Sibbling weddings too close???

name0123

hi

my sibling told me they are getting married apr next year, myself and my OH are engaged 2 years and we had this plan thatwe would start trying for a baby in march

just before my sibling told us about their plans we had been talking of having a very small wedding that same time (we had no plans previously as we dont have the money but do want to be married before we start trying for kids)

now we wouldnt have a 'big day' we would prob only bring parents with us to get married and then go off on a honeymoon

how bad would it be if I was to go ahead and do that. I dont want to upset anyone and our plans are not set in stone at all yet

December2012

I think it would be upsetting to have them one month apart, could you tell her your plans and see how she feels?

name0123

thats what I was thinking, I dont want to say a word until we have it definite that we will do something, its really putting me off cos I dont want to upset her.

January

I'd say it to your sister first, she'll probably be so excited for you, especially if you are not doing the "big" wedding thing.

Lux23

Why not do it sooner then? Go on your honeymoon a little later if you need to save up.

Pawwed Rig

Why not do it this year? A wedding can easily be organised in 3 months. The important parts are getting the paperwork sorted and booking someone to marry you. Anything else is just filling.

hedgehog2

Whats the big rush in having one of natures little bundles of joy.
I would let your sis have her day if she is having a big wedding yoursxwikl b completley overshadowed by it.
Leave yours until a few months after and no worries,she did call the date even if you are engaged longer.
Why the rush with kids unless its an age issue your going to want to enjoy the free time with your husband first and then try for kids if you still want them.

DjangoMc

Talk to your sibling about it. My brother ran out and booked his wedding for three months after mine and its caused nothing but grief. He said I ruined all his planning (despite our wedding being booked way before his)
A month apart could cause some friction between you and your sibling.

name0123

kids is something I dont want to put off much longer, we were hoping to try this year but have already decided to leave it until next year. If I knew I would have no complications I would consider holding off but unfortunately there is no way to know until we start trying

that isnt a bad idea getting married this year and then just having our honeymoon next year when we originally wanted to give more time to save money for it, thanks all

basketmon

oh i dunno i would talk to your sister first and early on before you plan too much, but have to say if my sister suggested this i would not be happy at all. i know it sounds crazy and i would acknowledge it being crazy - but i just wouldnt be happy logic goes out the window sometimes when you ve invested so much time and money into one day.

also alot would depend on your relationship with each other too and suppose alot of other factors. like both of your ages, history of sibling rivalry - all sounds silly i know but weddings turn the most sane people into bridezillas.

name0123

we get on so well, there is never any crap betweeen us, like ever.

she is having the big church and day that goes along with it so I was hoping as mine will be very minimum it may not be such a big issue, but before I plan anything I will def talk to her,

Gatica

Consider having your wedding "private" asap, since all you want is your parents there. Decide if this is what both you and your OH wants.
Then talk to your sister and let her know that if you're married this year, there won't be any perceived rivalry of weddings next year.

lazygal

Do you want a wedding or do you want to get married?


If its the latter, it takes ten minutes max and if you're not fussy about time and date can be done relatively quickly.

April O Neill

hedgehog2 wrote: »

Whats the big rush in having one of natures little bundles of joy.

Well, age could be a factor.

Don't know what age the OP is, but many women are keen to have a baby as far before 35 as possible, just because it means there's less risk involved. Of course, it could also just be that they are dying to have kids, and that's a good enough reason too, IMO.

April O Neill

DjangoMc wrote: »

Talk to your sibling about it. My brother ran out and booked his wedding for three months after mine and its caused nothing but grief. He said I ruined all his planning (despite our wedding being booked way before his)

Well, I'm sorry, but your bro was just being daft here. How can he say you ruined his planning when ye booked first?

Pawwed Rig

The baby is a more important decision too. Also it is more life changing so that date is infinitely more important
What if you stole your sisters thunder and gave birth on her wedding day?

bringupthebook

lazygal wrote: »

Do you want a wedding or do you want to get married?


If its the latter, it takes ten minutes max and if you're not fussy about time and date can be done relatively quickly.

Cold!

You both deserve your day to be special. It's nothing to do with whether its a big celebration or not. Plan the day you want. Talk it out with your sibling and I'm sure you can sort it all out.