Human sh*te in garden.

keelanj69

So I have a neighbour who has a broken septic tank which has resulted in shít overflowing in her garden. It's been there for months. She even has animals living in it.

This is a person on a nice wage but who spends over 200e a week on smoking and goes out four nights a week. However she always claims she is skint. She has been told to fix it, and how, but is too lazy to. She is also aware of inspections and fines.

The smell is mank so my question is - What would you do AH? Report her, and to who? Live with it? Or push her head in to her own shít?

krudler

Time it so she wakes up one morning to you sitting there reading a paper adding to the pile, that'll learn her. Or maybe it won't and you'll forever be known around the town as "that man". Either way post the results here.

Smash The House

Get a bucket, go to her garden and fill it up and dump the contents on her car

kaimera

Bound to be something lying around you could blast her with.

That, or toilet roll.

Mr Benevolent

Cleanse the area with fire. Alternatively, report the breach to the relevant authorities, who will have something expensive to say to her.

Boombastic

I'd be calling environmental health out asap

Vicar in a tutu

Fling ****eballs at her

Mint Sauce

How do you know what she spends on smokes, or where she goes at night?

Ilik Urgee

It's obvious she wants anal off you OP.

Vicar in a tutu

Eat it in front of her

Bandito909

As above, blast her with piss.

ScumLord

I don't see how that would be just ignored by the authorities?? Human shyte is about the most toxic stuff you can be around. It's full of all kinds of diseases and attracts more as it sits there. Get someone to deal with it immediately!

xzanti

keelanj69 wrote: »

So I have a neighbour who has a broken septic tank which has resulted in shít overflowing in her garden. It's been there for months. She even has animals living in it.

In the septic tank?

keelanj69 wrote: »

This is a person on a nice wage but who spends over 200e a week on smoking

How do you know?

keelanj69 wrote: »

and goes out four nights a week. However she always claims she is skint. She has been told to fix it, and how, but is too lazy to. She is also aware of inspections and fines.

The smell is mank so my question is - What would you do AH? Report her, and to who? Live with it? Or push her head in to her own shít?

Report her.

Wailin

Ilik Urgee wrote: »

It's obvious she wants anal off you OP.

:D:D

CardBordWindow

Shít happens!

keelanj69

Mint Sauce wrote: »

How do you know what she spends on smokes, or where she goes at night?

Trust me. I know these things.

If I was in her situation I'd be changing my diet. I just couldn't sleep at night knowing I was backing out a Tikka Masalla-y poop onto my own animals.

Cody Pomeray

what animals live in poo?

also

€200 a week on cigarettes?

That's about 60 cigarettes a day/ 1 cigarette per 15 minutes? (assuming she doesn't smoke in her sleep)

Is that even possible?

keelanj69

Cody Pomeray wrote: »

what animals live in poo?

also

€200 a week on cigarettes?

That's about 60 cigarettes a day/ 1 cigarette per 15 minutes? (assuming she doesn't smoke in her sleep)

Is that even possible?

Unfortunatly yes. Even after all the health complications she's chaining away.

keelanj69

In regards the animals. She keeps them out doors in the area now designated for shít.

Renegade Mechanic

Cody Pomeray wrote: »

what animals live in poo?

also

€200 a week on cigarettes?

That's about 60 cigarettes a day/ 1 cigarette per 15 minutes? (assuming she doesn't smoke in her sleep)

Is that even possible?

There are a few die-hards left, believe it or not. At any rate, Id report that straight away. Im no fan of "snitching" but thats just fowl. People could catch some pretty nasty illnesses. Think about that in the heat weve had. I would not tolerate living in a cloud of fecal particles.

cherryghost

Grab a shovel, and at night, scoop the crap closer to the back door every night, until her back door is smothered in it. It'll make it look like flowing lava is devouring her house, but it's actually fecal matter.

Boombastic

cherryghost wrote: »

Grab a shovel, and at night, scoop the crap closer to the back door every night, until her back door is smothered in it. It'll make it look like flowing lava is devouring her house, but it's actually fecal matter.

Would the outcome be worth the input?

Renegade Mechanic

cherryghost wrote: »

Grab a shovel, and at night, scoop the crap closer to the back door every night, until her back door is smothered in it. It'll make it look like flowing lava is devouring her house, but it's actually fecal matter.

HA! So she will be sh*tting on her doorstep!:D

Aced_Up

I'm surprised you had to even ask... It's an environmental issue... Toxic waste!

Sir Osis of Liver.

Got any pics of your neighbour ?

If not ,some pics of her sh1te will do.

Renegade Mechanic

Sir Osis of Liver. wrote: »

Got any pics of your neighbour ?

If not ,some pics of her sh1te will do.

You know he has both:p

dmc17

Call the septic tank man

Gummy Panda

Cody Pomeray wrote: »

what animals live in poo?

Poo bears

Annasopra

keelanj69 wrote: »

So I have a neighbour who has a broken septic tank which has resulted in shít overflowing in her garden. It's been there for months. She even has animals living in it.

