. She has to have more regular smears as a result of HPV. Talk to your GP about this.

Keep the head up, I know this is a tough time for you.

You'd be surprised, there's plenty of people on the dating scene with HPV.

Being honest, some people will want out when they hear you have HPV, BUT some will be fine!

There's also HPV specific dating sites. I won't post any link but they're easy find.

Most importantly OP, keep the head up.

It could be worse!

neveah

From what I can make out there are more sexually active people with HPV than without it. It is passed on even when you wear condoms so it's not surprising really that it is so common. Most people don't know they have it. It can lie dormant for years in the body and then you can have a breakout of warts when your immune system is low. If you've had more than one partner it is near impossible to conclusively deduct which one gave them to you, whether you used condoms or not. It could have been either guy who passed it on and they might not even have known they had it, that is entirely possible.

It only develops into warts for approx 10% of people, these are the only visible signs of HPV. They are an inconvience but they aren't life-threatening and can be treated. There is no reason why you can't enjoy a normal healthy sex life going forward once they are gone. It is a shock to get them but you will soon get to grips with it and realise that it's not the end of the world. Just get regular smear tests as well in case you have the strain that causes cervical cancer. Keep living a healthy lifestyle and look after yourself and hopefully that'll be the end of them for you.

It's really not as bad as you think. You'd be surprised at how many people have this (as well as those that don't even know it!)