Mother doesn't seem to like new boyfriend

araic88

This may not end being a problem at all but I feel the need to vent.
I'm in my mid twenties and have never had a long term relationship. I've had some very short term things but never introduced anyone to my parents.
Yesterday I introduced a guy I've been seeing for 3 months to my mother (my father's away at the moment).
I guess I just assumed she'd like him, or I didn't think about how it might go but while she was polite etc. afterwards when I brought it up & asked what she thought of him she had very little to say & made it kind of obvious she wasn't overly impressed. Today she commented how nice a tan I've gotten in the sun, and went on to tell me I'm 'so pretty' ending up basically saying I could be with anyone. I think it was her way of saying he's not good enough for me :rolleyes:
Now I'm not overly worried about getting her approval or anything, she even said herself "it's not what I think that matters, it's what you think" but I felt a bit deflated afterwards and now feel nervous about introducing him to my friends or meeting his family. Maybe I'm also a bit hurt that after being single for so long & having met someone she knows I like that she reacted like that. She doesn't even have a good reason to disapprove, he was friendly & polite, he works hard & has a good job. Maybe looks matter more to her than I thought :rolleyes:
Anyway, I feel better already after typing but maybe someone has some comments or similar experience

December2012

How does tan = you could be with anyone = she doesn't like your boyfriend?

She's not the one going out with him, she doesn't know him, all she knows is you.

Just because you're mad about him you can't expect her to be.

Do you think she has a reason to not like him?

araic88

Sorry I edited my first post to try and explain the tan thing as I obviously hadn't done so before!

blatantrereg

It might be worth asking her what her reasons are for being negative. It's very common for people to end relationships with bad people only to hear their friends and family admit they saw the problems a mile off. Listen to what she says and make up your own mind. Just dismiss it if it's something trivial like looks (which is what it sounds like).

That's speaking as someone who has never been receptive to people criticising a current partner. Thinking of certain exes, I realise in hindsight that a bit more critical thinking on my own part would have been better than bloody-minded unearned loyalty.

Bigdeadlydave

She met him once.. she will probably like him when she gets to know him. Probably would have said the same about Brad Pitt!