How long should you wait to hear I love you

Waiting game1980

I am seeing a guy for 8 months now and I am in love with him which I have told him recently. He says he is not ready to say it back to me which I am fine about. He says he sees me as being the "one" and I do believe him when he says that. He says he is not sure how you know whether you are in love with someone or not.

My question is though, how long is a reasonable time frame for me to wait to expect to hear him say those words? We are both in our early 30's so I am thinking that if I don't hear it by the New Year then I should cut my losses.

Not exactly a confidence boaster if it takes a guy a year to fall in love with you, is it?

MARTYRYAN

Hi
I wouldn't get too exercised about it just et. If I am reading your post correctly this is the first time that he has had such strong feelings about a woman. It can be quite a daunting thing to throw out the L word, as you know, especially for the first time.
If you feel comfortable in your relationship and if he is treating you well I would give him some more time and space to work it through.
Maybe another talk would be in order if he still hasnt reciprocated in another 3 or 4 months

CaraMay

But why wogld he think you are 'the one' if he doesn't know if he loves you??? Tbh it sounds like mind games. I.personally would have to wonder why he would be with someone for 8 months and not love them. Something smells a bit off here.

gg2

Has he been burned in the past?

Candy_Girl

What's with the time frame? I'm sure you know too well how he feels about you, is it really that important to hear those three words?

Toast4532

My boyfriend and I were together about eight or nine months before either of us said it.

We didn't want to rush anything and it's my first serious relationship so I guess we both wanted to wait before throwing those words around.

Try not to get too worked up about it, maybe he has been burned before as another poster pointed out, or maybe he's waiting until he feels its the right time for him to say it.

Maybe if you haven't heard those words by Christmas, then have a serious talk about it, but certainly don't put him under any pressure to say them because you expect them, let him tell you when he is ready too.

Irish_Elect_Eng

In your teens or twenties I would accept uncertainty, but at 33 he should know where his head is at after a few months.

You asked for a verbal commitment, he did not give it.

I would be a bit worried.

R.D. aka MR.D

An ex-boyfriend of mine thought that if he told me that he was in love with me that meant that he had to marry me!

Maybe he sees saying it as some sort of huge commitment?

Try to talk calmly about it and see what he has to say.

Lovetochill

Op, 8 months together and he is not sure if he loves you? I would be worried.

Ask him do you love me? If he can't even say the word "yes", get out and find someone who will emotionally credit your life unless you have time to wait for him to fall in love with you, but he has been with you for 8 months, I think its enough time to know if you love someone.

There are some women who do not need to hear those words and others who do. It is not a bad thing either way, but it is a bad thing, if you need to hear those words as well as see the love and you are not having your emotional needs met.

My boyfriend was with his ex for more than a year and he never said he loved her because he was not in love with her. It was just a comfortable relationship for him. When we met, after 3 months he said he loves me and he still says that everyday with his actions.

Lorna123

When a person is in love they want to tell the whole world and they can't wait to tell the person they are in love with. The words come easy when you are in love. So I would not make any excuses for this guy. He is not in love if he cannot say the words. I really think too that 8 months is enough time to fall in love with someone. I don't know what I would do OP, but you have to accept that he does not love you. I don't know if he ever will if he has not done so after 8 months. I would be keeping my options open if I were you.