In love with female friend

LegacyUser

hello, im female and I have falling big time for one of my female friends its ruining my entire life, I cannot get her out of my head and I know she hasent got these feelings back as shes not gay, its so hard to deal with, I see her a lot and we hang around in a big group of friends, nobody knows and its eating me up inside, also I like guys too so this has come out of no where for me

Sandypants

Well it happened to me...tho i was the friend she liked an im not gay.... Sorry to be blunt but your most likely wasting your time...maybe you should try keep your distance to clear your head.

LegacyUser

its hard to keep your distance when we have all the same friends and all hang out together, I could never tell her how I feel but if I start keeping my distance she will think I have a problem with her, its a really hard situation to be in

blatantrereg

You might be surprised at how many women are open to homosexual experiences. That said, the number who would be interested in an actual relationship with another woman would be much smaller.

Why could you never tell her how you feel? It's nothing to be ashamed of. It's the only logical solution here I'd think. Like you say yourself, if you distance yourself without giving a reason she'll think you have a problem with her. She might even reciprocate.

xzanti

What about approaching the subject in a light hearted way.. at an opportune moment! A girly night out or something.. "Oh ***** you're gorgeous, I've got the biggest girl crush on you LOL :pac: isn't she a stunner ladies??!!" sort of thing.. nothing too heavy!

Then you'll have gotten your feelings out there and she'll either dispel any illusions you may be secretly harboring that she might feel the same way.. or you never know, she could even be open to the idea of some girly love..

Then again, none of us know you or the girl in question.. you really have to guage for yourself how risky it is.

Sometimes it's best just to keep mum and ride it out.. Best of luck anyway.

miamee

Please stop suggesting that this person's straight friend might be open to a gay experience. If it were a gay man with a crush on his straight friend, I doubt you'd suggest the same.

OP, if you are close enough to this girl to speak to her alone perhaps, as someone suggested, it might be a good idea to tell her you have feelings for her. It'll get the feelings out and she will hopefully let you down gently, even though you already know she is straight. Don't cut off all of your friends just to avoid this one person. The reality of telling her and her reaction might help you move on from this. Good luck

leggo

Unrequited love isn't love, it's infatuation. I'm not saying that to make light of what you're going through, because I know it's very intense when you're caught up in it, but just to give you perspective that as crazy as you're going about this girl, if she doesn't feel the same then it'll likely pass with time. Of course the option is always there to just tell her, as people have suggested.

You say this has come completely out of the blue. When you say that are you referring to your feelings towards other women too? I'm not gay, but I'd imagine when you start getting feelings for people of the same gender, it's very easy to attach ALL of those feelings to the first person you take a liking to (kinda like the first time you fall in love - you think they're the ONLY person in the world you can feel that way about, for a time). So why not try and look into other women who are lesbian and see how you feel then? Maybe the intense feelings about this girl will pass.

xzanti

miamee wrote: »

If it were a gay man with a crush on his straight friend, I doubt you'd suggest the same.

Well no, but in my experience, women are generally more open minded about same sex encounters than men are.. Outside of the openly gay and bi community of course.

LegacyUser

there is no way anything could ever happen as she has no interest in females what so ever and ive heard her say this before, so id be wasteing my time, ive never even being with a girl before to all my friends im straight, this is the 2nd time ive got a girl crush in my life and when I get one its ruins my life its all I can think about,

LegacyUser

I would just stay good friends and you will get over it as time goes on, keep your mind busy and stay active,