Another breakup

LegacyUser

I know it may seem pointless writing antoher breakup tale in this forum, but I guess I need the release and some clarity in my situation.
Was going out with a guy I had met on a dating site for 10 months or so. Proper relationship and stuff. Went on a few trips away and a month before we broke up we went on a proper holiday together. Everything on the holiday seemed to go well and there was talk of future trips etc.
During the relationship there were a couple of minor "misunderstandings" rather then rows. He had just gotten out of a long term relationship with a person he lived with before getting with me, I had been in that situation before and for the first few week I felt a bit uncomfortable with that and I mentioned it a few times (I couldnt help myself) through fear of getting hurt really or that he would realise he wanted his ex back.
There were times in the relationship where I felt he was quite a distant person, I felt I would need to see if he was ok etc as it seemed he would go off into his own little world. I felt it was difficult to read him at times. We didnt spend a whole lot of time together - maybe saw each other twice a week (we both live at home and are both that bit older also)
Having said all of this, I completely fell for him. When we were together it all made sense. We had fun together, went on some nice trips, I felt like he really did care about me and love me.
About three weeks ago I noticed he started getting extrememly quite and distant with me, of course I asked him was everything ok, was it me etc to which he replied no. One word texts continued etc and it totally freaked me out. We met up and to which he told me he was unhappy with his life in general, hated his job, hated living at home etc. I assured him i would help him to look for a new job or help him sort things out (I was his girlfriend and wanted to help him of course)
Things started to get difficult over text in the next few days so we met again a few days later. He assured me that he didnt want to breakup with me and was very affectionate etc. he told me that he felt that I was very distant with him, that I kept him at a distance from the start of the relationship and that hadnt gone away. I cant get that out of my head as I really didnt mean to be like that, I just value my independence and I like to meet with my friends etc. At the end of this meeting I had the feeling there was nothing which I could do that could solve this situation and I said to him that maybe I wasnt right for him and that maybe he needed to sort some stuff out. we left each other at that point both in tears. I rang him a while later and he said he didnt want to never see me again and wanted to be with me. A text later from him claimed that he couldnt imagine not waking up with me in his bed ever again.
Things were quiet for the next few days and then say 4 days later i asked him what was the story, had he told people we broke up as in fairness we had hardly spoken in a few days. he said that he told his mother etc. At this point again i felt I did want to try for us to be together and expressed this to him, he then turned and said that he "couldnt do it" and it wouldnt be fair on me. So he basically ended it. I know I pretty much did the same a few days earlier but I was really leaving the ball in his court.
I get an email off him later that evening saying he really cared about me but I deserved someone who was really crazy about me and that could always be there for me, that I deserved happiness and at the moment he felt I would have a better chance of that with someone else.
Two weeks later I am still finding it all very difficult, I dont understand how someone can go from "I cant imagine not waking up with you again" and " my life is so much better with you in it" to this, nothing. my heart is sore as despite everything I really care and love this person.
There has been nothing since that last email, no texts no call nothing.. yes I know... time to move on.

Lorna123

He was just trying to let you down gently, but the way to look at it is that he would be with you if he wanted to be. Breakups are very hard and nobody wants to hurt someone else. The guy is feeling bad about hurting you but at the end of the day he wants out. So yes, it is time to move on. At least now you know what the story is so there is no mystery about it. After a while it won't feel so bad. There is nothing you can do to change this situation. This guy has made up his mind and told you how he feels. You don't need this so best to find someone who will appreciate you and forget about him.