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Ex Girlfriend

  • 23-07-2013 2:36am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi all,

    I'm currently in a relationship around the year mark, but everytime I see my ex girlfriend pop up on a friend of friends facebook or the the likes I feel like 'shes the one' We ended on extremely bad terms, after our break up we became friends, but the type of 'friends' who couldn't talk about if we were dating anyone etc etc. I was always more into her than she was me. As soon as I got with my current girlfriend I cut all ties with her and since then we havn't spoken. But I still feel that something isn't right about us. If I had to choose between her and my current girlfriend, I would choose my girlfriend because I know I could never trust my ex and we just wouldn't work out. Is that settling? I'm crazy about my girlfriend,we went away together twice get on perfect. I'm just curious as to, is what I'm feeling normal? Should I still wonder about my ex? I always hope she's doing well, she currently has a boyfriend and I was happy for her.

    Any thoughts?


Comments

  • #2
    Mozzeltoff
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,614 ✭✭✭Mozzeltoff


    In my opinion, it seems to me you might be a little confused and it's all down to the fact that you're missing her and you're still hung up on her. If you know it won't work out with your ex then I am afraid I am going to have to be blunt and say you're going to have to move on and get over it. You say you're with another girl now for a year and that you're mad about her. If really are crazy about her I reckon you should put your ex out of your head. Easier said than done, I know but it's for the better!

    Admittedly I do think of an ex of mine every now and again, just in a "Oh wonder where he is now or he's getting on" kind of thing. We were great friends at one stage but we drifted apart and lost contact. It's not unusual but that's all there is to it..well for me anyway..


  • #3
    starling
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,135 ✭✭✭starling


    What you're describing sounds pretty 'normal' alright. You were mad about your ex and those feelings don't always just disappear overnight, it's natural to have a little of that attraction left over. It's also natural to have "what if......" after we make any decision.

    I'm afraid Mozzeltov is right though, you do need to "get over it." Even though you say you think "she's the one" you also mention that you couldn't trust her and that's a huge factor in a happy relationship. It doesn't sound like she's the one really.

    After a year with your current gf you really should be thinking of your feelings about her in their own light, rather than as compared to your ex. The lingering feelings about your ex have stayed in your thoughts for so long it sounds like it's become habit. It's unfair to both you and your gf to allow past relationships to interfere with your current relationship. I know it's difficult to stop thinking about something because "don't think about it" is not the way our brains work, but you need to try to leave the past behind. Don't allow yourself to daydream about what might have been with your ex.

    You mention that your ex has mutual facebook friends. If so it might be worth considering blocking her for a while as you mention they trigger you to start thinking about her and having these feelings. Just for long enough that you've broken the habit. Just a suggestion :)


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