Any advice please??

LegacyUser

Hey guys,
Fairly regular poster here but going unreg for this one.
I'm a bit unsure about whats best for me to do and hoping someone can offer some advice!

Anyhow, here goes....
I'm a 22 y/o male, and about 5 months ago I had a bit of a thing with a really good friends older sister. I was in school with your man and we were probably best friends but drifted apart a bit because of different colleges etc. Anyway, all through school I knew his sister, and was absolutely mad about her! Shes 25. She would often come out drinking with us on nights out as she'd be pretty good friends with all our group of friends.
As I got a bit more mature after leaving school and stuff (for the past 2 years I suppose) there always seemed to be a bit of a connection between us, always a lot of flirting, a bit of texting every so often etc but nothing more then that.
Eventually then after christmas this year, we were out and we kissed. We arranged to meet up for a few drinks and things kind of developed from there. She said she had wanted it for ages, the same as myself obviously!
At first we kept it to ourselves, but she said she wanted to tell her brother, my friend, rather then him finding out off someone else or seeing us together at some stage. We told him anyway and he said he was fine with it, but in reality he wasn't. He hardly spoke to her at all when they were at home. She'd ask whats wrong with him and he'd just say nothing, or ignore her completely! He was fine with me however, if I rang him or met him he'd chat away to me no problem! Obviously I knew he wasnt happy about the whole thing though so after about 6 weeks and him still not talking to her I called it off, for 2 reasons I think. 1 because of her relationship with her brother, although she said she didnt care, and 2 because for me (I'm not sure how to say this) but it was like I'd always been mad about this girl, thought she was well beyond my reach but then once I'd had her it was like challenge complete if you get me, I didn't see a future with her or anything (I realise how bad that sounds).
When we broke up she said it had all been worth it and she'd do it again no problem!
Now the thing is, in the last while I've been kind of looking back and relised to myself that I actually had some great times with her, that she is an amazing person, stunningly beautiful and honestly someone that I could see myself with in the future!! We still text from time to time, but I don't know weather to leave things or to try again. I don't want herself and her brother to fall out again, if things didn't work out this time that would surely be it between me and him as well!!
I know this post has been very drawn out, but thanks for reading and and advice would be great!!

desbrook

OP - one thing stands out in your post . You say that her brother fell out with her yet the only evidence you have for this is her word . This is strange because as you say he was 100% ok when you spoke 1-2-1 to him and also there seems no reason why he should have a problem in the first place. Lots of guys go on to even marry their mate's sisters - its very common . From what you have written is all seems fishy .

Let's say he is annoyed with you and she's telling the truth . Now it's your behaviour that weird ! You give up this "amazing person" who is "stunning beautiful " because of a guy that you aren't really that good a mate of ?? Really ?? I mean you drifted away from him before and it could easily happen again .

All in all it sound like your head (s) isn't in the right place for a serious relationship . You are young and enjoying yourself - you are a bit immature but don't take that as an insult . Those of us in our 40's would gladly take the label to be 22 again !

_dublinlad_

The brother thing shouldn't matter. The three of you are adults, if he has a problem with it its his problem to deal with alone.

It sounds like you realised the chemistry just wasn't truly there. Sure she was stunning and amazing and you had fun flirting and having the banter.

But a few weeks down the line you realised there wasn't anything substantial enough there. As your fairly young this may seem a bit odd to you. Your probably thinking of her in terms of attributes now and if you listed them on a piece of paper she would sound amazing, right? This has no bearing on chemistry i'm afraid and that's all relationships are truly about.

I would suggest let her go.

LegacyUser

desbrook wrote: »

Let's say he is annoyed with you and she's telling the truth . Now it's your behaviour that weird ! You give up this "amazing person" who is "stunning beautiful " because of a guy that you aren't really that good a mate of ?? Really ?? I mean you drifted away from him before and it could easily happen again .

Yeah that's the thing!! I didn't realise it at the time! I suppose I had the blinkers on and didnt see past the sex with this girl I'd been mad about for years! But now that I've been there I can step back and see it from another angle!
With regard to her possibly making it up, tbh I'm fairly certain she wouldn't!! She' have no reason to and it wouldn't really achieve anything would it?
Thanks for the reply!

LegacyUser

_dublinlad_ wrote: »

The brother thing shouldn't matter. The three of you are adults, if he has a problem with it its his problem to deal with alone.

It sounds like you realised the chemistry just wasn't truly there. Sure she was stunning and amazing and you had fun flirting and having the banter.

But a few weeks down the line you realised there wasn't anything substantial enough there. As your fairly young this may seem a bit odd to you. Your probably thinking of her in terms of attributes now and if you listed them on a piece of paper she would sound amazing, right? This has no bearing on chemistry i'm afraid and that's all relationships are truly about.

I would suggest let her go.

Tbh that does kind of sound correct!! We had good times together, she is a great girl but as you say maybe it's the chemistry just wasnt there!!