Has she opened the door again?

LegacyUser

I shall try to make this as short as possible.

Was out with friends one night and got talking to a girl, we got on well and when I got home she had added me on facebook. We started chatting/flirting through that and then met up for a drink. We got on really well and ended up kissing at the end of the night. She even said that she thought she had met her match in me!! After that we would chat every day and then met again and again had a great time and finished with a kiss. Again after this meeting we spent alot of time chatting and then met again for drinks and again got on great and again after this meeting spent loads of time chatting. About a month after we had first met we ended up spending a whole day together (we didn’t sleep together – I was happy to take it slowly as I got the impression that is what she wanted) and at the end of the evening, we had a nice kiss and she said that she would see me next week. Again after this we spent a couple of days chatting as normal and arranged to go for dinner.

Then, out of nowhere, she suddenly went very quiet. Where we would normally exchange maybe 30 texts in a normal day it fell away to 1 or 2. I knew she was having issues with work so put it down to this. Then she cancelled our dinner date. I then asked her if everything was okay and if things were okay between us. I didn’t get a reply for a few days and then she replied saying that she had a great time with me, and really liked spending time with me but wasn’t in a position at this time to commit to a relationship. She wanted to remain in touch as friends and said she hoped to see me at a mutual friends birthday which was coming up. I replied saying that I had really liked spending time with her too and that I understood why she couldn’t commit to anything more (she was considering moving away for work) and that I was just happy getting to know her and was happy to just keep doing that. Almost immediately she went back to her old self, we were chatting flirting etc. We even met for coffee the following morning, however, left without kissing. After this meeting we spent most days chatting/flirting as previously.

Anyway, the day of our mutual friends birthday came along and basically she was all over the place at it and pretty much blanked me (and alot of other people) at it. I got quite drunk and kind of upset and basically texted her later that night that I had felt hurt, couldn’t be just friends with her and although I really liked her had to walk away for my own sanity sake. I got no reply. I found out after the night that she was in such a state that night because her ex boyfriend had shown up there and she had not been expecting that – they had had a very messy break up. I also realised that she had blocked me on facebook.

Anyway, I got over it and got on with things. Then I met a mutual friend for a drink and she said that the reason the girl had pushed me away was because she had felt “suffocated”. Which I couldn’t really understand. I had taken it as slowly as possible. Anyway, I put all of this to the back of my mind and moved on. Now, just last week I see that this girl has unblocked me on facebook. I really liked this girl and thought she really liked me too. We got on so well together and I can’t for the life of me understand how things went south!! Should I read anything into her unblocking me on facebook, should I contact her again or should I just carry on with my life?

PS: If I am totally honest, I really do still have feelings for this girl. I have never gotten on so well with anyone before and (even some of her friends) had said we were a good couple. I want to get over her, and had deleted her off my phone and facebook and accepted things were over once she had blocked me!!

Villaboi!

Having been in a similar situation myself man, I'd say just move on! I know it's easier said then done, but she has made it clear in her previous actions that she is not interested/prepared for a relationship.

I know you may get on with her brilliantly and everything but the fact to me seems that this girl is a bit all over the place and will continue to wreck your head if you carry on pursuing her.

As I said it's easier said then done and I have been through this whole situation before in a similar way where I was convinced that me and some girl could work out. It didn't. I wasted a good amount of time hoping it would and debating should I put in more effort, ultimately it wouldn't of made any difference, and it hindered meeting new people.

You just got to let this one go mate and put it down to experience. It's a cliche but there's loads more girls out there and you might stumble into plenty in the future that you like and nothing may happen but you'll also stumble into the ones that will be worth the effort and won't leave you hanging or wondering about how they feel about you. I wish you the best man whatever you decide.

December2012

You get on brilliantly with her.

But she does not get on brilliantly with you.

That's the hard facts.

If she wanted to be going out with you, she would be.

Personally, 30 texts a day sounds OTT to me but I can't say if that's the smothering, or even if that's true - you got second hand information on that point.

Just leave it be, don't look for any subtle hints, she knows you're interested and if she wants you she will come and get you.

MikeCork2009

Sorry to be blunt but normally when a girl (and I'm open to correction here) says she isn't ready to commit to more or in a place for a relationship, she is trying to let you down easily. What she really means is that she doesn't want to have a relationship or anything more than friendship with you. Take the time you had with her as a nice memory and move on, this girl is not interested in you as a long term prospect I am afraid.

Also, on the 30+ messages, sounds like you were too available. In the future be a bit more reserved/less open in the beginning. If you are there whenever a girl texts/wants it removes the challenge. Let them want to win your attention.