This is a person on a nice wage but who spends over 200e a week on smoking and goes out four nights a week. However she always claims she is skint. She has been told to fix it, and how, but is too lazy to. She is also aware of inspections and fines.

The smell is mank so my question is - What would you do AH? Report her, and to who? Live with it? Or push her head in to her own shít?

Report it

A0

Sounds good, a lot of fake tan at hand...

lkionm

mango salsa wrote: »

Report it

Not too sure what the mods would do though?

I am pie

Better this than a safe full of fck all.

Gael23

This is a public health issue so should be reported to the council. If there are concerns for the dogs welfare I'd look at contacting the local SPCA

shruikan2553

Get a power hose and clean it up for her and by clean I mean stand at the end of the garden facing the house and move it forward until the back of her house is painted. Bonus points for getting it in open windows.

cletus van damme

why on after hours do the offending people (whom the complaint is made about) always have a wonderful social life?

keelanj69

cletus van damme wrote: »

why on after hours do the offending people (whom the complaint is made about) always have a wonderful social life?

I wouldn't call it wonderful. It's to bingo she goes.

The Backwards Man

Go nuclear on her ass.

If you want something done, you got to go straight to the top.

biko

I don't think this thread needs pics.

Sin City

OP your going to get cholera and other nasty diseases

Glad I dont live near the both of ye

What a sh**ty thread

keelanj69

biko wrote: »

I don't think this thread needs pics.

Dang. I figured we could play a game of 'What did keelanj69s neighbour have for dinner?'

Today was something that involved sweetcorn..

Renegade Mechanic

keelanj69 wrote: »

Dang. I figured we could play a game of 'What did keelanj69s neighbour have for dinner?'

Today was something that involved sweetcorn..

Cmon, dont be stingy:D

keelanj69

Renegade Mechanic wrote: »

Cmon, dont be stingy:D

I'll be honest. Looks like a half digested vegitarian pizza is swimming down the bottom of the garden.

Renegade Mechanic

keelanj69 wrote: »

I'll be honest. Looks like a half digested vegitarian pizza is swimming down the bottom of the garden.

Yeah.... Yeah you should probably report that before something growly crawls out!

Boombastic

keelanj69 wrote: »

I'll be honest. Looks like a half digested vegitarian pizza is swimming down the bottom of the garden.

A big Rat will probably have that for it's supper later on

keelanj69

Boombastic wrote: »

A big Rat will probably have that for it's supper later on

Well the poor animals do have to eat.

I could be condemning what is a new form of hippy one with earth, circle of life crap.

irritablebaz

ryanf1 wrote: »

This is a public health issue so should be reported to the council. If there are concerns for the dogs welfare I'd look at contacting the local SPCA

this, and do it asap and tell her you are doing it. absolutely disgusting vile woman she must be.

john_cappa

Can you slip some mice or rats in one of her windows? When she freaks say u ain't surprised there are vermin.

Ruu

Scoop some into a paper bag, set it on fire and leave it on her doorstep. Brilliant, hehehehe.

Pretzill

keelanj69 wrote: »

So I have a neighbour who has a broken septic tank which has resulted in shít overflowing in her garden. It's been there for months. She even has animals living in it.

This is a person on a nice wage but who spends over 200e a week on smoking and goes out four nights a week. However she always claims she is skint. She has been told to fix it, and how, but is too lazy to. She is also aware of inspections and fines.

The smell is mank so my question is - What would you do AH? Report her, and to who? Live with it? Or push her head in to her own shít?

I'm ever so slightly suspicious of your story. Houses with septic tanks are often detatched, unless you're all on the same linked system - being able to see the contents of this persons leavings means you are living really close to their septic tank (are you camping in their garden?) or you have a weird obsession going on. One day of that smell in the heat we had lately would have alerted someone to call the relevent authorities - if not on septic tank lady on the peeping sh*t stirrer who seems to know all her business.

keelanj69

Pretzill wrote: »

I'm ever so slightly suspicious of your story. Houses with septic tanks are often detatched, unless you're all on the same linked system - being able to see the contents of this persons leavings means you are living really close to their septic tank (are you camping in their garden?) or you have a weird obsession going on. One day of that smell in the heat we had lately would have alerted someone to call the relevent authorities - if not on septic tank lady on the peeping sh*t stirrer who seems to know all her business.

Dear Pretzill,

Thank you for your interesting hypothesis, friend. I'll definitly take all your points into account when making any decision. Of course, you know my situation better than I do.

Yours, with kindest regards,
Keelanj69.

P.S If you feel the need to discuss any further suspicions you have, by all means write a letter, address it to yourself and work away. Because I could give less than two of my neighbours shíts.

meoklmrk91

Seriously why have you let this go on for so long, it's a serious health hazard, make a complaint to the council and to you local dog warden or SPCA, what kind a disgusting pig would live like this, it's vile.